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We're Getting Nowhere: "America's Next Top Model" Episode 9.11

We're getting down to it now; we're in the home stretch of this season of America's Next Top Model. And if it weren't for the boredom factor of the last few episodes, the suspense would be killing us!

This week, we were missing our girl Jill Bennett (who is shooting a movie), so we invited another gorgeous, funny lesbian, comedian Bridget McManus, to fill in for her. Bridget is like that substitute teacher you had planned to harass and whose life you were going to make a living hell (just because you can), until you walked into the classroom, looked her up and down, said, "Vavoom!" and decided instead to give her the eye and a big, shiny apple. Or a big, shiny apple martini. Whatever works for you.

And did I mention that Bridget can totally rock a monocle?

Anyway, Bridget shared the sofa with me and Dara this week, bearing witness to (the cringe-fest of) the traditional ANTM go-sees, Bianca finally shutting up and just winning a challenge, and Jenah pissing off Tyra.

In addition, Bridget arrived with a slew of wigs (is she perfect for us or what?!) and an open mind, which you all know is a dangerous combination in the We're Getting Nowhere world. Behold her brilliance in not one but two reenactments!

In addition to the pitfalls of international go-sees, this week we discuss:

  • What Jenah and Amy Winehouse have in common
  • Which of the Top Model contestants is the biggest ass-kisser ("the biggest kisser of asses" is probably a better way to say that)
  • Why we will never stop loving Heather

The "lost" Top Model contestants stood us up this week because they were, well, lost. Rumor has it that on the way to their go-sees, they asked Heather for directions. We think they will have found their way back to the hotel by the season finale.

Finally, WGN is on hiatus next week, but will return the following week and encompass two weeks' worth of ANTM escapades!

America's Next Top Model Video Blog: Episode 9.11


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  • 1charlie's picture

    "without writers... there ain't nothing! "

    That was awesome!!! Bridget is hilarious!!!
    i loved the Heather re-enactment.....it was like a scene from family guy, when a sketch runs for so long it has you in hysterics...
    Bridget running round the fountain! "white Devil" Then Bridget 'Heather' on the treadmill LMFAO!

    i had to watch it three times...once for Dara, once for Karman, and once for Bridget. You are all so funny, i couldn't keep up with the jokes and quips!

    Damn Veoh for the 30min limit! i could easily watch an hour of WGN.  aww, no Vlog next week :( hope everything's alright at home Karman.
    Woohoo for the L word!!!    p.s i miss Jill 

    Moridin's picture

    substitute

    I wish I had a substitute teacher like that, they were all old bald men (they were even all the same man, I grew up in a very small place)
    bigfun's picture

    Bridget is gorgeous.

    Bridget is gorgeous. More.Bridget.naked. I laughed so hard when she said her mom doesn't have eyes, probably my favourite joke on this vblog.

    That said I REALLY, REALLY:

    miss Jill

    miss her apartment( she has such a great apartment, I always look at her paintings, photos up at the wall)

    miss her girlfriend( even though she never appear on the vblog, it's great that she's there, she's such a beautiful, cool girl)

    and

    miss her cats!!

     

    chefgirl's picture

    white devil!!

    that had me laughing so hard i had to pause the vlog! bridget and dara's re-enactments were HILARIOUS!

    but...i still miss jill :(

    and no vlog next week? say it ain't so...oh, the horror! (especially considering what happened last night)

    travel safely, karman, and i hope your mom is ok!!!

     

    fee's picture

    So.Much.Joy

    Bridget was so hilarious in the reenactments...and she looks great with her hair down (not that she doesn't look great with chopsticks all over the place...but I'm just saying =P)
    Also, is it just me or is Dara getting cuter every week? =D
    & Yes, Karman, you are a writer 8)! <3

    Anyway...I was SO bummed out that Heather had to leave! Now there isn't anyone left for me to like. Chantal isn't so bad though. She is the only one who wasn't (openly) making fun of Heather all the time, so. And I like her Southern accent.

    And OMG L-WORD VLOGS! =D 
    I LOVE you guys!
    (What else is new...=D)



    "Bad juju? Is that a voodoo-thing?"
    "Close...but with a 'j'." 
    - Malinda Lo & Sarah Pecora, 'the Lo-down'
    Tara21's picture

    bridget is so hot, my

    bridget is so hot, my goodness...

    no_one80's picture

    Bridget...

