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If the apocalypse comes, beep her: Women you want by your side

Jamie Lynn

It's the end. That volcano towering over your hometown is about to blow, and you only have an hour to get out of town and save assorted important people and innocent children along the way No, wait. A gang of murderous strangers — or army of the undead, take your pick — is on your tail without adequate exposition, and your assorted armory is out of bullets. Or maybe it's that the asteroid approaches on a collision course, threatening the earth with a dinosaur-like extinction.

In any case, one question remains: Who do you call in an apocalypse? Which hero do you want to help you save the world, then take home afterward to celebrate your survival? Those were questions actually asked by a recent study. (OK, not the one about taking her home. That was me. But really, what's the good of saving the world if you can't snuggle with your honey when it's over?) Here's the only woman to make the top ten:

This I do get. But the winner of the survey was obviously not selected by a lesbian audience: MacGyver. Um, no, though I might let him sacrifice himself for the greater good. Other top selections aren't much better: Indiana Jones, John McClane (Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies), James Bond and Jack Bauer. Clever, all, but nobody I'd want to keep particularly close.

So I'm curious. What would the lesbian survey say? That is, besides anyone who is not MacGyver. Obviously, we can do better, so I'm opening the floor for nominations. Here are my personal picks.

Sarah and Lori mentioned this first one in their "Disastrous Women" edition of She Made Me Watch This! and I agree: Vivica Fox's Jasmine Dubrow-Hiller from Independence Day is a woman you want around after an alien invasion.

Who better to collect and lead a growing band of survivors and save people who deserve it along the way?

To combat extraterrestrial threats themselves, I'd be calling in Sigourney Weaver's Ripley.

She's tough and knows how to properly handle the necessary equipment to get a job done. Just look at her outfit.

If an apocalypse of the natural disaster variety is on its way, having a woman around who can control the weather with her mutant superpowers would be handy. Meteors, volcanoes, tornadoes — Halle Berry's Storm could make them all go away.

You knew a Sunnydale alum would make the list (well, at least those of you who could cite the Buffy episode source of this blog title did). For sheer numbers of apocalypses averted, who can compete? Buffy may be the slayer, but I'm crossing her off the list, because I prefer to face a crisis without any sort of emotional breakdown beforehand. No, I pick Alyson Hannigan's Willow, a woman who can create a new world order with the chant of a single spell.

Also, with Willow, you can take comfort in the knowledge that should you happen to die, she just might flay the bad guy alive and then bring on that apocalypse herself. What? If I can't win, maybe that's the ending I prefer.

Your turn. Who would you call in case of apocalypse?

apollo's blog

Submitted by

Jamie Lynn

on October 8, 2007 - 5:30pm.

TAGS ::

in a heartbeat-

Submitted by

pfl (85 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 5:46pm.

Milla Jovovich's Alice!! And if any one has seen the 3rd Resident Evil... the ending provides quite enough of that!

I agree on Alice!

Submitted by

spotticus (581 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:40pm.

But I would let Xena tag along too. ; )

for sure

Submitted by

oxoxTeGaNxoxo (5 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 9:28pm.

so as i read the title for this the only person (well okay the first person cuz now i've got like ten people in mind) who came to my mind was, obviously Alice. seriously in all of the movies she's awsome even the first one when she's not all jacked up with the t-virus she was still kicking some butt. seriously and the third movie is awsome seriously she is great in it. betta be a 4th

World-o Shaking

Submitted by

dypole (244 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 5:45pm.

I actually would want Lara Croft by my side, since she can probably somersault, flip, and climb us to safety (well, the video game version can, anyway). And, should there happen to be any wolves, bats, bears, lions, or idiot secret society goons around after the world has ended, she can take care of them, too.

And how about two women who have already survived an apocalypse: Starbuck and Laura Roslin of Battlestar Galactica, the latter for her brains and quick thinking under pressure, the former for drunken debauchery and eye candy.

From XMen, I wouldn't pick Storm, but I would pick Jean Grey, but after her whole Dark Phoenix saga, so she'd be strong enough to repel pretty much anything that came our way.

Overall, though, I'd really like every Sailor Senshi from the Sailor Moon manga/anime around in case of an apocalypse. I don't care if they're just cartoons (well, barring the live action version, but, you know), they still have enough power between them to avert many apocalypses.

"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Submitted by

frammie (39 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 5:46pm.

... I think.

And I would bring Buffy herself! She can wield an axe whilst making snarky comments.

That's it

Submitted by

Xanadugrrl (134 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:19pm.

Yep, that's the episode... is it sad I didn't even really need to look it up?

