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Home » Blogs » Karman Kregloe's blog » The perks of being a "power lesbian" in London

The perks of being a "power lesbian" in London

by
Karman Kregloe

According to a column in the London Evening Standard, the British public is obsessed with "power lesbians." Standard writer Liz Hoggard notes that all of London is captivated by the romantic proclivities of retail consultant Mary Portas (host of the BBC show Mary Queen of Shops), writer Jeanette Winterson (Written on the Body), and other high-profile lesbians.

Mary Portas and Melanie Rickey

Portas is planning to "marry" (the quotations around the word were provided by Hoggard, not me) her journalist girlfriend Melanie Rickey, and Winterson's "close friendship" with feminist therapist Susie Orbach (Fat is a Feminist Issue) is garnering attention as it coincides with the end of Orbach's 30-year marriage.

Jeanette Winterson and Susie Orbach

Hoggard writes that Winterson's romantic "track record" has always invited public scrutiny, as she's dated high-profile women like theatre director Deborah Warner, late literary agent Pat Kavanagh, and author Peggy Reynolds.

Other power couples referenced in the article include, BBC sports commentator Clare Balding and the radio personality Alice Arnold and novelists Joanna Briscoe and Charlotte Mendelson.

Alice Arnold and Clare Balding

The column is more than a series of romantic status updates for some of Britain's most well-known lesbians. Hoggard wants to know the reason for the "sudden interest in rumours of the latest A-gay relationship."

Why it's jealousy, of course. Her theory is:

... A new generation of rich, successful gay women are smashing stereotypes with their glamour and spending power. These Power Lesbians simply have a nicer life than the rest of us.

The perks are evident — uncomplicated sex and great conversation, financial independence, foreign travel, probably a second home in the country, plus an introduction to the movers and shakers of London society.

In defiance of the stereotypical male earner and his stay-at-home-with-the-kids wife, still prevalent among the middle classes, both lesbian partners are often influential in their own right ... And thanks to advances in fertility treatment, these couples increasingly also have children, creating a whole new class of yummy mummies.

Well, (except for the "yummy mummies") it certainly sounds fabulous. Though I'm not sure how many stereotypes are being "smashed" if the perception of lesbian relationships is that the mere presence of money and social stature immediately signals "uncomplicated sex." (She's obviously never seen The L Word.)

Hoggard also notes that part of the appeal of high-profile lesbian romances is the, um, closeness of all of their circles. She writes, "Like any elite group, London's Power Lesbians are often intimately connected," then rattles off a list of intertwined power-exes that would make Alice Pieszecki proud.

Regardless of social class, most lesbians will admit that their social/romantic circles are woefully small and prone to entanglement. So is it really the "elite-ness" of "London's Power Lesbians" that lashes them together, or simply the "lesbian-ness" that does the trick?

And the tabloids are also joining in on the festivities. Hoggard writes "Now British gossip mags are totally sympathetic to the relationships of couples such as Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, or Beth Ditto and her girlfriend Freddie."

While I did appreciate learning new gossip about British celesbians that are less well-known here in the U.S., even after reading her upbeat, breezy column a few times, I'm still not sure of Hoggard's main point.

Is it that London Power Lesbians are worthy of admiration simply because they're rich and famous? (She lists the material assets of a handful of the Power Lesbians and heralds the fact that their ranks are growing.) Or that the tabloid "sympathy" lavished on Power Lesbians is proof of some greater social progress?

Ultimately, Hoggard concludes, "Lesbian culture has never been as visible and confident. ... There's no denying that the new A-gay couples - wealthy, cosmopolitan, assured - are just a damn sight more fun than anyone else."

Of course, that's good news. But I was left with a question of my own: Will the "fun" factor extend itself to even greater acceptance of all the other non-famous lesbians, maybe even to the degree that their "marriages" won't require quotation marks?

  • Karman Kregloe's blog
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    • Submitted by
    Karman Kregloe
    on August 25, 2009 - 4:00pm.
    TAGS :: 
    Taylor's picture

    Hmmm, doesn't Freddie

    Submitted by
    Taylor (60 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 4:33pm.
    identify as male?  The girlfriend remark caught me 'cause I think I read in an afterellen blog at some point that Freddie identifies as male.  I could be wrong, though.
    Karman Kregloe's picture

    how Freddie identifies

    Submitted by
    Karman Kregloe (2703 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 4:47pm.
    Back in March, I did an article profiling lesbian celebrities and their partners/wives/girlfriends.

    http://www.afterellen.com/people/2009/1/lesbiancelebritygirlfriends2

    In that article, based on my research, I wrote "Fagula uses masculine and feminine pronouns and identifies as a gender deviant queer." That's all I know about Freddie at this point. :)
    Taylor's picture

    Ahhhh!

    Submitted by
    Taylor (60 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 5:32pm.
    Thanks!  That was a quick reply : )
    bloomsberry's picture

    Love it. The article may be

    Submitted by
    bloomsberry (12 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 5:51pm.
    Love it. The article may be a touch frivolous, but it's fun, and the women profiled are well-known and happen to do quite a lot for inclusivity. It's nice, for example, to see Mary Portas casually mention her partner as 'she' in Grazia, the weekly, very mainstream magazine for which her partner, Melanie Rickey, is a fashion editor.
    Tea&Toast's picture

    Wow. Never heard of Melanie

    Submitted by
    Tea&Toast (598 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 5:53pm.

