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Home » Blogs » Jen Sabella's blog » Linsday Lohan and Samantha Ronson's break up has the media talking about lesbian relationships

Linsday Lohan and Samantha Ronson's break up has the media talking about lesbian relationships

by
Jen Sabella

As many of us know firsthand, there are few things worse than having your heart broken. Breakups, for the most part, are ugly. Gay or straight, male, female or in between, getting dumped sucks, dumping someone sucks and, after days, months or years of companionship, being alone sucks, too (for awhile at least).

So imagine going through an ugly breakup with a girlfriend of nearly two years in public. With every teardrop, emotionally charged rant and overly-dramatic comment being photographed, published and subsequently ridiculed. It’s been a rough week for Lindsay Lohan.

While we generally leave the Lohan/Samantha Ronson beat to the celebrity blogs and tabloids, the demise of their relationship has certainly been noteworthy, if not for the sake of storytelling, but for some insight into how the world at large views lesbian breakups.

Salon writer Tracy Clark-Flory put it simply:

After all, popular culture tells us that straight girls get crazy during breakups and, so, two chicks calling it quits equals twice the crazy.

OK, so Lohan cried, accused Ronson of cheating via Twitter, allegedly made a scene at Sam’s hotel and “chugged vodka” — isn’t that what happens after a breakup? If the media followed around every heartbroken man or woman a day or two after a bad breakup, I’m sure this would all be par for the course: So why is it that the women always get the bad wrap?

“You've likely gathered from the recent reports of rabid catfights, changed locks and restraining orders: Somewhere in the world, a lesbian couple has just broken up,” Clark-Flory writes.

Of course, the restraining order rumors were completely untrue, according to Ronson. But you know you have heard it before: “Oh man, I cant imagine dating another woman, there would be sooo much drama,” your straight female coworker says. Even your lesbian friends embrace the term “lesbian drama” with a laugh. But are lesbian breakups really more dramatic?

"I'm just really hurt!" Lohan told US Weekly says, adding that she feels “so alone” without Ronson. Off the charts “crazy” breakup reaction? Not so much.

If anything, the Lohan/Ronson split has allowed everyone to perpetuate their jaded views on lesbian women and relationships easily: Page Six called Lohan the “saddest girl in the world” and one of their often wrong “sources” accused Sam of using the actress to book more DJ gigs. The poor, helpless straight girl, “tricked” into dating a mean dyke who was using her.

As everyone does after a bad breakup, Lohan will hurt for a while and get over it, unfortunately for her, the mainstream media is waiting for her to jump off a cliff. Perhaps some women are more openly emotional after breakups, so are many men. A public, celesbian breakup is just like any other breakup: But the untrue rumors, backstabbing and s--t talking is all public knowledge.

If a prominent couple of gay men split would the suicide-watch brigade be called upon?

Do you believe that lesbian breakups are more dramatic?

  • Jen Sabella's blog
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    • Submitted by
    Jen Sabella
    on April 10, 2009 - 12:00pm.
    TAGS :: 
    Melissa Hsu's picture

    It's no ones job to

    Submitted by
    Melissa Hsu (not verified)
    on April 12, 2009 - 7:59pm.
    It's no ones job to represent you or anyone else just so you can feel more accepted in this world. And I couldn't help but laugh in disbelief at your complete lack of sensitivity which I found more appalling than a "crack whore" could ever be. 
    Heather's picture

    Let down

    Submitted by
    Heather (1 post)
    on April 12, 2009 - 7:09pm.

    To me, the drama within a break up isn't because of the sex of the couple, but because of the emotions between the two people. I mean, can you really over simplify a 2 year relationship by saying that she is taking it hard because she is a woman in a lesbian relationship? A relationship, gay or straight or otherwise, is full of ups and downs...when it ends, its always hard, and sometimes one person takes it a little harder than the other, but the fact is...it's not about being a lesbian, gay, bi or being straight. It goes beyond that and it's sad to see the simplistic interpretation given by the masses.

    VivIvonette's picture

    Doesn't Matter

    Submitted by
    VivIvonette (38 posts)
    on April 12, 2009 - 8:33pm.
    I agree with this. If you have been in a relationship for that long, committed emotionally, there is bound to be some animosity once a breakup occurs. It makes no difference the gender of the players; some breakups are nasty while some just happen. It depends on the people, not necessarily on the gender. I think there has just been too much media on the relationship in general, I don't understand what it is about the media now-a-days trying to break people up and cause strife, it seems like a double negative, someone has what you want, a loving relationship, so you break them up. It reminds me of the Britney episode on South Park, we raise them up so we can tear them down. It just doesn't make sense to me.
    niki's picture

    not surprised...