Tara for me

Submitted by

Aljan (34 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 8:25am.

Yeah Buffy could kick some arse, and Willow could avert disaster with a single spell, but for me the only Sunnydale resident that I want by my side is Tara so that I can hide!

If the apocalypse comes...

Submitted by

leishahaha (93 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 5:52pm.

I would call Helena Peabody and we'd go swim in the pool. If I'm going to die, I'm going down wet and happy.

Oh, so you're asking about action heroes? Okay...

River Tam (I can watch her do her ballet-karate thing and then cuddle her to death post-apocalypse)

Hopefully she doesn't go crazy on me but if she does, I'd speed dial Agent Scully on my cell.

lmao! yes..

Submitted by

Ace (27 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:35pm.

yes!..hahaha..Helena or Bette Porter!..Bette doesn't need any powers..i'm pretty sure she could kick anyones ass..

hmm...I would have to say that I would want Jean Gray to be with me..she is amazing and can pretty much do anything..oooo..or Jaime Sommers..the Bionic Woman..not as powerful but it would be cool none the less...

LOL

Submitted by

Keeva99 (139 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:29pm.

Yup, that would pretty much make me forget about the end of the world..lol :D

Great avatar!!!!!

Submitted by

7OF9 (154 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:47pm.

Where did u get it?

Geez I don't remember...

Submitted by

Keeva99 (139 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 1:15am.

...I think I just googled her. I was going through a retro sci-fi stage at the time...lol...it was a toss up between Col. Wilma Deering & Maya :D

Ditto to yours by the way!

In case of...

Submitted by

not without my ... (30 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 5:52pm.

...mean robots on earth - I pick Sarah Connor.

...mean robots in space - I pick Starbuck.

...mean monsters/aliens etc. - I would rely on Faith

I concur

Submitted by

Zefbot (85 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:34pm.

Sarah Connor was the first to come to mind. Then this came to mind:

Yep

Submitted by

Carrie Lyn (25 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 11:29pm.

1st one to come to my mind, too.

One of the Charmed Ones

Submitted by

MsWoo, Moderator (402 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:04pm.

Look at how many times they died and came back. I think I would take Piper out of the sisters.

yup

Submitted by

clonchi (164 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 8:53am.

My first thought was Piper, too.

But it depends on the catastrophe...

I think overall, if there are some creepy monsters around, I would call Selene (Kate Beckinsale) from Underworld. She's hot, she can handle guns AND she's a vampire!

Well...

Submitted by

Blythe (13 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:07pm.

I'd want Xena. (In many ways.)

Hmm, This Is Tough

Submitted by

Angela (144 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:09pm.

I think I'd have to go with Col. Samantha Carter form Stargate SG-1. She is a astrophysicist has extensive knowlege on alien invasions to asteroids headed to earth to inter-galactic travel to time-travel. She's got it all covered. And she's hot, so that's nice, because if your going to die why not go out looking at someone who's cute.

ps..she's already saved the world like 3 or 4 times so...

http://myspace.com/ckhinrich

Hm, I'm thinking, if the world is going to end...

Submitted by

Natazzz (942 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:20pm.

...who cares about all these fake super women...wouldn't you much rather just snuggle up with your girlfriend and really enjoy the few hours you have left?

That said...if it is a buffy kind of apocalypse-the kind where the world almost ends, but not really...I agree with Lara Croft, or even Angelina Jolie for that matter....who can beat that, really?

The top of my list would

Submitted by

yellowpride (55 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 6:31pm.

The top of my list would have to be Buffy and Willow (because they make a damn good team) and then Alice, from the Resident Evil movies. Then, just for good measure, I'd want the Bride, Uma Thurman's character from Kill Bill, and Miho, Devon Aoki's character from Sin City.

Xena

Submitted by

fallon ash (193 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:05pm.

Definitely Xena. Every time.

Zoë Washburn can kick any ass that needs kicking. Aliens, Reevers, megalomaniacs looking to take over the world...

And Barbara "Oracle" Gordon can speak softly in my ear and tell me how to save the world any day.

And yes, Dana Scully too, of course.

Trinity to do my cyber-fighting.

And just for good measure, alhough maybe not on the apocalypse scale, Laura Holt to talk any bad guys to death, and think up strange and sneaky undercover plans.

I would have to say...

Submitted by

sessie (6 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:09pm.

We're Getting Nowhere Vloggers- It seems they know how to party and I for sure want to be drunk for the apocalypse.

So many superheroines, so little time...

Submitted by

Explorergal (462 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:14pm.

