"Yay!" for the premiere of the fourth season of Weeds; but boo to no sign of Heylia or Conrad in this episode. "Yay!" to the possibility of seeing Celia Hodes getting her Bad Girls prison vibe on; boo to the Botwin clan relocating to nowhere near Agrestic. OK, this last one may be the deepest cut of all. When will Nancy and Celia share screen time together again? I doth protest at this unfortunate turn of events! Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s only episode one, right? Right?

The opening sequence was rather cool. As the theme song “Tiny Boxes” played we see that the usual images of the suburban town are all smoky and the exterior shots show the huge fire blazing in the background threatening the homes and businesses of Agrestic. It was a nice visual touch to remind us just how last season ended and why the theme song is no longer relevant. Sad.

The episode, "Mother Thinks the Birds are After Her," picks up where last season’s finale left off. Nancy Botwin and her family drug-dealing cartel are at a park eating unhealthy snacks: aimless, homeless and on the lam.

Pigeons circle overhead randomly dropping what I’m assuming to be their own form of personal criticism directed at Nancy and her choices recently. It gets so bad that Nancy actually thinks one of their criticisms has landed in her hair. Ewwww.

As the Botwins hang out, doing absolutely nothing, it becomes clear that Nancy, who still smells like gasoline from torching her own house, really doesn’t have much of a plan in place and that she’s winging all this. Thinking it up on the fly. Sort of like those birds.

Back in Agrestic – oh wait it’s called Majestic as of last season – a slimy DEA agent wants answers from Celia about the marijuana grow-house she owned. Apparently he also wants her in other ways as he overtly sexually harasses her much to Celia’s disgust as well as mine.

Under questioning, Celia, without an ounce of guilt or hesitation tells the agent Nancy’s name and I.D.’s Nancy as the ring leader. Celia insists that she was completely unaware of what Nancy was using the house for. She also ratted out Heylia, Conrad and Sanjay. She was chirping away every name and detail of the operation she could think of when I finally got it! Celia - stool pigeon - episode title. Clever.

Back at the Park of Aimlessness, Nancy finally admits to her family that she purposely burned the house down. Perspective has gotten so skewed for the Botwins that everyone looked at her like she was nuts then went right along with her next plan anyway, with little to no protest.

Nancy’s epiphany is to head down the coast to Bubbie’s. Bubbie is the Jewish grandmother of Andy and Judah (Nancy’s deceased husband). Yes, in a time of crisis, go to grandma’s. What a great idea! Except Silas (Nancy’s oldest son) reminds Nancy that Bubbie hates her. This seems to be the least of Nancy’s worries so off the Botwins go to the beach community of Ren Mar.

By now the federal agents have rounded up Doug, Dean and Sanjay for questioning. (Great, three more “stoolies.”) As usual Doug and Dean are as stoned as a rock quarry and pretty useless. Good thing Isabelle was there at the station with them. Leave it to a lesbian, even a 13-year-old lesbian, to take control over a situation involving a group of dimwitted guys.

While waiting to be questioned, Isabelle convinces Larry, Moe and Curly that the Feds really do not want them but want whoever is in charge. That spells doom for Nancy, right? Well, no. One by one each guy tells the Feds that Celia was in fact the one in charge! Ouch. (Word of advice to Celia, this is what happens when you direct so much bitchiness to those around you, especially your young lesbian daughter, but also your idiot ex-lover and your wheel chair bound ex-husband.) Karma, the cosmic bounty hunter. So, I wonder how long will Celia stay in custody now?

When the Botwins arrive at Bubbie’s, they discover that she’s attached to what looks like a life support system. I don’t think one can have an actual in-home life support system though, but whatever you call it, Bubbie’s bed is in the living room and she’s hooked up to gadgets and not looking so great.

Lenny Botwin (Albert Brooks), the estranged and surly (grand)father(-in-law), walks in the house and you would swear he’s surrounded by unwanted and unexpected company. Oh, right he is! He dislikes Nancy not just because she’s not Jewish but also because she’s Not Francie the girl he wanted Judah to marry. He dislikes Andy because he’s Not Judah the most exalted son. Lenny can really hold a grudge. Not Francie and Not Judah as Lenny calls them respectively are going to have a tough time living with Lenny and I can’t wait to see just how tough. It seems as though Lenny is going to be Not Grandpa Walton to Botwin boys while they stay there in Ren Mar. Oy.

Ultimately we see Nancy standing at the U.S. – Mexican border with Guillermo. Guillermo’s the guy that set Majestic on fire as a favor to Nancy. Nancy notices yet more birds circling around the area as she contemplates working with Guillermo. He’s offering Nancy a bright future with his group that runs various drugs across the U.S border. Literally. As he and Nancy spoke several of his guys came running out of nowhere with big duffle bags and hopped into the back of his truck!

What is Nancy doing? Is this a career path? From a suburban widow peddling dime bags of marijuana trying to make ends meet to now engaging in drug trafficking? Not only is Nancy Not Francie I hope Nancy is Not Scarface either.