 by Reese DoWittColumns
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Are you more of a Portia or Sheryl Swoopes kind of girl?The other day I bumped into a friend of mine from high school whom I had not seen since she wrote the letters “K.I.T.” in my yearbook. After our awkward hug hello, the immediate question to follow was, “So what have you been up to?” In the course of 10 minutes standing on a busy street corner, we summed up our lives, CliffsNotes style. She immediately tells me she is married with kids, and she is working at some law firm with three last names that I couldn’t possibly ever recall. The conversation then turns to me, and I have the always-awesome task of coming out — again. I tell my former classmate where I am working and that I am now living with my girlfriend of three years. I then wait for an awkward and befuddled face, and on cue, it arrives. After the momentary shock settles in, she becomes more intrigued than anything, and thus more conversation ensues: “How’d you meet her?” “I thought you might be gay in high school!" “Did you like anyone in our grade?” And then the dialogue I wasn’t expecting: Former classmate: What kind of lesbian is your girlfriend?
While I could understand the curiosity surrounding her questions, I found it remarkable that she asked them. I mean, she told me she was married, and I didn’t launch into a litany of male celebrities: “So what’s your husband like? Is he a sloppy-sweatshirt-wearing kind of guy like Adam Sandler? Is he a baldy like Bruce Willis? Or does he have a full head like that McDreamy fellow?”
I guess as much as I was shocked by her candor, I couldn’t be offended by what she asked me because I admittedly have asked those sorts of questions of my own friends. How many times have you had to describe your ideal woman to someone using words like femme, butch, boi, androgynous, chapstick, lipstick or sporty? Perhaps now, in place of those terms, it is easier just to use celebrity equivalents. So instead of saying something like, “I am attracted to femmes who are a little sporty,” you could say, “I’m looking for a Bette Porter with a splash of Dana." There you have a perfect visual and you know who you are getting. (And good for you, I might add.) I know some of you may be getting mad at me and want to remind me that we are all individuals and very unique and shouldn’t succumb to any pigeonholes or stereotypes — and I totally agree with you. I understand that no one wants to be put in a box (they are cramped and often uncomfortable), but boxes can aid in describing the general style a person has, which is helpful in the art of attraction. You aren’t defined by this box; you are just painting a broad-spectrum image of yourself. Given that some people (like my former classmate) wouldn’t know who Dana or Bette are, but would know who Ellen is, I was curious if any of you could describe yourself to someone using an out lesbian celebrity. Let’s put it to the test. Which of these celesbians best describe you and your style? Ellen DeGeneres: You hate wearing dresses, but you love a cool pantsuit paired with your favorite and most comfortable pair of shoes. (Comfy footwear is key.)
Portia de Rossi: You wear makeup almost every day of the week and wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without your hair done. You love feeling pretty because, gosh darn it, you are.
Jackie Warner: You work out and you want people to know it. You add a sporty edge to glamour, and you proudly admit to having more product in your hair than Ryan Seacrest.
Daniela Sea: This shirt may be made for a guy, but you look 10 times better in it than any dude does. You pull off androgyny with sexiness and style.
Tegan or Sara: Music drives your life and your clothes. Beat-up concert tees, Converse sneakers and asymmetrical haircuts keep you on the cutting edge.
Rachel Maddow: You prefer a classic, low-maintenance look because you have natural beauty and intelligence. You are perfect as-is; too much more would ruin it.
Sheryl Swoopes: You love a good game of anything. Athleticism is your thing. By day you work hard in your sweats, but by night you definitely know how to glam it up when you are off the court.
Missy Higgins: Mix your favorite pair of jeans with an array of cute tank tops, and you are good to go. Your style is simple, but trendy. You would rather spend your time healing mother Earth and eliminating your carbon footprint than shopping in any mall.
Do any of these women or any combo of these women represent you? Do any celebrity lesbians that aren’t on the list? I’ll get the ball rolling: I would say I am a Missy Higgins with a touch of Tegan and a sprinkle of Sara. Now it’s your turn. Submitted by on October 1, 2008 - 5:00pm. |
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Portia+Missy
Great post!
