News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

We're Getting Nowhere: "America's Next Top Model" Episode 9.5

In this week's edition of ANTM (Episode 9.5) the contestants were faced with some tough obstacles. Ice rinks that were cold! Photo shoots atop really tall buildings! Janet's incessant list-making and chore assignments!

This week, we discuss:

  • Whether or not sweet, awkward Heather might have begun drinking the Top Model Kool-Aid®
  • How they come up with these crazy ideas (Gargoyles? Come on!) for the ANTM photo shoots
  • Why Jill is sick of herself.

Also, in another special We're Getting Nowhere bonus feature, we'll touch base with the three "lost" ANTM contestants, Loquacious, Lorelai, and Natalia. You can enjoy their "private" confessionals in the clip below and find out how hard they rocked their high fashion gargoyle shoots, what they talk about with each other in their spare time, and why trampolines can be dangerous!


See Loquacious, Lorelai, and Natalia's full Top Model photo portfolios here

In our third and final (we promise!) video this week, we have some exclusive video footage from the Dante's Cove Season 3 premiere in Los Angeles. Watch as Dara and I (and 100 of Jill's closest friends) harass our favorite out starlet as she walks the red carpet, signs autographs, and pressures hapless afterparty attendees into drinking copious amounts of "apple juice."

 

America's Next Top Model Video Blog: Episode 9.5

AfterEllen.com Exclusive:
The 3 "lost" contestants of America's Next Top Model

 

We're Getting Nowhere invades the
Dante's Cove premiere and afterparty


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  • Charlie60652's picture

    Damn Karman

    Damn Karman why are you so f*cking hot?! =)
    fiddy's picture

    I'm sorry ladies.......

    You three girls are hot but Jamie is so FREAKIN' HOT!!!

    Natou85's picture

    OH YES!

    I totally agree with you Brenda!  WOOOW...
    AngelinaLover's picture

    I ♥ Jill

    especially hung over...I just can't get enough of Jill!

    valerie111's picture

    I LOVE KARMAN

    SHE IS JUST MY TYPE. ;p

    Looking for your new girlfriend? Want to make some new friends with similar interests? Try looking online on http://www.femmate.com. She's out there.

    fallonash's picture

    Way to go...

    ...posting all this goodness *just* when I'm running out the door and can't watch it. But I just gotta say, Karman, I LOVE your Viva la cerveza shirt.
    Molly Bolt's picture

    SWOON

    SWOON
    chicklet_interrupted's picture

    Give me caty

    Give Me Caty! lol Nice one !
    1charlie's picture

    AWESOME!!!

    Loved the ANTM recap but you shouldnt do so much editing :P, keep in all the random off topic talk!! I loved the ice skating reenactments, especially Karmen gliding passed with one of Jills cats! so cute! The 'lost contestants' are great! but im kinda hoping Albert's gone, then Natalia can become rich and hook up with Heather!!! lol

    And thank you guys sooo much for recording the premiere for Dante's cove. I loved how the whole crowd screamed when Jill was having her photo taken. and Jamie, finally made an appearance, Woohoo!

    You guys are great. :D i'm gonna be smiling for days now.

    lady laura's picture

    very entertaining!!

    loving the vlog this week!!

    i likes jill and dara's  t-shirts very cool!!

     The premiere looked like fun!!

    cyas next week!!  

    Ladyhawk1709's picture

    I just wanted to say that

    I just wanted to say that even though i don't watch antm (cause I'm norwegian) I think your v-logs is just hysterical, and I've watched them all... (starting to sound like a stalker now... not good)

    Anywhoodle... Thanks for making me laugh like a maniac.

    jayanny's picture

    ur shirt,,,,,

    I have that pink shirt too...only mine says little miss trouble lol! ;)

    evanescentdrmz's picture

    Skeleton chalices

    I love the glasses ladies!!!

    Dara: Kudos for liking gargoyles!! Mee too!

    Karman: GIVE ME CATTY! LOVED IT!

    JILL: You were sooo giggly..I loved it!

     

    You ladies make me laugh on a weekly basis! Thank you soo much for that!

    ¸.·´¯)It's true, we're all a little insane(¯`·.¸

    imthey's picture

    NEVER APOLOGIZE...

