eHarmony launches Compatible Partners for gay and lesbian datingWhen it comes to the wondrous world of internet dating, there seems to be a site to match every personality. Quirky singles unite on the Onion’s personals site; those looking for the hot, redneck lesbian of your dreams need look no further than redneckandsingle.com. With so many options for the LGBT community, why would we bother with a site that showed disdain for us from the start? Will we welcome the “formerly” anti-gay eHarmony’s new gay site, Compatible Partners, which launched Tuesday, with open checkbooks?
In 2000, we started seeing commercials about an internet dating service that helps folks find true love through a “Compatibility Matching System.” It’s patented, and oh-so-scientific. The site’s founder, Neil Clark Warren, based the system on his experience as a psychologist, where, evidently, he did not encounter any gays. "It's what I did for 40 years," Warren told the Los Angles Times. "I never had a gay couple." For the record, Warren is born-again Christian, and evangelical Christians did much of his site’s promotion. This pissed off many people, but especially the gays, who were not allowed to use the site. The company was slapped with lawsuits alleging discrimination, and in New Jersey — the company settled, and promised to include the gays. And thus Compatible Partners, the gay love child of an anti-discrimination lawsuit in New Jersey, was born. So what now?
In an interview with CEO and founding investor of eHarmony, Greg Waldorf, 365Gay writer Kate X Messer learned that the company wants to make amends with the gay community. “The bad feelings that may have existed in the past — from the gay community to eHarmony — I hope, over time, will dissipate,” Waldorf said. “I realize that we’re starting from a position that not everyone thinks highly of us. And I hope people will judge us based on the service that we offer. I believe that we are going to enter this market with the same commitment and credibility around offering individuals a high-quality way to find long-term relationships. And how we got here, to me, is just not relevant.” Not relevant? I don’t think we feel that way. In what we thought was a possible move to appease its gay critics, eHarmony sponsored Ellen’s version of The Newlywed Game when she had Portia on as a guest in March, but the site actually is sponsoring the entire Newlywed Game series on the Game Show Network, so as Snarker said, it wasn’t exactly a “flash of gay good will.”
In any case, eHarmony is taking a load of heat from conservatives for launching Compatible Partners in the first place. They are accused of pushing the “gay agenda” and being bullied by the government. Are they in a lose/lose situation? As the right-wingers start calling the site Gay Mecca, their evangelical base is sure to falter. And, really, are we going to give our time (and money) to a site that rejected us so vehemently for more than eight years when we can go to sites that included us from the start? Would you use Compatible Partners to find your queer match, or shop elsewhere? Submitted by on April 1, 2009 - 3:00pm. |
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shop elsewhere is what i
shop elsewhere is what i say. eharmony has always seemed to be on the level...leading people to true love. this "compatible partners" thing just sounds thrown together and not the same caliber of matching as the original site.
and why a different site all together? there was no way to adjust the "science" to include gays/lesbians/bisexuals in the matching process on the original site?
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~I am bisexual. You are confused.~
Um, no.
I think I'll continue doing business with those who have supported my community all along. I met my girlfriend through online dating before eHarmony accepted gays and lesbians. Why would we give our money to people who just woke up one day and decided we're good enough for them when there have been plenty of sites that have accepted us all along? I remember Chemistry.com launching ads that seemed to be directed at eHarmony for rejecting gays. Chemistry and many others have accepted "males seeking males" and "females seeking females" for quite a while. If eHarmony disagress with my lifestyle, I don't need some fabricated mea culpa to get my money. eHarmony: just stick with the straights. It's what you're good at. Oh yeah, and your commercials are super-annoying.
http://www.nimzigirls.com
totaly agree
Hmm..
"In any case, eHarmony is taking a load of heat from conservatives for launching Compatible Partners in the first place. They are accused of pushing the “gay agenda” and being bullied by the government."
I love this "gay agenda" crap these people keep claiming. What is that? My only agenda is to have a loving partner, to be who I am and be an equal citizen. How dare I! lol
--
http://www.drunkduck.com/Empathy/
Ha!
I was going to comment on the same thing, Alisha, only I was going to state sarcastically that these crazy conservatives are getting closer to the truth that all we "gays" want to do is take over. *sigh* Hell, I wish we had as much power as they think we do.
never met a pearl quite like you
that could shimmer and rot at the same time through
it's redic
Eh...
Oy. Have you ever actually
Oy. Have you ever actually been on eHarmony? It's a horrible site and a complete rip-off. There are a million better options, even some free good ones.
Add 'Celebridyke' to your LiveJournal for gay media updates and my L Word commentary.