Can't believe how blunt your former classmate was! You're right - it's totally a double standard, but one that I would get more offended by if a straight person asked than a gay person. But that's probably just because a gay person would have a better vocabulary to ask for your "type" rather than Portia, k.d., etc.
I think it would have been fun to add Leisha Hailey to the scale as well. Of course it'd be hard to separate her from the Alice character!
I would say I am Portia with a dash of Missy. My girlfriend is definitely a Rachel Maddow. :-)
Great post!
Ha! I absolutely loved this. So funny about what your classmate asked you. You can't get mad when someone does that...it's obvious that she was simply trying to understand you/where you're coming from, you know? I mean, at least she's trying.
As for me, I'd say mostly Ellen and Missy, but with a splash of Daniela.
True, true, true.
True, true, true.
dbl post. (no one needs that)
I would maybe go in another
I think I'm a mixture of
I think I'm a mixture of both Tegan and Missy with a little Daniela Sea on top.
)()()()()(
"Great. Not only do I feel creepy but now I look like I'm 1,000 and that I've been smoking meth all my life." -Sara Quin
I'd say I'm a k.d. lang
I'd say I'm a Portia with a
hmmm
im going to go with:
a little buffy (im slightly egotistical and like to think im always right), some spike (hard on the outside, total gooey romatic at heart) with a dash of faith (i like more than a little snark) and unfortunately a heaping spoonful of dawn (im peppy, outgoing, and totally oblivious).
or,,, im some blair (candy coated outside, cold inner layer, mushy core. brown hair.), a little too much chuck (ive been accused of having no emotions before) and probably a whole lotta rufus (i smile a lot, and like being parental.)
oh wait, were these supposed to be gay? and real people?? whoops! but this is so much more fun!
mostly dana. with somewhat of a bette ambition. some alice foot-in-mouthness.
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oh gossipgirl! www.rightmindleftcoast.wordpress.com
Total Missy!
Thank god she was at the end, because I was starting to think there was nothing to describe me. That's just basically me. I'm all for confort but still trying to look a little hip. Don't really like shopping though, or more: hate it. And am perfectly fine without make-up, although I do wear it to school and work, just because I don't want to scare people. But always the natural look.Maybe a little Ellen in there because my motto is: shoes have to be comfortable! And I never do my hair, don't know to which of these ladies that one belongs, it just falls naturally. (I have easy hair)
So that's me!
http://www.youtube.com/BetweenThaLines
I'm part Daniela Sea, part
I'm part Daniela Sea, part Tegan & Sara. But the shoe thing... when you have big - size 12 - feet like me, the need for comfy footwear is paramount. (Holla at me big-footed sistas!) I love me a good pair of sneakers, and if I have to buy them in a mens size, I do.
~Can't everything be like before when it overcomes me?~
Size 13 feet
Size 13 feet here!!
Luckilly I've found some mail order stores for MTF...they carry some amazing shoes in large sizes!!!
Argh
Nice post, it really is. Reese's perplexity about her friend's question is the same as mine, infact.
Anyway...I'm for combos...definitely...
If I really have to choose from these ladies, well I'd say I'm Ellen (Hate dresses ) \ Portia (I wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without my hair done) \ T&S (Converse..., they rule...) \Missy.
Alex made me think about tv shows and movies characters..
Well I'd say I'm mostly like Allegra from Puccini for beginners :)
Iam deff a mixture of
Hmm...
I'm a Jackie Warner-wannabe (the sporty, not the hair-product), but I'm really more Ellen/Rachel Maddow-esque, with a side of 90s tomboy left-overs.
And I would be so much more likely to ask someone what kind of a woman a person is than a man, because I find women to be infinitely more interesting and exciting. With the exception of a few boy friends the male population of the world look pretty much the same to me. (And the feminist in me would be horribly offended if a man said this about women, but I guess if a gay man said it that would be fine...) But I can't help it! They all look the same!
Ahh the amazing mish-mash!
