by ccpuff

Video Blogs

9021-LESBO

If you were alive in the 1990s, then you are aware of the ever-popular show Beverly Hills, 90210, about trendy high schoolers from the chic Beverly Hills zip code who never seemed to graduate. OK, they did graduate, but it took a really long time.

The CW network owns the rights to create a new version of the 90210 series, but the project still hasn't been greenlit. I'm not sure why they're delaying this brilliant piece of magic.

As an avid fan of the original show, I sat in my bedroom at night and pictured myself as the cool, rebellious Luke Perry, aka Dylan McKay (what a fabulous and truly believable character name), but now in retrospect I was really Nat from the Peach Pit. Beverly Hills, 90210 changed me, as it changed so many other teens wearing hypercolor shirts and MC Hammer pants.

Although there is no replacing the lovely and extremely talented Tori Spelling, I have decided I want to do my own casting for the lesbian version of 90210, and it would go something like this:

Brandon Walsh, played by Ellen Degeneres

This is an obvious choice but had to be made. Ellen is the perfect twin protagonist to lead this pack of cliquey lesbians.

Brenda Walsh played by Jill Bennett

The other twin protagonist/scene-stealer with a dark streak can only be played by our very own AE hottie Jill Bennett.

Dylan McKay played by Kate Moennig

Duh! Of course the hunk of burning love has to be played by the mac daddy player herself, Shane from The L Word. Moennig should have been cast instead of Luke Perry in the first place!

Kelly Taylor played by Portia de Rossi

Once again, sorry to be so dang obvious. The lovely and coolest girl at Beverly Hills High School can only be played by the other Mrs. Degeneres.

David Silver played by DJ Samantha Ronson

Samantha is too cool to play David Silver since she really has DJ skills, but then again she is "friends" with Lindsay Lohan.

Donna Martin played by Tammy Lynn Etheridge

Tori Spelling, we hate to let you go, but it's time to move on. We all know you didn't get cast because you are the daughter of producer Aaron Spelling; you were cast on your talent alone. If you think I'm being sarcastic, then you haven't Tori's brilliance in the film Trick. So to replace brilliance we need more brilliance — that's why I've cast the charming Mrs. Etheridge in the role to steal our hearts and remind us what school spirit is all about. Chant with me now: "Donna Martin Graduates! Donna Martin Graduates!"

Steve Sanders played by Top Chef competitor Josie Smith-Malave

In my opinion (which is all that's important since I'm the one writing this blog post), Ian Ziering was never hot enough to date golden princess Kelly Taylor, so I've asked Josie to step in and use her culinary skills to spice up the role of Steve.

Andrea Zuckerman played by Scooby-Doo's Velma

Last and definitely least is elderly, librarianesque Andrea Zuckerman. (Why did the cool kids hang out with her again?) Both Andrea and Velma are brainiacs, and it only make sense to cast a cartoon in the role of Andrea since less makeup will be needed on a cartoon. I'm not an ageist, I'm just calling it like it is. Andrea was pushing 40 and in high school, people! Her desire for teen-hunk Brandon Walsh didn't make her a cougar, it made her a pedophile!

Now if only this version of 90210 would get made ...

Mollie Mullett's blog

Submitted by

Mollie Mullett

on April 18, 2008 - 9:00am.

TAGS ::

haha - i'd tune in!

Submitted by

hinterguxli_CH (47 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:02am.

hilarious idea!

boy, i'm getting oooold....

... singin' 'rudolph, the red nosed reindeer'!

I Severly Wish So...

Submitted by

Crank Heart (140 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:07am.

Oh, the drama! I think that casting is my new favorite fantasy cast of a show ever.

---------------
3waytv.tv Go now, go often.

Lesberly Hills 90210

Submitted by

Explorergal (389 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:21am.

Perfect casting especially Jill as Brenda.

Anyone notice a resemblance between Josie and America Ferrara?

LMAO

Submitted by

LezzyMichie87 (46 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 2:45pm.

I noticed that as well! XD

I would so watch it

Submitted by

Blauermontag (45 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:32am.

... and suddenly have the urge to buy myself a denim shirt in honour of Brandon & Co.

Lez it up!

Submitted by

JessFojo (13 posts)

on April 19, 2008 - 9:12pm.

I think I own a denim shirt, I'm sure it's at the back of my wardrobe somewhere. How wrong lol!

Lesbian Tees & Gifts - wearables with a lesbian flavour

My bad sense of humour

Submitted by

IfOnly (180 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:38am.

"Her desire for teen-hunk Brandon Walsh didn't make her a cougar, it made her a pedophile!" AHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm sooo sorry but if it's ok to write it, it's ok for me to laugh at it. I'm still laughing. That made me snort when I laughed! And I still am!

Excellent choices...

Submitted by

frosted_fraggle (45 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 9:55am.