The Eharmony commercials
The Eharmony commercials have always kind of creeped me out. The couples seem so homogenized, even down to their skin and hair color. It has a bit of a stepford feel to me. Does anyone else get that vibe?
Even if I didn't find the commercials so unsettling, as other people have said I would much rather use a dating site that chose to include lgbt instead of being forced by a court.
Don't support them
I don't want to sound like a broken record because I've commented on this new site on the forums and in other blogs, but really I advocate not using the site. eHarmony was originally founded as a 'Christian dating site' (with ties to Focus on the Family) and intentionally disallowed same-sex couples from the site. --And they're still doing that by creating an entirely separate site rather then adding to eHarmony itself. Separate but equal?
I fully believe a portion of the money 'Compatible Partners' generates will go to Focus on the Family and other anti-gay groups. I don't think many California gays contribute money to the Mormon Church -- I don't see this as any different.
_________
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AfterEllen Moderator
I think they just want your money
But I'd rather stay single then try online dating through a compatibility website that said my difference from straight was a problem for them at one time.
Consider where the money is going
Agreed - even if the site they've created is all about helping us "find love", the money we spend will be all about helping them legistlate againsts us.
I'd rather use carrier pigeons to try to find a match, thanks.
Too late.
I agree that this is a purely financial decision for eHarmony. They probably did some research on per capita income or something like that...and said, "HEY! These gays have some dough!"
I found my honey online but didn't mind using a site other than eHarmony. My vote is to tell them to take a hike!
Teh Gays
When you say "the gays" you have spell it "teh gays" for full affect. Just saying LOL
eHarmony can blow me.
I already have a partner and I'm not looking, so I wouldn't use the site anyway. But if anyone I know asks about them, I'll tell them to try a different site and tell them why.
separate is equal?
What I don't like about this this new compatible partners site is that they're putting everything in black and white. There's one site where you can only seek the opposite sex and then a whole separate site where you can seek the same sex. What if someone is bisexual? You have to set up an account on two different sites? I guess that's a criticism of dating sites in general, because most just say man seeking woman or woman seeking woman, but there's no extra options to be man seeking man or woman or whatever. I noticed on the onion that they have a couples option, which is cool for those polyamorous out there. Also, there's never a gender neutral/gender queer option, but I figure it's going to be a loooong while before we jump over that hurdle.
You'll notice on the compatible partners site that if you choose woman seeking man or vise versa, it takes you directly to the eharmony site. Why not just have it all as one site? Are the makers of eharmony afraid to expose its straight customers to its gay ones? Oh no, the horror of being a member of the same dating site as a gay person! I don't know how they'd survive!
Remember eharmony, separate is not equal.
What about the bisexuals?
Another thought
To say "They didn't include us from the beginning, so we're not going to use them now even though they've changed their policies and made an effort to include us now" isn't good. What's their incentive to change if they're met with the same criticism before and after? They made some effort (not including bi people and keeping it seperate was a bad move, but there is SOME progress) and instead we get snooty and say "Well, since it wasn't this way from the beginning, we still don't want any part of it".
If we want companies to change, or individuals for that matter, we have to give them credit for making progress, and encourage them to keep making progress. Show them that it pays off. Show them that including gay people will give them more business, more friends, more respect, than if they didn't include us.
Normally I'd Agree
i second that
I would like to join
Hahaha, I checked it out,
profile
So i signed up..just to see what kinda matches it gave me...and this is what i got. Yep great faith i have in them lol
Unable To Match You At This Time
Compatible Partners is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.
We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.
Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.
Exact Same Result
I had 20 minutes to kill so I filled out the info (fake identity, of course...I don't want these people having any real information on me!) and I got the exact same response. Shocking that two of us have already gotten this when it only happens to 20% of people, huh?
I'll bet it happens to a much higher percentage of gay people.
I'm surprised there wasn't a little message at the end that said, "Well, of course we couldn't find any matches for you, you're just a gay sicko and we are only pretending to do this because of that pesky lawsuit. Silly, silly gay! Thank you for visiting our site though. When you convert from your sinful ways, feel free to visit out real site at eHarmony. Have a pleasant and god-filled day, suckers!"
You've got to be kidding me.
Or, get this: The website launched a total of three days ago and not enough people have joined to match you yet.
But that's impossible! It has to be, like, a big anti-gay conspiracy, right guys?
Just another way
for them to make money...and especially since they were TOLD they HAD to make a site. What the hell is up with that?? lol
those silly christians should be worried...