    Never, I repeat, never apologize for too many video blogs... there could never be such a thing. 
    If laughter is indeed the best medicine, I thank all of you at After Ellen with your vlogs for keeping me so healthy... you are all so frakkin' hysterical.
    Thank you for the insiders look at the premiere of Dante's Cove, for those of us who couldn't be there, this is the next best thing.
    Keep up the great job.  You ladies ROCK!

    P.S. A few little things: I love the Halloween goblets.  I almost passed out from laughing so much from Dara's I ♡ anal and Karman's vibrating ass and your safe words doll and yellow!  And JILL, there is no way that I (or probably any of us here at After Ellen) could ever get sick of seeing too much of you... I don't think there is such a thing!



    "Think Sideways"
        I M THEY

    bluebl00d's picture

    !!!!

    I talk in small paragraphs/sentences... 

    ANTM 

    That trampoline reenactment? That was hilarious.

    The number 12 has become my new favorite number ;)

    I really didn't like that Heather started acting like the rest of them and bitch talked about the other girls, but she did redeem herself by pointing out her own points to work on.... but still it's not cool.

    OMG I laughed so much at Dara's comment about how hard it must be to express a certain feeling with some dude's hand up your crotch and Karman adding some snark to the whole thing. I was laughing along with Jill ;)

    I understand Jill being sick of seeing or hearing about herself but goddamn I can not get enough of her, but girl I do feel for ya ;)

    I have a gap, maybe I should start embracing it? lol

    On the subject of people passing out, Marie Osmond passed out on LIVE tv last night, the woman dropped like a sack of potatoes O_O

    How come we don't see Natalia sipping on Vodka uh I mean "spring water" on any of these special footage?

    DANTE'S COVE PREMIERE

    I would have given pretty much anything to have been part of Jill's "entourage" for that premiere, seriously. OH MY GOD JAMIE <3 It's so stupid to admit this but hearing Jamie speak brings me great joy. It's too damn cute. I think I let out a small squeal as the presenter presented Jill and the crowd JILL'S FANS cheered :)

    I hate I wasn't there T_T

    stephcologne's picture

    never!!!

    I´m never getting sick of seeing you Jill, but I feel for you :)

    Your vlogs are still the best

    Love Natalia more and more evey week

    now I have a stuid smile on my face and have to go to work ;)

    keep it up Best.Vlog.EVER.

    fiddy's picture

    Great vblog!

    So, Lisa is still your favourite? She's mine too but I have a soft spot for Ebony, the girl does some fine photos.

    innovative passions's picture

    More Jaime.

    NAKED!
    tootles's picture

    That was so fun!

    Got me laughing so hard, especially the reenactmen scenes and all your facial expressions.

    I also have the sudden urge to name your sense of humor: Dara is the "quiet" sense of humor, Karman is the "sweet" sense of humor and Jill is the "dynamic" sense of humor : P

    And very fun premier party video : D Awesome filming ; )

    PS: There's 1/4 of Jill's face during Lorelai's confession =))

    ***

    "I'm so sorry for the things that they've done
    I'm so sorry about what we've all become."

    [Editors - Well worn hands]

    chefgirl's picture

    batsh*t crazy...

    ...is now in my lexicon!!!!
    not without my coffee's picture

    Loquacious Lee

    Cracks me up every time. She reminds me a lot of a friend I used to have in my late teens (no, she wasn't Asian but her family seems to have shared Loquacious parents views about how to raise your child). Keep up the good work!

     

    And to Natalia - I have the utmost respect for Russia's achivements in figure skating but I must tell you that Katarina Witt is from Germany. :-)

     

    Thank you all for guaranteed laughs!

    funny buisness's picture

    Awwww cute kitty!

    Loved the reenactments, especially the "give me catty" one. LOL. Wow, what a giggle fest you had going on this time, very nice! Loved all of it. :) Thanx for the Dante's Cove premire video, looked like a lot of fun.

    Oh and: noooo, there can never be enough of Jill! I'm happy about every vlog I can see here! :D

    Shout out to Natalia: Yeah, I have the feeling that you're going to win too. ;)

     

    To sum it all up: FANTASTIC!

     

     

     

    ~'Thanks for nothin'...~

    Abana's picture

    Katarina Witt

    I just wanted to post this. Katarina Witt is really great.
    Anyway, the vlog was hilarious as usual. Thumps up!
    notl33t's picture

    Don't worry girls . . .