I'm an Irish combo of Ellen (without the cash) and Sheryl (except not as talented or tall!)
Check out http://www.mustardonthehedge.com
After Ellen makes me wonder sometimes...
Why aren't there more women of color on this list? Is Sheryl Swoopes really the only black woman that you were able to find? What about Asian women? Latinas?
You're right
my style...
is about half and half Tegan and Daniela....
wow, my style is lot sexier than I am ;-)
let's throw in a little jodie foster
Strong and grounded, you're confident but low profile. You feel as comfortable glamming it up in a sexy halter dress as you do in an outfit that could have been personally picked out by Daniela Sea (see The Brave One pictures for what I mean)--and you look hot in either one. Whatever outward appearance you may have, your strength, brain and inner beauty always shine through.
As for me, I'm going to ditto a bunch of the comments on this post: Missy with a little bit of Portia--I like simple outfits, but I'm occasionally obsessed with hair and makeup. I really love Portia's style, tho--pretty much everything she wears.
______________________________________________________________
Bridget: Are you really crying because you're not lesbians in real life? Is that why you cry?
Eden Riegel: Well, wouldn't that make you cry?
head to toe
Hair: Portia deRossi's (well, bad-hair-day-Portia hair lol)
Humor: Julie Goldman.
Emotion: Tegan Quin.
Style: Ellen.
... and I have Angelina Jolie's ability to not care ;l
another eclectic style here
Haha I'm loving the Jodie Foster and Agyness Deyn. But to keep it to the former options, I'd say I'm:
Missy for the simple jeans and shirt
Sheryl 'cause heck I play sports and walk around in sweats a lot, but get glam when I need to ;)
Tegan for the Con (he!) = con-cert and con-verse vibe
And a little Daniela on those feeling-really-gay days
Missy + Portia
hmmm
guess I'm a mix of Ellen and Tegan/Sara. I think I'm totally Ellen other than the pantsuits... :P
and give me a Bette Porter with a bit of Dana any day ;)
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THE UNOFFICIAL JILL BENNETT FANCLUB WEBPAGE
http://www.freewebs.com/ujbfc
I'd have to say
I'm...
Mostly Ellen, with some Tegan and small bit of Missy Higgins.
http://renthead.wordpress.com/
me Portia/Missy it makes
me Portia/Missy
it makes sense that she asked because lesbians are often less girly than straight women but might not be as you showed the difference between Portia and Daniella with Missy in between i think she probably just was trying to imagine your girlfriend whereas imaging her husband obviously men do vary but straight men generally seem to have a less broad range in respects of .. can't explain but like how far they vary from their gender's sterotype if that makes sense?
more Ellen
Well, i am like Ellen, don't do the dress or skirt, give me a nice pair of pants and nice low shoes ot tennis i am good to go
life, live, love
Ellen, Daniela and sheryl
I can be like Daniela Sea, mix some Ellen in there and of cost Sheryl Swoopes at times, with these combination you will get the whole me
life, live, love
Portia wearing Converse
Portia wearing Converse shoes... lol
(or should I say Portia dressed like Missy Higgins?)
Yeah, pretty much that.
www.myspace.com/carolconti
i don't see any sort of
i don't see any sort of "general" style or combination that describes me.
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~i am bisexual. you are confused.~
Come With Me (if you want to live) the forum: http://www.afterellen.com/node/31891
&
Just call me Ellen Swoopes
never ever wear dresses/skirts .. love pantsuits & i have a million pairs of sneakers and will wear them with anything .. however i do enjoy dressing up & accessorizing from time to time .. but no dresses/skirts allowed!!
:)
Cool Topic: My Style and Looks
www.myspace.com/lunakiss7
I am twist of Portia and Misy Higgins. Depending on my mood throughout the moment, I love looking good when I wanna and I'll "dress up," but at other times I'm pretty earthy and humble so I'll dress down.
Yes, I am complicated.
Hmmm
Well I don't wear dresses and/or skirts, I own lots of pantsuits and jeans (Ellen), play sports (Sheryl), love to exercise/workout and don't mind showing it off at times (Jackie).