    Wow. Never heard of Melanie Rickey, but she's hot :|

    Oh yeah, back to the topic at hand. I liked this article when I first read it actually, admittedly the 'marry' thing was a bit odd, but overall I felt the article was a good one. I always like reading Hoggards articles anyway, her breezy, light hearted style is a nice change from some of the other writers in the standard :)

    I Tweet therefore I am; http://twitter.com/RainbowPleb

    monica_ca's picture

    Agreed!

    Submitted by
    monica_ca (751 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 11:28pm.

    Quote:
    Wow. Never heard of Melanie Rickey, but she's hot :|

    I totally agree! :D 

    Abia's picture

    I liked the article, it's a

    Submitted by
    Abia (45 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 6:16pm.


    I liked the article, it's a fun read and it's in the evening standard and like Tea&Toast says....usually I find the evening standard a bit far from light hearted sometimes, plus I think sometimes it's about visibiity and I think this article gives visibilty in a positive way, well compared to the tabloids...

     

     

    They never saw me coming!

     

     

     

    felkan's picture

    To be honest...

    Submitted by
    felkan (4 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 6:20pm.

    ....I could see that the term 'marry' could be put in such a way because technically we can't marry over here we can only get 'civil partnered' and that just sounds a bit crap. But then maybe i'm just being a bit optimistic about the usage!

    I am intrigued about where the idea of 'uncomlpicated sex' comes from...not that i'm saying it's over complicated but of all the lesbian stereotypes that's a new one on me!

    strict machine's picture

    yeah agreed about the "marry"

    Submitted by
    strict machine (4899 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 8:36pm.
    we cant get married in the uk
    KayJ's picture

    And what's even more

    Submitted by
    KayJ (196 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:26am.

    And what's even more offensive is the legalese around it, in which it becomes an offence to "pretend" that a civil partnership is a marriage.

    Married bi woman here, and mortally offended that the only  reason I was allowed to marry the person I love and wish to spend the rest of my life with is that he has boy-bits.  I was not so politically aware when I got hitched in the early 90s, but both of us were furious that the option was based purely on plumbing.

    We're both excrutiatingly conscious of our privilege, and that's why we keep lobbying for full marriage equality.

    Sorry.  Got ranty there.

    Zahra's picture

    Good for you!

    Submitted by
    Zahra (129 posts)
    on August 27, 2009 - 9:29am.
    I'm a bi women partner with a woman writing from Massachusetts in the US, where we got marriage equality in part because of the work that bi people with different-sex partners did in the political process. Keep at it!
    Rachel's picture

    I lol'ed

    Submitted by
    Rachel (25 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 7:26pm.
    I started busting up laughing at Hoggard's comment that "The perks are evident — uncomplicated sex..." If by uncomplicated she means no worries about pregnancy then I suppose so, but lesbians are notorious for drama.
    KayJ's picture

    I admit, I read it as code

    Submitted by
    KayJ (196 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:27am.

    I admit, I read it as code for "not real sex with all its attendant emotional complexities", which is aggravating.

    The rest of it seemed to be pretty pro-same-sex relationships, though.

    Zahra's picture

    I think you're right...

    Submitted by
    Zahra (129 posts)
    on August 27, 2009 - 9:27am.

    "uncomplicated sex" = "not real sex"

    As in, being with another woman must be like taking a warm bubble bath--nice and comforting, but nothing to get excited about. It's damning with faint praise.

    On an unrelated note, Joanna Briscoe and Charlotte Mendelson are together? Who knew! 

    jennifer from pittsburgh's picture

    Not so long ago (1999) I

    Submitted by
    jennifer from p... (1476 posts)
    on August 25, 2009 - 10:38pm.
    Not so long ago (1999) I argued vehemently with a friend that Jeanette Winterson was the most important writer of our generation.  
    I suspect, now, that I was wrong.
     
    katemc39's picture

    Good Press

    Submitted by
    katemc39 (195 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:49am.

    All press is good press right?  This does seem to have a very positive edge to it but I agree that it's a bit silly.  It's sort of pointing out that the rich and famous have more fun than we do...EVEN when it's two women. 

    It's probably just an excuse to put the word 'lesbian' in a headline.

    Still...sorta makes me want to be a power lesbian.  I've got the lesbian part down pat.

    Anonymous's picture

     all of london talking

    Submitted by
    Anonymous
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:38am.

     all of london talking about power lesbians? really?! i must have missed that...

    hmm, i wonder if this is part of the ES's attempt to move away from their 'daily mail-ish slant' following the relaunch in may?

    although, as someone points out in the comments, we are witnessing some progress if there's more controversy surrounding jeanette winterson owning three houses rather than who she has relationships with. but in an article with the word lesbian in the title!

    btw: susie orbach is a fantastic writer; check out her book bodies.

