The first gay "Playboy" playmate is engaged to a man

I don't think she is bisexual which only means........ b!tch.

You know, I totally support the right of anyone to date, marry, screw, etc any person of any gender, any way they want. I also really hate the biphobia that so pervades our lesbian community, and confront biphobia as much as I can whenever I see such, because bisexuals get so much shit from both the gay and straight communities.

But I have to say, identifying as lesbian and nonetheless marrying a man? That unsettles me and bothers me quite a bit ... because politically it really contributes to reinforcing and maintaining the old bigoted line of "all a lesbian needs is the right man" ... it devalues our sexuality, our identities, and our right to be taken for who and what we are. It contributes to the idea that it's just a phase till the right guy comes along (who hasn't heard that from their family or friends?).

I am so happy for Ms Adams that she has found the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with, regardless of the genitals that person has between their legs. We should all be so lucky as to find that kind of love. But I will thank her for nothing for damaging how lesbians are seen in the mainstream world ... ugh.

Sarah 

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http://kiwi-grrl.livejournal.com/

She has got to be one of the biggest hypocrites because to say you're a lesbian, and then marry a dude??? like what is that all about?? Is he like rich or something? It's cool that she found someone that she loves, but she can't say she's a lesbian now. That's all I'm saying. She's bi.

www.myspace.com/guitarrachica

I've never  heard of Lesbians coming out as bisexuals later, that's just bisexuals who didn't realize the truth in the first place.  Interesting how she never said that she is no longer a lesbian, just that she married a nice guy.  I didn't sense alot of passion for her partner in that excerpt.

Or maybe no lesbians believed she was gay, and didn't want to date her lol. 

My secret confessions.  I've been following Ms. Adams for quite sometime.  I have been so thrilled that she said she was a Lesbian.  At the back of my mind had my suspicions about her b/c she posed for playboy. I've seen a photograph of one of her ex-girlfriends, a very butch Italian-American buisness womyn. At that time, that I've seen the photograph she and her girlfriend had broken up.  According to press(I don't recall which one it was) she was  sad about it.

This news is like a shock but I shouldn't been so taken aback.  I just wish she had came out as bisexual instead.

Again, I wish the best for her.  If Rubyfruit Jungle, the Lesbian bar in NYC,  wasn't around anymore I wondered if the owner would had removed her picture from the wall b/c of this annoucement.

Yes I've been to RBFJ. Awesome place! 

twitter me @ www.twitter.com/brownskinfaery

Sexuality is fluid. Shane said that. I agree. I was "bisexual bridging" when I was first coming out and it was really hard to identify myself as a lesbian.

Now, I do identify myself as a lesbian. I love women. But I also like the way men look (from the waist up). 

They say that you marry your best friend. Maybe he's her best friend and she finds him attractive enough to sleep with. 

I cannot judge.LGBTQ people have faced so much drama from loving who they love. Why are we now giving her so much shit for loving who she loves?

I agree a 1000% on that.  She shouldn't be judged. Any negative press outlet or crazed-radical gay reformist will use this story  to bully low-self-esteem Gay people to say being Gay is wrong and yes you can change.

 It's that LGBTQI comm have long ways to go to defend themselves against such attacks.

If you see the flip side of this.

I still wish her the best though. 

twitter me @ www.twitter.com/brownskinfaery

If a person takes me less seriously because of people like Stephenie Adams, it's their problem not mine.

She came out of as a lesbian, guess what, I'm still a lesbian.

She plans to get married to a man, guess what, I'm still a lesbian.

Whatever she does or any famous LBGT figure does, does not change who I am. Sure it's annoying but I think it's more important that people we know personally know we are gay (come out) than a celebrity.

I wish her happiness and I cannot judge her, I don't run her life and she does not run mine.

