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Home » Blogs » Malinda Lo's blog » The Lo-Down: "Dating - Part 6"

The Lo-Down: "Dating - Part 6"

by
Malinda Lo

In this episode, Sarah P. and I bring up the subject that I know you all want to talk about: sex.

But I have to warn you right away that our vlog is not as exciting as you might wish, since we don't actually delve into any, er, technical details. What we do discuss are the emotional ramifications of sex in the context of dating, because hey, we're lesbians and we love to process everything!

We also make a suggestion about what to do the morning after. You may disagree with us. What do you think?

Watch previous episodes of The Lo-Down, visit Malinda Lo at www.malindalo.com, and follow them on Twitter at twitter.com/malindalo and twitter.com/specsperspec.

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    • Submitted by
    Malinda Lo
    on September 30, 2009 - 11:00am.
    TAGS :: 
    *Kiki*'s picture

    Write a book ladies, this is

    Submitted by
    *Kiki* (148 posts)
    on September 30, 2009 - 12:25pm.

    Write a book ladies, this is good stuff

    _________ 

    vivono nella speranza

    Vidabella's picture

    Hey!  I disagree with

    Submitted by
    Vidabella (194 posts)
    on September 30, 2009 - 12:58pm.

    Hey!  I disagree with leavingif you're both really into each other and you've waited 7-8 dates in he courtship to havesex-esp.if its a friday night or weekend-I'drather spend the night with them and wake up with them.  =)

     

    anyone disagree??

     

    -------------------------------------------------

    http://fromnottohot.wordpress.com/

    rainbow_flowers's picture

    i agree with you on that

    Submitted by
    rainbow_flowers (41 posts)
    on September 30, 2009 - 3:27pm.
    ye i wouldnt leave or want them to leave, i would say to only leave or them to leave if its a one night stand
    Saradove's picture

    You both have good heads on your shoulders

    Submitted by
    Saradove (21 posts)
    on September 30, 2009 - 5:22pm.

    I agree ... you two should write a book on lesbian dating .. so clear-headed, practical & right.  And the title ... "Be Nice"  

    Thanks! 

    Nixe's picture

    lo down dating guide

    Submitted by
    Nixe (39 posts)
    on September 30, 2009 - 8:00pm.

    i agree too, write the book. please

    many moments of awkwardness and intolerance could have been avoided and many more great times could have been had if your advice been available to me and people i dated. the etiquette you talk about and being nice are not universal.

    thanks malinda and sarah!

    kreigen's picture

    Thanks for another useful

    Submitted by
    kreigen (294 posts)
    on October 2, 2009 - 4:39am.

    Thanks for another useful episode - I don't know where I stand on the 'staying over' thing, part of me would prefer it if I was left alone to think it through - I think you're right in saying that is a sensible option so neither of the two people gets freaked out about sleeping in the same bed as another who you're only just getting to know.

    But then again if they do stay I kind of feel that might re-assure you that they are comfortable with you and haven't been scared off by the sex.

    Hmmmm....

    It's certainly one of life's great questions :P hehe.

    The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes, but don't be afraid...

    Brutal_Romance's picture

    staying over

    Submitted by
    Brutal_Romance (384 posts)
    on October 8, 2009 - 7:05pm.

    The staying over thing was new to me, I never really thought about it cuz everytime I dated someone, they usually lived with their (family, roomies) someone...so It was kinda awkward to have the stay-in.

     But interesting point...

    and man, I HATED the whole, who-initiates-what, I just literarly switched off my brain and went for it. It never firebacked, thankgod!

    thanks guys for another great vlog! 

    skysenshi's picture

    on waiting

    Submitted by
    skysenshi (2 posts)
    on October 9, 2009 - 6:07pm.

    Three years of sexual tension, I think, makes for an explosive first time. Not that we waited because we wanted to. We were sort of like, forced to wait, because I didn't know I was a lesbian at that time and we didn't know we were attracted to each other (thinking that our feelings were one-sided).  Yeah, I know, in some parts of Asia, we are conservative about our feelings that way and it's just so hard to tell.

    As for staying over...I suppose it would be okay if you've already known the person for so long before you started having sex.


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