    Anonymous's picture

    Um, I think the British public

    Submitted by
    Anonymous
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:45am.

    are far more obsessed with skanky, faux lesbian, half naked, celebrity D list wannabees, than a few "power" lesbians ... If you asked the average (non lesbian) Brit, they probably wouldn't have a clue who these people are!

    Nice to see an article that is "sympathetic" though, as most of their papers are tabloids (owned by Murdoch) and do nothing but exploit lesbianism and paint us in a negative light.

    I'm off to work on that "Power" thing :-) ... that reminds me, I need a new pant suit.

    Corinna's picture

    Mary Portas?!

    Submitted by
    Corinna (55 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 4:15am.
    I didn't know she was gay. :)
    Zoe Esther's picture

    Wow, Melanie Rickey is

    Submitted by
    Zoe Esther (9 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 6:45am.
    Wow, Melanie Rickey is beautiful...
    katie's picture

    I like the column even

    Submitted by
    katie (96 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 9:15am.

    I like the column even though it's depth can be analysed. The point I took away was simply that these women exsist, they are powerful, beautiful and influencial and as such people are taking notice.

    The trouble with Britain and the rest of the western world is that we are obssessed with celebs. For example how many people are pouring over every inch of newsprint looking at Peter and Jordan's later saga.

    I think that with every Lindsay and Beth people are opening their eyes. On the surface this may be a superficial article focusing on wealth and power rather then the relationships themselves but it is the light through which we look at many celebrities nowadays.

    Chilaxing's picture

    NICE READ

    Submitted by
    Chilaxing (312 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 11:43am.

    I liked the article.

     

    dr_tinkywinky's picture

    Clearly Ms Hoggard has only

    Submitted by
    dr_tinkywinky (108 posts)
    on August 26, 2009 - 11:55am.

    Clearly Ms Hoggard has only a passing acquaintance with lesbians, famous or otherwise.  Uncomplicated sex? Great conversation? Are these really counted as 'perks' now?

    'Tis a miracle that with all that uncomplicated sex and great conversation (not to mention foot rubs, back rubs and hair stroking) there's even one hetero woman left in Britain.

    I agree with all other posters that this is less indicative of a wider acceptance of lesbians in Britain, and more symptomatic of the British obsession with celebrity.  

     

    Be alert.  The world needs more lerts.

    Anonymous's picture

      Why buy the evening

    Submitted by
    Anonymous
    on August 26, 2009 - 3:22pm.

     

    Why buy the evening standard when the London paper is free??

    mousalope's picture

    Perks of London Power Lesbians

    Submitted by
    mousalope (32 posts)
    on August 27, 2009 - 4:11am.

    I thought we had already established the primary perk is the fine tailored suits:

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPvupLbS0q0

    kabuki30's picture

    WHAT ITS LIKE WHEN YOU ARE TAGGED A "POWER LESBIAN"

    Submitted by
    kabuki30 (4 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 8:12pm.

    Ok, so I'm one of the women mentioned in the "Power Lesbian" story in London's Evening Standard (which, incidentally, became a free newspaper from Monday of this week, Oct 12).  Far from feeling short-changed in this tabloid depiction of modern lesbianism I was proud that we engendered such positivity and respect for being gay women living our lives. The upshot of being tagged a Power Lesbian was general hilarity amongst friends AND work colleagues. It was fun and empowering!  That wouldn't have happened even a year ago in the press. The media used to need to make lesbians out to be unattractive freaks no man would want anyway (too butch) or just plain misguided (they just need a man). Now the media is trying to see the gay choice as viable and understandable. I'm an attractive woman who has been an out lesbian from the age of 17 and never had a problem with my sexuality, and in fact my mission is to normalise to others what is totally normal to me. So I feel the mainstream media is finally just keeping it real. At last! I happen to be in love with a woman who is gaining a high media profile, I'm fair game to be outed too, and it's like, whatever! No biggie. As a result of the piece I re-connected with Joanna Briscoe again (who I haven't seen for 11 years, we used to hang out years ago) and last week we all got together for a dinner which we jokingly referred to as our Power Lesbian Pow Wow. The best night I've had in ages. So what are the perks of being a power lesbian in London? Not validation - never needed that! But seeing that two afterellen members think I'm hot - I'm honoured! xx

    strict machine's picture

    melanie??

    Submitted by
    strict machine (4899 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 8:34pm.
    awesome if its you
    kabuki30's picture

    hello

    Submitted by
    kabuki30 (4 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 8:36pm.
    it is!
    strict machine's picture

    awesome

    Submitted by
    strict machine (4899 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 8:37pm.
    you and mary are quite the couple to look up to
    kabuki30's picture

    you know

    Submitted by
    kabuki30 (4 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 8:51pm.

     we r pretty normal, muddling thru like everyone else.

    strict machine's picture

    text speak

    Submitted by
    strict machine (4899 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 10:04pm.
    on a fashion editor? hmm
    blue-c's picture

    Wrong....

    Submitted by
    blue-c (244 posts)
    on October 15, 2009 - 9:20pm.
    ...make that three members who think you're hot.  DAMN HOT I might add!!

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