    I don't think Michelle Paradise can possibly compete with the brains of our talented and beloved threesome: Dara, Jill and Karman! Ta-dah! Three lesbians are better than one.

    Who edits We're Getting Nowhere? Great pacing. I'm beginning to get your background music stuck in my head.

     

    Gallium's picture

    Miss Fun

    Dara you crack me up! Loved he pinkt-shirt

    The Asian centred comment made me LOL but maybe that's because I'm asian and non-centred.

    Can never be sick of Jill, loved how there was a massive cheer when Jill had her photo taken, private fan club with dara and Karmen the loudest or was that just my ears?

     

     

    monkeywrench's picture

    ...

    I love all these videos... so many at once!

    I didn't know someone broke their leg re-enacting your... re-enactments. That's rather shameful. Even if I did that, I wouldn't admit it!

    Aww, Jill, we're not sick of you no matter how much you wish we were. (Evidently, from the loud screaming from your fans at the sight of you.)

    btw, the girl who passed out was Rebecca in C4 and that is one of my top moments. On E! THS (I think), the panel were saying that if she didn't have a weave, she might have damaged her head. I'm very clumsy, maybe I should get a weave. Or at least the people re-enacting your re-enactments.

    As for Heather in Top Model, I hated how in earlier episodes she was edited to be pitied and her disorder was being brought up a lot, but this is one time where I really wish they did bring it up. I have a friend with Asperger Syndrome and something relatively common is that they're often blunt and brutally honest - but they in no way mean to be offensive because they're just saying what they think. It's something that makes a lot of them dread social interactions with people they don't know because they're afraid they'll offend someone or be rude when they think they're being polite or helpful. She reminded me of my friend when she was saying that stuff about the other girls - you could tell she wasn't talking behind their backs and wasn't being bitchy about it.

    Lisa is sweet and talented but, call me crazy, I'm starting to like Bianca - well not like her as such, I'm just entertained by her. She's sometimes a fun-bitch, sometimes a bitch-bitch. The show needs an injection of bitchiness every so often or it gets boring.

    I guess I'd better shut up now, I ramble far too much. xD

     

    __________________

    "The world will not greet you with open arms, but with a clenched fist."

    Pomegranates's picture

    Thanks, Monkeywrench

    for mentioning Heather's upfront comments. It is an Aspie trait I know and fear all too well. I am also disappointed with the "poor Heather" attitude they have portrayed in previous episodes. It seems like they edited around Heather's AS a lot more this week. Hopefully she starts to look towards the camera it would be awful to see her go before some of the others *cough*bianca*cough*. Did anyone else see the star tattoo behind the one girls ear? Not to read too much into it but.... maybe?!
    Tara21's picture

    wow

    i'm kinda speechless....

    antm recap was the funniest thing ever! "Give me asthmatic"? I bursted out laughing. The whole thing was amazing! Remember when Lisa said she looks like a poodle... well, she does actually.... I agree that she's hot, such a beautiful face and body, but the hair.?...mmhh

    And...wow... Jill has a pretty loud fanbase.

    devil_lush's picture

    Dante's premiere

     Jamie is a vision... and with Jill they are the cutest couple ever...love seeing them together...

     It was lovely seeing Karmen, Dara and Michelle Paradise there too.. i'm pretty sure you girls had a blast there...

     Great Vlogs!!!! I love the "lost" models... every time i crack up laughing..too much fun!

     

    BTW - Jill we could never get tired of seeing you...EVER!

    "Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning"

    JuSt-mOi's picture

    simply awesome!

    Horror movies like Showgirls lol now that's funny

    Karman Viva La Cerveza (specially Corona although I can take a Bud everyonce in a while) indeed....Salud!

    Dara, nice work on making Jill freeze & blush, good one! u r awesome!