I think any time a celebrity, yes even a playboy model, comes out and says "I'm gay, bi, lesbian, trans" people in the LGBT community become excited because they have someone who is out and proud or more importantly opens up the door for us to be seen as "regular" people. The issue with Ms. Adams is that she made money off of being the only "out lesbian playboy model" and then she's getting married to a man.  I agree that sexuality is fluid and she probably labeled herself too early.  I don't care one way or the other whom she decides to marry. However, this article made it seem like she wanted to settle down and have kids and that's not the lesbian way. I must admit, I am in a civil-union, therefore settled down, and don't have kids, but if/when they do come into the picture, I don't need to marry a man for that. What I would like to see is Ms. Adams get married, have kids, be happy and STILL be a vocal supporter of LGBT rights and be supported BY the LGBT community for her own decision.

this means she was never a lesbian.  She was bi (or bicurious) or straight.

Everyone has the right to change their mind but this sucks for lesbian visibility.

And all these people screaming "biphobia, biphobia"...what I have to say is fuck that. Lesbians (who ONLY sleep with other women) can have whatever opinions we want about anything we want.  Its not biphobia to get irritated when shit like this happens.  It's an opinion.  You have yours, I have mine.

Interesting...I did'nt know there was a playboy lezzy...huh weird.

Anyways. My thing is, it's her life she can marry whoever she feels is right for her. Sure, i feel like she probably lied to get more fans and more monye, but It's not my place to judge. Her marrying a guy is not going to make me suddenly not like BO.OBIES!!. So hey whatevershedoeswhatshewants(South Park moment hehe)...

True feelings can never be put into words.
therfore when you can't explain how you feel about someone that's when you know..

I had no idea who she was until I saw this article, but I wish her good luck and congratulations on her engagement!

I obviously see how the tired old "all lesbians need is..." cliche popping up, but as another poster wrote, that's a discussion that the bigots will have. I think she is who she is, and regardless of who she's with it won't change! I just can't believe I'm now just finding out about this!

Just because we fit into a specific role, it doesn't mean we have to live by it. She's a lesbian. She's chosen to marry a man and have his child(ren) and it's a choice between the two of them. There could be a million reasons that led to this decision and I think it's unecessary to degrade her because of it. Personally, I don't consider this a typical lesbian lifestyle but it's her life, not mine. If we [LGBT] read too much into this, so will everyone else. I think it's important for us to be just as accepting as we want everyone else to be of us.

she is, and whoever she loves,I don't care.

I can understand the hiding, because just look at the hick hack just on this site!

Let's do numbers now:

If she really liked Xena with sixteen already and never dated a man until her future hubby, lived a Lesbain Life, dated women most of her adult years, fought the good fight, and fell, for one man, only, but the one she saw her soulmate in, regardless of Gender..that's Bi?

Honestly, I think Lesbian is something you grow into, there is a social implication involved in the word,for me.I know what Lilith fair is, and I've never been there..

I have Lesbian friends, who fell for a man, and seriously doubted who they were.

They're still Lesbians, if they want to be.

Who is to say?

Definitely not me.

If they don't want to label themselves as Bi, fine.

And those never touching another but one gender, and defining themselves as Bi?

Fine by me,too.

Labels are always for the outside, never for one oneself, love just happens sometimes, and sexuality, maybe really is fluid.

Who's to say?

What about all these women coming out as Lesbians later in life, or still being Lesbians and yet still sleeping with men occasionally?

It's different, it might not be a 100% so really that's  Bi?

I don't know, and it's none of my business..not even if she posed in the playboy, built her career on it, whatever..

I think since there are so many beautiful openly out Ladies out there these days, we don't need to worry, that anyone might think we'll all be straight in the end..

And those,who actually might, are the type of men who might buy the playboy..and even if she were to raise adopted Chinese Babies in a trailer park with Shane right now(L Word quote, don't shoot me!), they'd still think that.

I ,for one, still hope for the coming out of one or the other "straight"  pretty Lady,and there have been quite a few,  so I guess, fair's fair...

I think all the labels we use or that are used on us always have a meaning that goes far beyond the dictionary meaning.

And it's indivually formed.