    Bridget is hot!  While I miss Jill, Bridget was a great choice to fill in for her.

    Everything about the Heather re-enactment was hilarious.

    I will try my very best to wait patiently for the next vlog, but it will be difficult.

    Looking forward to L Word vlogs. 

     

    www.myspace.com/117502105

    rupture618's picture

    here it goes

    hot, snarky, and off topic... the three reasons i love this vlog.

    i'll admit, jill's absence caused a little pain in my heart, but that was all eased when bridget leaned in for the camera. the last 5 minutes were iceing on the cake.

    karman's lip quivering "angry face" for the psa was fricken funny. dara's infatuation with conjoined twins and people who grow hands out of their skulls was rather fascinating. it makes me wanna see "the terrible three go to white castle" and encounter one of these parasitic persons who then in turn steals the car. damn, that movie would sell.

    alright folks, that's all i got for now.

    chloe121212's picture

    avatar

    Nice pic.  It looks oddly familar though.

    loved the vlog, although still missing Jill.  Bridget was great and loved her reenactment as Heather. 

    "I don't kiss girls who wear doilies"

    Brunette's picture

    White devil! White devil!!

    Dara, lol...Bridget, nice...Karman, like Charlie said, hope all is good back home. :-)

    KATIA's picture

    BRIDGET

    SHE IS SO CUTE!!!SHE ALSO REMINDS ME OF KATHERINE BROOKS THE DIRECTOR.SON TODAS UNAS MAMASITAS!!
    gooby's picture

    I miss Jill, but Bridget...

    I miss Jill, but Bridget... mmmm nice substitute teacher ;)

    Highlarious. I don't actually watch ANTM but these vlogs are fantastic. And this weeks 'sode made the missing of Jill a bit better so thanks a bunch Bridget, for entertaining us!

    Ladyhawk1709's picture

    Hmm...

    ... I miss Jill, but... Bridget was great! And when she was running around the fountain, I swear I cracked a rib! Loved the vlog as usual, but the lack of cats running around was disturbing :P And these things always get me into trouble, I laugh so hard sometimes that people around me tend to look at me like i'm retarded for about a week... Which is a problem I won't have for about a week next week... Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing... Ok, it's bad...

    There should be more removing of things, like chopsticks, or maybe clothes next time too... :P

     Btw: Hope your mum's ok Karman.

     And how great is it that you guys are doing the L word! Love it! It's gonna be awesome!

    boywithmoonandstars's picture

    Prince project *Spoiler alert , If U can't watch, don't read*

    A reference to the Purple Rain movie if I'm not mistaken. What was her name... Appolonia, Apalonia. I do remember the song though. Hail to the sub! Jesus tap dancing Christ I wish I was on the other coast to catch your stand up act. I'm not sure how they do the voting for Cover girl of the week, but I'm guessing it's for the previous weeks show cause Heather won again last night when she was already off the show. It was even better because she was CGOW on the same show Bitchanca got booted. It must have been really frusta ..in.
    funny buisness's picture

    I missed Jill too...

    but Bridget: Welcome on board, I enjoyed your jokes a lot, and you look gorgeous. :) Please make that thing with your hair again next time, very sexy.

    Loved the re-enactments! lol I can't wait for the next vlog, although it's gonna be sooooo long till then.

    Great vlog you guys.

    fb


     

     

    ~'Thanks for nothin'...~

    quemaravilla's picture

    jenah's teeth

    i have been talking about her teeth for awhile now.  i have come to the conclusion that she looks like scrat from ice age.  i only say this because they gave crap to joanie.scrat

     

    when they got rid of my favorites (lisa and heather) this show took a nose dive.

    himbrombeere's picture

    top3

    joanie delivered some of the best picures ever  with or without her teeth being fixed.

    my top3 are:

    joanie

    elyse

    jenah 

     jenah is definately my fav this season.  

    ShannonBrumbaugh's picture

    Too funny

    I don't watch the show but I never miss your recaps. Y'all are great.  Thanks for lightening up my day.