    Jill, I'm not sick of u, or Karman or Dara so bring some more over-exposure

    The 3 "lost" contestants were hilarious once again ;)

    btw, it is fun when ppl fall down hehehe

    loved the reenactments!

    p.s. I wish I could've been to that premiere. Karman+Jill+Dara+Jamie Blake+Michelle Paradise= one kick ass event :D and Karman u were really focusing on the boob shots huh? niiiice *wink*

    "i don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every minute of it"

    jennifer from pittsburgh's picture

    Lost 3

    The Lost 3 Contestants bit is always so hysterical. Love it! But, unless I'm mistaken Katarina Witt was German, not Russian.
    silence91's picture

    ice

    Wasn't that a funny joke about Katarina Witt being from Russia? Like East Germany was a Russian/Soviet province or something. But what do you mean she WAS German? She's only 41. She's still here.
    Omega II's picture

    Dara...

    All of you were great as usual.

    Karman: "I'm a Muppet" A hilarious and disturbing mental image(my favorite kind).

    Jill: "We're going to stay in and watch horror movies... like Showgirls " I'm going to be enjoying that for a while.

    Dara: "I heart anal" That is the moment you stole this episode, and wouldn't give it back. Kudos!

    "Bad jokes are us, ur me."

    JuliaG's picture

    Wow!

    I swear it took me about one hour to get through the whole recap, just because I couldn't stop laughing, and then I'd miss what you guys said, and I had to go back and see it again. This is probably one of my favorite WGN episodes so far! It was SO funny. I really miss the longer vlogs though!

    I loved that there was a lot of extra goodness this week =D Thanks!

    And Jill, we will never be sick of you! Or the rest of the WGN gang =D

    lashun's picture

    I HEART THE TERRIBLE THREE!!!

    I love you girls!! And the fact that someone actually broke their leg reacting the reenactments is LAUGH OUT LOUD HILARIOUS!! I lost it when I heard that. (With just a little bit of sadness for them)

    Dara - making the girls blush is so awesome of you. I fall more and more in love with you. Karman - that t shirt does rock. I would raid your closet if I thought I could fit your t shirts. And Jill - NO ONE IS SICK OF YOU!

    The lost contestants should have been on ANTM. I would actually watch it this cycle.

    I still have yet to watch ANTM and I really dont see myself watching it until MTV does reruns cause this blog is F@#$ING HILARIOUS!

    That poor cat....catty.....lol Dara says "Dont act like you need air!".... HA HA aaahh!!

    Sabrina Hilton's picture

    aww.

    aww, jamie is really cute. lots of cute lesbians. that's why everyone comes to this site. I mean we use the guise of community and fighting for visibility and progressive stuffs, but really it's about the cute lesbians. lol.
    A.L. Abbott's picture

    Was the greatest

    I love this vlog so much. It always makes my day better.

    I liked how when Jamie came on and Karmen tried to move the camera to look at her breasts, Dara nudged her while laughing and told her to stop.

    Twstdtrinity's picture

    Jillie B is everywhere

    We could never get tired of you, Jill. Youre awesome and funny we , your fans, can't get enough of that. lol As a result from all the exposure youre getting, Sarah is gonna have to rename the site Before Jill.

    Dara, you are the coolest person ever. lol I can't say that enough. You are like totally like the wind beneath my feather things.

     

    Karman....I wuv you. If I had a terminal illness and the Make Wish foundation asked me what my wish was I'd say.....wanna see Jill and Dara wrestle in pudding. But my SECOND wish would be to hang with you for a day or... 2 weeks.

     

    This week was awesome! Funniest shit on the internet. Tank Q for the fix!

    panacirema's picture

    "she's calm cuz she's asian..."

    HAHA, that totally reminds me of the time I had an interview with an alum of a certain college I was applying to and she went on for ten minutes about how asians always seem to be hiding their emotions because she can see something behind their eyes but there's always a wall or something. And the whole time I was thinking "I'll show YOU some emotion." And then she said her favorite Chinese food was lemon/orange chicken. So I kind of threw that interview, but I'm glad I did. :)

    great vlog! loved all the one-liner quips. and how can anyone get sick of jill??? :P

    omg, inbd

    netgirl1983's picture

    Couldn't stop laughing

    This has to be the funniest WGN ever. I was laughing so hard my landlady came down to see what the heck was so funny.

    Jill - We'll never get enough of you and uh neither will the screaming fans you had with you at the premiere!

    Dara - 'I Heart Anal' - Best. Comment. Ever.