    Submitted by
    niki (4 posts)
    on April 12, 2009 - 8:20pm.

    First Lindsay is young.. and I hate to say it but love hurts when it ends especially the first time you really fall in love. I think people have failed to see how much Sam really kept Lindsay out of trouble. I can't recall her getting a single DUI or any drug charges put against her while the going was good between them. The biggest concern that a person who has been sent to A.A. and is drinking at all is dangerous. And to think her mother was photographed sitting next her while she was drinking. Sam was a grounding point for her, and when you lose that the whole world feels like it is in a tailspin.
    I wish that people would give her a break and she would let herself heal before she tries to work, but I know that's hard to do once you get in the limelight. I don't think it matters what your sexual orientation first loves are hard and i'm sure worse being famous.

    Canadianna's picture

    Every tabloid

    Submitted by
    Canadianna (87 posts)
    on April 12, 2009 - 8:28pm.

    Every tabloid loves a trainwreck breakup - I don't think this one is any worse than any other.

    They're still milking Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston and it's been years since they broke up. I swear every time I'm in the supermarket I see magazines with headlines like, "JEN BREAKS DOWN ON PHONE WITH BRAD! IS SHE PREGNANT OR IS SHE SUICIDAL??" Meanwhile, he's moved on and had three children with Angelina already.  I think. I'm losing count.

    I don't really care about who she dates next.  If she is bisexual she'll probably date a guy again.  So we'll see silly "LILO STRAIGHT AGAIN, SAYS FAMILY" crap in the tabloids no matter what, if it's a month or a year from now.

    Brutal_Romance's picture

    I dont think Lohan/Ronson

    Submitted by
    Brutal_Romance (384 posts)
    on April 13, 2009 - 5:11am.

    I dont think Lohan/Ronson relationship represnt me wholly in anyway, but it still saddens me that they broke up.

    and i thought most celebrity breakups are pretty hectic and more 'dramatic' than the rest of the population, so it doesnt phase me out that there was more heat on their relationship. they were a public figure, and their hardship will be abused by the media.

    from personal experience, i can honestly say that not all lesbian relationships are teeming with drama at the prospect of a breakup. i had pretty quiete breakups in the past, and my straight friends had pretty hectic ones. guys can be as emotional (if not more sometimes) as girls. it just depends on the seriousness of the relationship and the kind of emotions involved.

    rebelzz's picture

    I posted something wrong...

    Submitted by
    rebelzz (137 posts)
    on April 13, 2009 - 8:44am.
    Sorry
    rebelzz's picture

    Yikes!

    Submitted by
    rebelzz (137 posts)
    on April 13, 2009 - 8:52am.
    Yikes!
    Yakka's picture

    Eh.

    Submitted by
    Yakka (103 posts)
    on April 13, 2009 - 8:53am.

    When hearts are broken..whether they belong to male or female..they generally hurt.

    It's all about the individual person, despite their gender or sexual orientation, that determines how they'll respond to their situation. The way in which their break-up occured is another important factor.

    There are way to many tangents and what not..

    Either way, breakups suck.

    GATA's picture

    ALL i will say

    Submitted by
    GATA (185 posts)
    on April 13, 2009 - 9:58am.
    Lindsay honey,,,ur single and im single!! come to me and i promise you alot of love!
    Julia's picture

    YAY!

    Submitted by
    Julia (2 posts)
    on April 14, 2009 - 8:52pm.
    Yeah go sam! I hope she finds a girl that looks less like a 12 year old. LMAO!
    Maria's picture

    Lesbian vs. Strait break-ups

    Submitted by
    Maria (2 posts)
    on May 31, 2009 - 11:12pm.

    I haven't ever been in a serious lesbian relationship. And I am Bi. Personally I don' think it would be more difficult with a girl than with a guy. I have met many guys that have the same intensity in their emotions as I do, I have met guys with even more intensity in their emotions than I have. But either way it doesn't seem any different. I haven't gotten emotionally envolved enough to get that badly hurt though, really don't know how bad it gets. 

    I really love Lindsay Lohan.But even if she did like guys, or maybe she does, either way that is besides the point, it would still have the same amoun of drama.

    JoeAnne10's picture

    I feel nothing when I read

    Submitted by
    JoeAnne10 (9 posts)
    on August 17, 2009 - 2:43pm.
    I feel nothing when I read this article because I cannot stand gay and lesbian people. I do not judge them cause it takes too much effort. I don`t understand them as well, but I never wanted to. We are ment to be straight, to live man and woman and this people trying to change the nature law are making me sick. It`s exactly like with those guys from alcohol rebah centers.
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