Wow.....my first impulse would be Xena. Lordie.....I'll polish her brass any day!

But there are many other heroines I'd love to have save me:

Kudos for Wonder Woman! Lasso me lasso me!

I'll take either Jaimie 'Bionic Woman' you send to me.

Supergirl! Helen Slater wasn't bad, I'd love a new one (not the new one on Smallville tho)

Lara Croft yes!

MMMM Sarge or Hel from short lived Cleopatra series.

Sighhhhh....I'm having a mental block...I know there's more!

Well for me...

Submitted by

Keeva99 (139 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:24pm.

...the only real kind of apocalypse is when there is no more room in hell and the dead decide to get up and walk the earth <shivers> Or you know, through corporate greed, cruelty and stupidity the human population, except for a few remaining survivors, is infected by a virus that turns people into the flesh eating walking dead <shivers> (I hate zombies...Irrational fear: Number 1). In which case I'm gonna need a survival savvy hotty, who will at once have a hard, angry exterior that hides a soft squishy sensitve side and who without a thought will go out her way to protect me untill we escape all the zombies and set up house in the English countryside. So Im thinking Selena from '28 Days Later' cause she is kick-ass and yum, or Alice from RE cause I may need her for her very flexy swinging back-kick (among other things).

DEBS

Submitted by

Chief Vitalstatistix (149 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:52pm.

I'd call in the DEBS + Lucy Diamond (unless it was another one of Lucy's nefarious plots to sink a continent in the first place)

The apocolypse is coming...oh sort of now-ish

Submitted by

starbuck69 (5 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 7:59pm.

Whilst avoiding course work I have actually drawn up a list along this vein. my top five is:

5. Lara Croft, Tomb Raider- this one is both for butt kicking ability and pretty, but she wouldn't be any good unless someone was stealing an ancient relic to end the world with

4. Laura Roslin, Battlestar Galactica- no one can beat the president in a fight of wills, but she's also head strong and resourceful, plus she has the hot older woman thing going, no complaints on either front.

3. Starbuck, Battlestar Galactica-no competition when it comes to hand to hand combat or dog fights in the air. Plus I must admit I wouldn't mind her face being the lat one I saw.

2. River Tamm, Firefly- The girls hot, kicks but and doesn't even know she's doing it. This is the one person on earth I'd call as the apocolypse comes. Besides, if worst comes to worse we coud always fly off somewhere far far away and hide some where for a very very long time.

1. Willow Rosenburg, Buffy- I got the quote and I love the girl. Power, brains and strength, there's not many people I know who wouldn't want her around chanting spells in their last moments on earth (esecially not the kind she chants in 'once more with feeling'. Two geeks could so totally save the world, and make it a better place, one devoid of people who think MacGyver could save them...

i like my heroes

Submitted by

saloprix (54 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:02pm.

tall, dark, deadly, and needless to say, gorgeous, which means i'd love for xena to be at my side during an apocalypse.

i also wouldn't complain if michelle rodriguez's character (diana guzman) from girlfight was one of my partners--she's scrappy and tough.

and i definitely wouldn't protest if leeloo, from the fifth element, lent a hand.

and lara croft could definitely raid my...okay, shutting up now.

Seriously?

Submitted by

jennifer from p... (1259 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:04pm.

Me. Other than me, Faith.

Most definitely Xena, I

Submitted by

wanderrerr (192 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:04pm.

Most definitely Xena, I mean, the woman could fight a thousand men single handedly, and look uber hot doing it.

Actually...

Submitted by

joelle (19 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:11pm.

MacGyver doesn't sound so bad. Just because that show was HILARIOUS.

Hmmm...

Submitted by

stephanie b (18 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:32pm.

Magical evil forces: Piper (from Charmed) and Willow

Supernatural creatures: Faith

Psychologically traumatized, flesh-eating space marauders: Zoe and River

And if I need general muscle/knowledge of operating machinery/someone who looks really frakking hot while doing it: Starbuck

MacGyver?!

Submitted by

Doc McG (58 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:32pm.

Good grief!

I'm shocked that Sarah Connor didn't make that list. I mean, seriously, if this were Taboo and someone said "fictional character + apocalypse survival" that'd be the first person I'd name.

Other candidates include Jaime Sommers v1.0 (because, no kidding, I just watched Doomsday is Tomorrow), Samantha Carter, Alice, Ripley, and Willow Rosenberg.

The I-Might-Rather-Die list includes: Lara Croft vAJ (because her boobs are distracting and her accent is fake) and Jaime Sommers v2.0 (because her boobs are distracting and her accent is fake).