My look...
Of the obove? I guess
Of the above? I guess Daniela Sea crossed with the Max character she played. My current look (if you call it that) is carpenter pants, shaved head, and t-shirts (chest bound.) Ooh, found a reference! God/dess of God/dess and She.
NSFW music video for one of their new songs.
-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEkvrDNz-uw
I like girls who look like Brad Pitt and boys who look like Johny Depp. I never get them though!
ahahahaah
ahahaha! i love this! i'd say that i am a sara, with just a splash of tegan and the zest of a missy higgins.
fantastic. :D
Janet: Everybody's talking about it.
Amy: About what?
Janet: How you met Lucy and lived to tell about it. They're calling you a hero, when really you're a slut.
Amy: You shut up
Janet: A gay slut.
Ellen/Rachel Maddow by day
Jackie Warner by night. I am low maintenence, pant suit type of girl when I play professor, but I usually hit the gyms afterwards and live for tanks for show the arms.
I guess I could be Bette..she does both, huh? less the make up and poofy blouses :).
Sara Ramirez (Callie) + Ellen
I was going to put Juile Goldman but I figured I should be more creative than that. So, in turn, I think Im a mix of Sara Ramirez's Callie, Ellen and maybe a bit of Tegan for good measure. Latin girl with a love of band tees, jeans and nice shoes. Ha!
Rachel Maddow
A dash of that, and a pinch of that!
Hmmm ...
If I couild come up with my own recipe of the perfect woman for me, she'd be made of 75 percent Lucy Lawless (great looks, top shelf brains, wonderful sense of humor, a great dose of hutzpah, charisma, along with being a natural born top) with about 25 percent Gro Hammerseng thrown in (who also is great looking, gay, super sexy, athletic, has a cheerful personality, is incredibly affectionate and loving, humble, highly charismatic and a born leader.)
Awkward Femme.
That's kind of like being introduced as: "Oh, this is kate, my gay friend." I would never introduce a straight friend with a sexuality modifying adjective, but whatev.
anyway.
I would say I am definitely a Missy Higgins mixed with a little Allegra from Puccinni for Beginners. I love me some simple tops (mainly white v-neck cotton tshirts) with a little trendy flair added-- usually a scarf or bandana of some kind. But with a structured jacket a la Allegra. And we're both writers. and dark, cynical, sarcastic women.
I'm a bit of what I like to call an "awkward femme." awesome.
Feels like i've been run over in traffic...
sooo andro
I'm a Daniela Sea kind of queer lady. I have a hint of Missy Higgins in my attitude, but the Daniela Sea is almost overpowering. I'm so andro i'd probably confuse David Bowie.
Great, now all i can think of is Missy Higgin's sexy voice and how i'd die happy if i could nab a girl who can sing like her.
ha!
"so andro I'd confuse david bowie"...
nice
ha!
"so andro I'd confuse david bowie"...
nice
i think..
i'm a cross between rachel maddow and ellen...but that's only me.
hello stranger...
I'm probably Tegan and Sara
I'm probably Tegan and Sara with a dash of Ellen, if only for the shoes. I am so jealous of Ellen's shoe collection.
Diff'rent Strokes with Jade & Dave
www.diffrentstrokesradio.blogspot.com
I'd have to say I'm a mix
I'd have to say I'm a mix of Daniela and Rachel and/or Ellen. Concervative but comfortable during the day at work, but night and weekends I'm all about wearing what I want. Abouit half my wardrobe came from the mens department, but darn if I dont look good in those dude's duds. My girlfriend seems to like it so...whatever works.
"Nothing is impossible and there is no such thing as a lost cause"
I'm probably a Leisha
I'm probably a Leisha Hailey not so much Alice but Leisha in real life....I feel i kinda have the rockish femme look she has....my daily style is mostly any type of Converse, jeans, and a t-shirt but at the same time i can get all prettied up with a dressy top, and earrings but the jeans stay lol
ditto. I second that for