     

    AllegraEcho's picture

    Bridget = HOTNESS!

    Alright, I know the ladies of 'We're Getting Nowhere' think we're all perverts, and I choose to embrace it:

    BRIDGET IS FREAKING HOT! I was so so so pleased. I will be watching this vlog over, and over and over...... She reminds me of someone I have a crush on, so I'm more than a little biased.

    If at all possible: PLEASE BRING BRIDGET BACK! I love Jill, but Bridget was so hilarious and gorgeous! Big crowd favorite, :)

    And we should remind Dara and Karman that we're ALWAYS paying attention to them, I love them completely, they should just flash us as often as Jill does, :)

    p.s. More Bridget, please!

    Daria-esque's picture

    Bridget can marry my

    Bridget can marry my mom...Although she does look like my avatar----->

     

    That's HAWT!

    Twstdtrinity's picture

    Best. SubstituteTeacher. Ever

    Where do you keep finding theses Gems? Oh gosh do did I miss Jillie but boy did Bridget fill in nicely. She's HILARIOUS!! And f**king hot. I laughed the entire way through both the Jenna and Heather reactments. Karman, you and Dara make the perfect little comedy tag team. This Vlog is the greatest.

    I've stopped watching the show due to extreme boredom and contempt for all the girls. I'm so done with reality t.v. 2008 is gonna be reality free.

    Yay to extra long big awesome vlog in 2 weeks. I hope everything is okay with your Mama, Karman. Give us an update when you come back.

    You three were awesome together. Bridget should defiantly join you guys again. With Jillie there too of course.

    Jillie B We Miss You!

     

    A Muse's picture

    great!

    Although I miss Jill on the vlog Bridget was a hilarious substitute teacher. I wish I ever had such a hot n gorgeous substitute teacher while I was in school. speaking of which - where do you guys always find these drop-dead-gorgeous lesbians in LA? LA seems to be like the pot of gold at teh other end of the rainbow (flag). damn, I gotta move......

    ------------------------------------------------------
    THE UNOFFICIAL JILL BENNETT FANCLUB WEBPAGE
    http://www.freewebs.com/ujbfc
    NOW WITH Jill & Jamie Q&A's!!!&

    bigfun's picture

    Sarah can Bridget have her

    Sarah can Bridget have her own video blog on the site? PLEASE? I know that adding another vblog is maybe too much for this site, we don't want to go overboardwith them but PLEASE?

    SHE IS SO FUNNY AND SO HOT,HOT,HOT!!!

    worksforme's picture

    First of all.. I want to

    First of all.. I want to give a big compliment to Bridget, you did a great job filling in for Jill. Karman and Dara.. you two were awesome as always!

    Andddd, I'm so glad we're getting L-word vlogs, I can hardly wait.. New dolls *clapping hands excitedly*

    Now there's only one thing left to say.. I miss you Jill, I hope you are doing well! x

    lesandre's picture

    OMG!

    Bridget was hilarious! and of course karman and dara too, but we already knew that soo... I'm gonna miss you guys next week but I'll look forward to jills return and eventually the l word v-logs. Awesome!
    not without my coffee's picture

    Still laughing...

    ...so I just want to state the obvious: you are truly hillarious!

    And I tip my hat for Bridget, best substitute teacher ever.

    Forsakentale's picture

    We heart Heather

    First of all... Welcome Bridget! You're hot, you're funny, you'll be always welcome here ;D

    Now, for the news...I read a couple interviews with Heather recently (here and here). One of them mentioned the Jenah incident on the go-sees event. Apparently it was against the Top Model rules to give rides, but they kindly forgot to mention it on camera.

    Btw, is just me or they're trying to bitch-up Saleisha and de-bitch Bianca just a little? You know, so we can have someone to cheer for or be sad when they're gone. They have to do this after sending away the last person with feelings on ANTM.

    Anyways, I loved the reenactments! Thank you for this episode guys!

    boywithmoonandstars's picture

    Thanx for the Links!

    Yes we do heart Heather. And wandering Jill would heart her even more than she already did if she read the second interview. Heather saying that when people shout her name in public because they recognize her she is still not used to it and looks around " like a confused Meerkat."
    Forsakentale's picture

    No problem :D She's a

    No problem :D

    She's a nice girl, I just wondered if she's the kind of person who would think Bianca likes her and that whatever mean stuff was said after she was gone was just bad editing.