    Karman - Your laugh is adorable

    Jill B & Jaime B - Cutest. Couple. Ever

     

     

    The Way The Cookie Crumbles - http://blog.alrightstill.net

    Because Visibility Matters - The AfterEllen.com Fanlisting - http://aefan.alrightstill.net

    Mesmerizing - The Lauren Blitzer Fanlisting - http://lbfan.alrightstill.net

    A Muse's picture

    awesome

    vlog yet again. BUT WHY SO SHORT???

    "giddy-Jillie" is absolutely cute. more more more even if it means you're hungover :P

    Jill, since you've enough of yourself give yourself a break and send yourself over to me cos I ain't having enough of you yet .... love your shirt btw ;)

    You sleep with your baby-blanket? anyone else want a pic of that? sleeping Jill.......... :D

    Dara, great one-liners! love your comments all the time. hard to hear sometimes but always worth it!!! :D

    "Give me catty" :lol: Karman and the cat were hilarious!

    Did Karman and Jill switch? This time it was Karman who said "inappropriate" things. Why do you guys have to censor yourself like that? I would like to hear how you really talk - sailor Jill anyone? :P

    And last but not least I can't believe that someone actually re-enacted Jill's rockclimbing...and broke a leg..... Are you gonna start doing a disclaimer "kids, don't try this at home?"

    ------------------------------------------------------
    The 3C's OF THE UNOFFICIAL JILL BENNETT FANCLUB WEBPAGE http://www.freewebs.com/ujbfc NOW WITH "ASK JILL"section&

    Emmanescence's picture

    Woah...

    Okay Natalia, I think you should embrace your feelings, and be as descriptive as possible in your confessionals...you know...to help us help you understand them.

    Three videos? Ahh! You guys are spoiling us, you're so hilarious and beautiful.

    And I can't believe you guys didn't think Janet was hot. With that dark disheveled hair? Hello??? Oh well.

     

    Too much beauty...I'm overwhelmed...

     

    www.myspace.com/emmahuntermusic

    Miho Vicky's picture

    Dude, I know! I thought

    Dude, I know! I thought Janet was SO hott!

    HotHandle's picture

    You guys are just having way too much fun!!!

    Watched all three videos, it is apparent that you guys are having way too much fun!  Keep it up.

    I love your drinking cups, very Halloweeny.

    Why can't Jill Bennett be a "guestbian" for Michelle Paradise's new vlog?  They make a hot couple, it would be fun to see them argue and discuss the show.

    evan i's picture

    oddly enough

    i really enjoy the commentary part of this whole vlog deal. as in, the terrible three commentary. i like these extras too, the premiers and lost contestants and such... but when i watch them, i think-- okay, now i want to hear the commentary for it. so, i start to look forward to commentary on the premier video. or on the lost models (where is the lost commentary?).

    but then i realize this is just wishful thinking, and also might be a sign of addiction.

    oh well.
    Phoenix21's picture

    Jill is so adorable

    I think all three are hot, especially Karman, but the fact that Jill is asmatic and sleeps with her baby blanket is so damn cute! It is just too adorable and hot.

     Also must add that I love a lady in glasses, don't know why, and Michelle Paradise is frakin' hot in hers.

    And I love Jamie!! She is so gorgeous and she and Jill are so cute together.

    drip's picture

    Firstly, some of the

    Firstly, some of the comments about watching Jill sleep are creepy!!! if I were Jill I would be freaked out (but I'm not and maybe she is used to it)

    Secondly, I would *love* to know what these rules are that you keep mentioning (maybe I should be askinG sarah about this). "Are you allowed to say that?", "we have a time limit" etc etc.. exactly what are the criterion for you VLOGS?

    Fabulous VLOG.

    P.S I think someone should start a thread in the forum about secrets like "I sleep with my baby blanket"

    SeattleStorm1986's picture

    i heart this blog

    you guys are hilarious.  the ice skating reinactment had me in stitches.

    bline's picture

    only by watching you guys laugh

    makes me laugh too - sounds stupid...but that's what this vlog can do and thank you for that!

    you guys are hot, smart, funny, talented >> you guys rooocccckkk!

    ps. I love Natalia's comment about Loquacious playing violin for Lorelai - that was hilarious!!!  oh and the comment on Lorelai's butterfly - these two are my favorites this week. 

    makgrrl's picture

    loooove the accent

    I looovve the Russian accent Jill! lol sounds so... Russian!

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