I was thinking ...

Submitted by

hmmm (161 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:48pm.

I was thinking Trinity from The Matrix and Hermoine Granger from Harry Potter.

Good call on Piper from Charmed -- didn't think of her at first.

Any type of apocalypse....

Submitted by

7OF9 (154 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:50pm.

definitely Seven of Nine, yeah i'm that predictable :)

I don't know if this counts but...

Submitted by

fern freak (28 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 8:57pm.

I'd hope Sailor pluto was somewhere in the vacinity, or one of those robot chicks from kyoshiro to towa no sora any chick that can morph into an super powerful robot or just get a massive sword arm is awesomeness encarnate, or police girl then I might find out what it's like to be a vampire for a bit untill I get brained by a falling lava rock or something.

MacGyver haha

Submitted by

Pudge (46 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 9:11pm.

Have we forgotten that Patty of Patty & Selma fame on The Simpsons is a lesbian and loves her some MacGyver. :)

That being said..I really don't know who I'd want..I guess I'd enjoy hanging out with Ana of the 2004 Dawn of the Dead fame..portrayed by the lovely Sarah Polley. My respect for her grew after the first 15 minutes of that movie. She handled herself well. As well as anyone can in that situation anyhow.

Yay for zombies!

Sydney Bristow.

Submitted by

Katherine (192 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 9:24pm.

Or Ripley. Or Mystique (she turned good later! And even if she were bad who cares). Or Xena, but I don't know if she could handle all this snazzy future technology stuff. (Not to be blasphemous or anything..)

omg, inbd

Shalimar Fox

Submitted by

Nirvada (6 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 9:50pm.

From Mutant X or Max from Dark Angel

The title...

Submitted by

Ladyhawk1709 (97 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:10pm.

...reminds me that I should have another Buffathon soon...

As for who I would beep if there was an apocalypse... Hmm... All of the above :D

Xena!!!

Submitted by

xena_rulz (5 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:13pm.

The Warrior Princess would be my first call.... And Gabrielle too :P

Willow...

Submitted by

imaginary (15 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:14pm.

without a doubt. and she is the only one i want :)

Willow. She could fight

Submitted by

BAS (271 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:29pm.

Willow. She could fight pretty much any kind of apocalypse. Plus, she might actually be up for the "take her home afterward" bit. =)

Then Faith, Trinity, Scully, Buffy, Zoe, The Charmed Ones (they gotta go together!), and Gabrielle and Xena.

I love the greeks, but let's face it, an apocalypse will probably have technology they won't be able to deal with as quickly as the others.

sidney bristow,

Submitted by

cris (72 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:49pm.

sidney bristow, definitedly... hermione granger and mrs. jane smith

uhhh....................

Submitted by

karen n. encarnacion (47 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:51pm.

Pretty sure the only acceptable answer is Buffy. Or Faith and Buffy.

in other news, Eliza came into my friend's work a month ago or so [tequila bar in SF] and cori [my friend] was trying so hard not to laugh.. cause she knows how much I used to love faith and buffy! ..... and she kept picturing a stake in her hand... hahaha.

uhhh....................

Submitted by

karen n. encarnacion (47 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 10:51pm.

Pretty sure the only acceptable answer is Buffy. Or Faith and Buffy.

BUFFY of course. i mean she

Submitted by

willowisadorable (199 posts)

on October 8, 2007 - 11:01pm.

BUFFY of course. i mean she clearly has the most experience in the whole apocalypse situation. after that it's have to be willow (where's a slayer without her sidekick/bff) or ripley (sigourney weaver) or sydney bristow

I reckon the Brave One would be handy...

Submitted by

notshane (244 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 12:08am.

Jodie Foster, after her last 3 action movies: Panic Room, Flight Plan and Brave One.

As a close second: Katee Sackhoff as Starbuck

Warner Brothers says "No more women in lead!"

Submitted by

Alisha (14 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 1:08am.

WOAH. Has anyone seen this???

http://www.hollywoodchicago.com/2007/10/hollywood-suicide-warner-bros-decrees.html

I actually have no comment. I'm incredibly angry to say the least.

This can't be right...

Submitted by

Keeva99 (139 posts)

on October 9, 2007 - 1:37am.

...who in their right mind would say this? Oh wait im presuming stupid male, money hungry, corporate movie mongrels are in their right mind..Such a blantant attack! Well,

"If that studio confirms that their policy is to now exclude women as leads, then my policy would be to boycott films made by Warner Bros.”

I'm there with my banner baby! Yer ha...

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