    Nea's picture

    "I'll buy you a pony."

    "If you're looking for a purpose, you're not gonna find one."

    Oh, Karman, I think we've found the purpose, trust me :)

    Bridget, you're a wonderful substitute teacher - please make yourself available at any given chance (or just get your own damn vlog... I'd pay to watch that).


    Omega II's picture

    Sub day!!

    Bridget- You were great, your quips were got my my face hurting nicely, and you took the edge off Jill being gone. Good work on the research for your part. I'm with KAT, you do look like Katherine Brooks.

    Dara Your snark know no bounds. Loved you angry face, Bridget forgot "angry is sexy".

    Karman- Oh my god, you mean Bad Machine would say something BAD? You took out my side there.

    When SON comes back, are we going to get two vlogs a week, one for SON and one for The L Word? Please? :D

     

    "Bad jokes are us, ur me."

    maureenepe's picture

    Bridget

    I never had any substitute teachers like that!!! 

     

    The Unofficial Bridget McManus fan site forum.

     http://ubmfc.freeforums.org/

     

    bluebl00d's picture

    Heather is gone :(

    Bridget was a superb substitute teacher, and like so many already said, if I had subs like that back when I was in school, my attendance records would be spotless ;)

    Love how Bridget did her homework and included some cleavage shots, those are always enjoyable :p And the whole re-enactment that took place outside Dara's apartment was so damn funny, especially when Bridget was running around that fountain. Speaking of fountain that thing reminded me of Malrose Place's courtyard lol

    Excellent vlog ladies :)

    I too wish tosend all my love and good vibes to Karman's mam, hope all is well :)

    shirleymanson666's picture

    Great vlog

    This vlog was hilarious as always, Bridget you did an excelent job there, so funny and you are super hot!!! :-D

    Miss Jill though

    I cant wait to se the vlogs for the L Word!!!

    Good Girls Go To Heaven...But Bad Girls Go Everywhere

    starbuckismine's picture

    Bridget FREAKIN' ROCKS!!!!

    We need more Bridget. Don't say that this is the last time we will see her on video blogs! She needs her own like yesterday. Lori&Sarah is there any way to make that happen?

    Plus, Bridget is hotter than the sun. The hottest girl ever to appear on AfterEllen.

    I'm single, you can date and cheat on me, I don't care!!

     

    imthey's picture

    Good Job Bridget...

    Although no one can ever "take over" for Jill... I think that Bridget did a very nice job filling in for her.  I certainly must say that (like other posters before me) I too never had a substitute teacher that looked and acted like Bridget... if I had I would have been far more of a learned student.
     
    I'll miss not seeing this vlog next week, but will be anxiously awaiting the double vlog the following week.
     
    I am also very much looking forward to seeing you ladies improve upon The L Word with your L Word vlogs.   

     

    "Think Sideways"

        I M THEY

    JuliaG's picture

    Great!

    You guys found a very good substitute for Jill :D Maybe you should do a vlog with all four of you for the 2-hour finale! That would be so fun to watch!

    Thanks for this, what a lovely way to start my summer! (seasons are the other way around down here)

    ========

    "The opposite of church is sperm!" - Sarah P. - The Lo-Down

    JuliaG's picture

    Great!

    You guys found a very good substitute for Jill :D Maybe you should do a vlog with all four of you for the 2-hour finale! That would be so fun to watch!

    Thanks for this, what a lovely way to start my summer! (seasons are the other way around down here)

    ========

    "The opposite of church is sperm!" - Sarah P. - The Lo-Down

    Emmanescence's picture

    Surprised

    I thought I was going to have to fake-love Bridget, but she's actually awesome enough on her own!  All legit love!  Different from Jill, but hot and funny in her own way.  She's even more wonderful for loving Heather and being as saddened by her departure as I was. 

     Call me: 1-999-999-99999999.  Wink.

    www.myspace.com/emmahuntermusic

    JuliaG's picture

    Great!

