Kristanna Loken lands a new role

Remember when Uwe Boll challenged the people insulting him to a boxing match? I do.

http://www.bollboxing.com/

I tried to join in the fray, but he wouldn't fight girls, oh no, he said it was unfair.

Well here's the top reasons why I wanted to knock him in the teeth:

1. He makes video game plots even worse than they are

2. He can take a good actor and pull a bad performance out of them.

3. He places caves and raves into storylines that are supposed to have neither.

4. He insists on being called Dr. Uwe Boll, due to his PhD.

5. He thinks fighting girls is too easy.

6. His film editing skills are less talented than those of a one-armed monkey.

7. The shortest of his films still seem, while watching, no shorter than 15 hours.

8. He is attempting to create a filmic experience equivalent to that of the Holocaust or genocide.

9. He still needs to learn how to pull focus, or at least find a cinematographer who can. Oh, wait, was that supposed to be 'artistic'?

10. I still can't find my left eye after I gouged the pair out while watching Alone In The Dark.

Dr. Boll, just give me one shot, I promise I will take you down like a rhinoceros against a Trekkie.

(And no, ladies, I do not look like a rhinoceros)

was so terrible it was funny. I always tell people to check it out so they can say they've seen the worst movie ever. Get drunk with friends and then put it on. The film is a barrell of unintended humor.

That being said, he should not touch any film about Sundan.

...that this guy is from my country... why can't we have a good and sucessful german filmmaker in hollywood...grr...

though i have to admit, after several shots and liters of beer, bloodrayne was kinda fun to watch with lots of friends. of course, we talked all the time and didn't actually watch the movie...