... especially Tammy Lynn Etheridge as Donna. Mainly because I'm dying to see her work again. And this would be like seeing the softer side of Nichole Julian. But I guess it would also make me miss the glorious bitchiness that made me love to hate her in 'Popular'.

I'd definately watch, though Ellen's 'Brandon' would be at least as out of place agewise as Andrea was.

Hey!!! As a librarian

Submitted by

katmahasti1 (1 post)

on April 18, 2008 - 10:02am.

I definitely do not resemble that remark! But not everyone can be as smack-down delish as this aging hawker of information!

Although I must admit the pedophile comment was made me laugh out loud.

Web series.

Submitted by

Pyewacket (578 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 10:04am.

Actually, I have been waiting for some time now for a lesbian version of 90210 or Melrose Place to hit the web. Or maybe it has been more like hoping and praying. lol

Totally.....

Submitted by

Stephanie (26 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 10:25am.

.....would watch it! I loved that show so the lesbian version would be WAY better!!

Also, that's for reminding me of hypercolor t-shirts! I forgot all about those.....but I SO had one! :o)

Hypercolor t-shirts totally

Submitted by

hmmm (114 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 11:34pm.

Hypercolor t-shirts totally rocked. I had at least one shirt and an awesome sweatshirt where a skateboarder appeared.

oooh Portia as Kelly

Submitted by

sydneyB (116 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 10:47am.

oooh Portia as Kelly Taylor--That's a good one. I can see it now...

And while I can totally see Jill kicking ass as Brenda, I think it would be more interesting to see her as Donna. She usually plays such bad asses and I would be curious to watch her play a more vunerable character.

And I think we should make the actress who plays Kima on the Wire play Andrea--just to diversify the cast a little...

Oh this would make an awesome web series! Maybe it could be the next After Ellen creation...

funny

Submitted by

Jennifer (11 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 10:58am.

awsome jejejejejj so funny this about torri spelling and Samantha Ronson ajajajaj

This is

Submitted by

jeeo (38 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 12:16pm.

entirely the most brilliant fantasy casting I've ever seen. You rock <3

As lesbo look alikes go

Submitted by

Orla (10 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 12:34pm.

As lesbo look alikes go your on the ball - as for the show I only saw some reruns as I was in bording school and the lovely nun's were not in favour of such shows, but from the other comments you seem to have coined it!

Later!

Jill on top

Submitted by

Smagninborg (20 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 12:35pm.

"...played by our very own AE hottie Jill Bennett."

How damn right you are! Great laugh at that sentence. Jill's the one and only :o)

TRICK

Submitted by

incognegro (64 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 12:55pm.

As much as I wanted to hate her in that movie (c'mon...tori spelling, really?), she was effing hilarious and she really was perfect in that role. If you haven't seen it, netflix it now. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Great post! I would sooo watch a lesbonic 90210 =)

~Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.

— Richard Bach~

I'd definitely watch the

Submitted by

sweetdebie (95 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 1:23pm.

I'd definitely watch the lesbo 90210, especially with Jill in it ^^

I'm so tired of the re-runs of Beverly Hills every morning, it sucks

I've never seen the show (I

Submitted by

Caroline (49 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 2:14pm.

I've never seen the show (I don't think it airs over here) so I can't quite appreciate the comparisons, but this version still looks great! I'd watch it!

Hellz yeah!

Submitted by

jordan-writes (40 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 2:42pm.

Perfect list Miss Mullett! I'm totally digging the whole Velma addition. That would be mad hot.

I agree!

Submitted by

lezgirllover (224 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 4:11pm.

And this I would actually watch. Good eye for casting such a wonderful group of lesbians!

BRAVO!!!

Submitted by

Leibug (1690 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 5:35pm.

Your eye for casting the perfect lesbians for this project is down right eery!! *sniggers* I'd watch it...but, I always was such a sucker for 90210 (and of course Twin Peaks). I think you should keep Andrea as THE librarian on the show. After all her recent pain and suffering (poor Andrea *sighs* could you personally show me the way to the government documents in the basement?) LMAO!

awesome cast!!

Submitted by

Batman (260 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 6:29pm.

That cast sounds amazing. I remember my mom letting me watch 90210 with her when I was a~~n infant~~ child. Loved that show.

Too funny

Submitted by

unsure_canadian (63 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 7:19pm.

The likeness is scary - LOL!! Especially Andrea and Velma. It's almost like they were separated at birth.

Sounds good.

Submitted by

playthemusic814 (148 posts)

on April 18, 2008 - 7:34pm.

I just want to watch Jill slap people because "angry is sexy"...

Great casting all around.

~It means pride.~

Who would believe they're high school teens ?

Submitted by

Joss (9 posts)

on April 19, 2008 - 8:19am.

I definitely wouldn't...I think they should at least be promoted to the university senior year :D Hehehehehe... it is more credible! Great cast though. I recommend to cast a role for the lovely/hateful Mia Kirschner (aKa Jenny Schecter) too!