    You guys found a very good substitute for Jill :D Maybe you should do a vlog with all four of you for the 2-hour finale! That would be so fun to watch!

    Thanks for this, what a lovely way to start my summer! (seasons are the other way around down here)

    ========

    "The opposite of church is sperm!" - Sarah P. - The Lo-Down

    JuliaG's picture

    Sorry

    Double post :s
    kiss_hester's picture

    What do age do you consider

    What do age do you consider as kids? Just curious...

    So far everyone I heard about it thinks it sucks that Heather is gone... She was sooo popular! Stupid judges!

    Although I miss Jill, it was fun that Bridget was her replacement! You're funny, haha! LOL. And gosh, Karman, I never knew gay men have smaller heads! I'm gonna pay attention to that from now on, haha!

     OMG I'm already looking forward to the L word vlogs!!! Especially with the dolls!

    http://www.youtube.com/user/kisshester

    curlyhair343's picture

    Creepy as it sounds Jenah

    Creepy as it sounds Jenah looks and sounds just like my friend! Her atitude and everything. Except shes not as crazy, nor does she have blonde hair. Im gonna find a picture!

    And Bridget is so funny. Get all of yall together and that would be HILARIOUS! I do miss my weekly Jill fix though. :(

    ANYWAY I have had a sub teacher like that. She was the best, and now that i'm no longer in school we hang out. Well we did until I moved to Texas. I miss you AMY!

    Kie

    not a very good pic but she is the one in the hat. It was her birthday party thats why they dressed up! 

    explorergal's picture

    Watching you...

    Karman and Dara, we most definitely DO watch you too!

    Bridget you were a great sub!  You're hysterical and beautiful too!  I will never think of chopsticks and monocles in the same way again!

    Hope you get to be a Guestbian again...you were a very welcome addition!!

     HAHA, love the PSA faces!  Cracking up!

     Looking forward to the Grande Finale and then on to the L Word!!!!

    the_pressure_of_a_name's picture

    "I'M A MODEL.....I CAN WALK"

    HAHA - this cracked me up and also Dara how did you not laugh during that?  I had the great pleasure of having my coffee almost come of my nose...and then it almost happened again during the Heather re-enactment, doh.

    Loved the "No no no....Go Away....WHITE DEVIL"!  Also, I'm sure I've exited a treadmill that way once before.

    You rock Bridget, thanks for bringing copius amounts of funny! 

    BEST. SUBSTITUTE. TEACHER. EVER. 

    It's a given that we all love Jill mucho, but how about "the fab four" coming to our screens every now and again?!  Think of the possibilities, although Karman I think it might mean more editing for you =D (P.S Hope all is well with Mama G)

    raynbow6's picture

    Monogamy's for ugly people..

    In a way, I sort of agree. that is going to be my myspace name for a while. Great job.

     

    The things I can do, I can make you forget your name. They call me the Remedy because I can cure all ya pain.

    Another Lez's picture

    Nothing short of....

    hilarious. I have to agree with everyone else that if I had a substitute teacher like Bridget I would have gone to class.

    I'm thinking that Bridget needs to join the terrible three on a permanet basis.

    Bridget if you ever come to the midwest I'm available for some "cheating".

    Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

    I believe what I believe, you believe what you want!

    JennyJen's picture

    Oh no...

    You're going to take her away?  New chick is awesome.... you ladies need a bigger couch!
    Utopian's picture

    That was F-in' Awesome!!!

    Funny stuff, Ladies, very funny!  Bridget is a great sub, and Karmen and Dara, we are watching all three of you, not just the one on the right.  You're all gorgeous and funny, so there.  Thanks for the giggles.  Karmen, hope all is well with your Mom.  You're a wonderful daughter, you go when you get the call.  I knew you were a good person, this just confirms it.  Hurry back, we need our vloggers on the couch, getting the job done.  Now I gotta go, gotta see the boobs on Bridget's myspace page.  Take care!


    Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. Winston Churchill

    Pyewacket's picture

    The slow chopstick strip.

    Obviously Bridget is a prefect fit here at AE...she knows what her audience wants...YEAH BABY!...there needs to be a more permanent position (mind out of the gutter people...oops, that's my mind) made for her!

    And with Heather gone...there is no reason for me to care who wins.


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