"Gay Agenda"
By a utilitarian standpoint their move seems purely economic with the times becoming more gay-friendly, they did what was the "smart" move and "opened" their website for the gay community to join in on their site. eHarmony has always rubbed me wrong from the start, I am not the kind of person for a dating website, as the Internet is a great tool for forums, research and whatnot, but serious dating I think shouldn't wholly be based on a website like that, when I personally filled one out of the applications on eHarmony (purely out of curiosity as I knew the was no "lesbian" option) it was rather flat and plain. Seemed to be lacking the quality of getting to interact with someone directly.
Even if they are trying to make "amends", saying to forget about their past is irrational, and quite frankly asking something childish. You shouldn't forget what a company has vested money and time into, it is like asking the LGBT community to forget that a lot of mainstream companies were Pro-Prop 8, it directly affects us, of course we aren't going to forget about it.
Whose to say that when they really start catching the heat from Evangelicals they don't opt out again. I think this was for publicity to get in the good light of the media, and receive some extra profit. I personally also take offense to any organization that uses the word "gay agenda" good or bad, make it sound like the gays and lesbians of the world have a secret to do list, and just has a negative connotation to it.
Is it just me, or does the
Is it just me, or does the name "Compatible Partners" sound a little condescending? :p
Don't worry, it's not just
Im just going to copy/paste
Im just going to copy/paste what I said in another thread;
I agree with the above comment! -which was Harpy's-. Besides,I wouldnt pay for love you know?. Im seriously past the dating site ridiculeness of my teen years, I dont see the point in them no more. It is just seriously a waste of time...why not get out more and socialize, I think those sites are some real sort of social awkardness inducing waste of time -im adding this last bit now-..and a definite waste of money, more even so when they have been kind of forced into it? Its not like if they did it on their own.
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Let it Rock,Let it roll
Meh. I would never join. But
ok cupid!
it's free! which eharmony/ compatrible partners is not, from what i know of it...
and besides the money thing, i wouldnt join either eharmony or compatible partners. i wouldnt want to support an organization that only did the right thing when forced to, after adamently fighting doing just that for so long.
Mad TV eHarmony skit
This article reminded me of Mad TV this past weekend, here's a link to the skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLUhrO7gX8M
Umms......
Hell Eff No!
I met my g/f on Onions Personal Site Nerve.com
She was my third date after two crazy ones and we've been together for almost a year...HELL NO to the eHarmony F*cks!
OhioLezGirlinNYC
http://oh-iolez-girlinnyc.blogspot.com/
I'm in a relationship but if
I'm in a relationship but if I wasn't I wouldn't use eHarmony or Compatible Partners.
I also disagreed with the lawsuits. If they only wanted to offer heterosexual matching, it's their business, right?And there are other companies that offer same-sex matching. I mean, I think it was LAME they didn't offer it, but that's their choice.
That's like me suing Baskin-Robbins because I like burritos and they only sell ice cream. Well, if I want a burrito I should go somewhere else. They have identified their target market and set up their marketing and their business around that target market. If they don't have what I want I should go elsewhere.
And now that they've been forced to offer something that clearly they are not in favor of them I would much rather spend my money with a different company.
And ditto with all of the separate but equal comments.
Amen
I won't use a service that
Sooo what is a good site..
I hear talk of other alternative dating sites, would anyone mind sharing? Haha (no seriously!) I've always wanted to give one a try.. You never know right..
We Never Seem To Quench Our Thirst...
No, I wouldn't use eharmony
www.myspace.com/lunakiss7.com
I would never use eharmanoy's Compatible site. I just closed Chemistry.com. I'm through looking online sites. I need to get out more. So I'll do that.
Go in peace and surrender chaos for it has no place at the seat of your soul.
Has history not taught us anything?
Separate but equal does not work. No, I would never use this due to the whole separate but equal thing. Knowing that the money ultimately goes to eHarmony and like Suze Orman said at the GLAAD awards, support those who support us. And finally, eHarmony has always creeped me out.
yay
Delusional
You don't seriously believe they will have commercials do you? They *don't* support same-sex rights or equality and only launched Compatible Partners because they were forced to by law.
I can't believe anyone here would even consider supporting them.
Use something else!
Match(dot)com worked wonders for me. If I was single right now I'd probably be using them and wouldn't even think about Compatible Partners.
But I've been waiting for a day when a gay couple comes out that they found each other on eHarmony (through some falsifications and such) but still it could happen.
Shop within your community
I dont know...i have a bad feeling about all this. Of course these huge companies can deliver a sound product, but so long as we keep buying, they will continue to produce. I'm much happier supporting an all lesbian run company and give back to the community.
My friends have started a dating site called www.shedate.com
The entire group is run and funded by the lesbian and bi community...and proceeds get invested in further outreach projects.
my fave BLOG @ www.lezzbuzz.com