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Dorothy Snarker

"The Real L Word" looks for lesbians like in that other "L Word"

Hey, lesbians, wanna be on TV? Actually, do you wanna get real on TV? Well, more accurately, wanna get as real as you can get in Los Angeles in a production by The L Word impresario Ilene Chaiken on TV? See, there’s always a catch.

An open casting call has been posted for The Real L Word: Los Angeles, Mama Chaiken’s new TLW reality spin-off. Magical Elves, the production company teaming with Chaiken and behind hits like Top Chef and Project Runway, did not return inquiries to confirm the item posted at Boxed Lunch, an L.A. lesbian site. But it is worded similarly to other known casting calls for the show making the rounds so it could be legit.

So what are Chaiken and her elves looking for? Per the casting call: “A group of real-life, high-profile, left coast lesbians” who are based in or moving to L.A. and are “every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as their celebrated-but-fictional counterparts.”

Or, as they put it “proof the The L Word exists in real life.”

Um, since they seem to want to create a de facto seventh season, could they bring back Dana? We miss her terribly.

You can read the rest over of the item over at Boxed Lunch. Or you can take this handy questionnaire based on the actual casting call’s criteria. Please remember to fill out your answers in No. 2 pencil. And no cheating off the test of the cute girl in front of you.

Do you want to be on “groundbreaking television?”
If yes, are you sure you don’t want to apply for Mad Men instead?

Do you have “the power of Bette?”
If yes, call me.

Do you have “the mojo of Shane?”
If yes, you’re way too busy to call me.

Do you and your partner want “to adopt?”
If yes, consider keeping this private moment private because the lesbian-seeking-baby storyline — while important — is way overexposed.

Do “all the bouncers in WeHo know your name?”
If yes, you can reach the Betty Ford Center at (800) 434-7365.

Do you want to come out of the closet to “help others by sharing your journey?”
If yes, you should know that you rarely start making out immediately with someone as hot as Marina. (What? I’m just being helpful.)

Do you carry a card that reads “power lesbian?”
If yes, it doesn’t count if you made it yourself and got it laminated at Kinko’s.

If you qualify, Magical Elves wants to hear from you at casting@magicalelves.com (include a photo).

Are you interested? Are they really looking to fill the exact same roles as the fictional series? Oh, Ilene, Ilene. You’re just bound and determined to wring every last drop of blood from the letter “L,” aren’t you?

Comments

jeepdawg_34's picture

Heh!

As long as IC keeps wringing it out it will be food for fodder. Ugh!

"Do you want to come out of the closet to “help others by sharing your journey?”
If yes, you should know that you rarely start making out immediately with someone as hot as Marina. What? I’m just being helpful." This just make me giggle uncontrollably....heehee!

Cheers!

Mel's picture

should also add

possibilities of you dying by the end of the show are quite high, and we might never find out who killed you lol 

 

"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino 

L's picture

I bet their are a lot of

I bet their are a lot of Shane out there trying for the part. I am Not really looking forward to this show. It might still be a hit but I am gonna skip it. I'll just read it at ae.
TehMorp's picture

wanna-be shanes you mean.

The person who said, "Well, I don't know what it is we're competing for, but whatever it is you win[, I'm gonna go make out with two hot girls]" a) does not identify as "a shane" and b) would not be on a reality show; i.e. if you think you're shane, you're wrong by definition.
mildlypeeledpotatoes's picture

oh, just when i thought i

oh, just when i thought i couldnt hate her more.....
Mags's picture

Amen.

Amen.  

 

Very occasionally, if you pay attention, life doesn't suck.
-Joss Whedon

Fish Sticks's picture

I'm afraid...

That could not be me in that picture, i'd have my hand on Shanes arse if it was me :D.

's picture

...is it possible

 that one woman could annoy me THIS much?

What's gonna happen if THIS show sucks as much as the 2nd, 3rd and 6th season of TLW?  Give Chaiken the privilege of blaming it on the "real-ness" of the show?  xP  I can already see it: it'll be hella good half-way through the 1st season, which will end in a terribly ODD fashion.  Then, the 2nd season will be even weirder.  The 3rd will be experimental w/ drama overload.  4th and 5th will salvage the clusterfu*ck that were the previous seasons, with the 6th being a "HUH?  WTF???"  And why am I so confident there'll be a 6th?  Because none of the producers will realize just how epically lame Chaiken's (schizophrenic) "visions" are.  Don't need to watch it.  Show = Fail.  

I need romance like I need an ass hole on my elbow.

ws's picture

what about

an italian girl :D ?
Bruna Louise's picture

!

I hope there's more Bettes than Shanes!
Lauren's picture

 I'd say I was more of a

 I'd say I was more of a Bette :D

 

 

 

 

Go here for my view on all things lesbian: http://allthingslesbeau.blogspot.com

Lucylex's picture

Does not understand Ilene

Ok, so i am happy to hear about this show, it should be very interesting to watch real life lesbians.  But i have heard Ilene say that the "L Word" show does not depict what real lesbians are like in real life.  So i am confused to the fact that she wants a reality show depicting the same kind of characters in the L Word.  Sometimes she doesn't make any sense to me. 
AJ's picture

Ditto

I agree. But also I mean...with Shane, would a girl really want to live up to Shane's reputation? Coz they may feel that they need to...and would they really want people to see that on reality tv? I mean it was such a huge part of who Shane was, a total womanizer albeit an extremely sexy one. Maybe I'm being too analytical but I'm studyling labelling theory in Sociology at the moment so..
popeye's picture

this is going to be..

an epic fail. If it's going to imitate the L word characters, then It's probably going to be filled with LOTS promiscuity and cheating, and end up giving the general public a bad representation of lesbians...but hey it might actually end up being great...guess it could go either way. 

K's picture

Reality television manages

Reality television manages to make anyone look slutty and promiscuous. I have very little faith that this will be positive for the lesbian community. It'll probably watch like an episode of girls gone wild... but in power suits.
Arielle's picture

Please.

Ilene-

Stop.

 

(I miss the original L Word.... *whimper*)

FOJOLICIOUS's picture

No kidding...

"Ilene - Stop"

 

No kidding on that one, Arielle. 

And btw, what the hell is Chaiken wearing in that photo with Jennifer & Kate?  Yikes, not flattering...

Emmanescence's picture

:-/

This project is getting more creepy and lame by the minute.  Can't say I won't check it out just out of curiosity and the hunger for queer women on tv...but still..blech.

www.myspace.com/emmahuntermusic

Emmanescence's picture

Double post

and I can edit this post but I don't know how to remove it...sorry guys!!
tamara's picture

This is really stupid.

This is really stupid.
ElusiveJ's picture

Questions they should have asked:

Are you a professional athlete in the closet who may or may not be suffering from a fatal illness?
Are you a closeted member of the armed forces? (We'll blur your face!)
Are you a dean at a prestigious college looking for the perfect way to come out to your husband of forty years? (If not, does this sound like your mother?)
Have you ever bought a dying animal to try and break up someone else's relationship?
Are you actually drowned in a pool already and just looking for a chance to flashback your final months?

Ponyboy's picture

those questions

are really awesome . . . .
Wondergirrl's picture

HAHAHHA

That was seriously hilarious!! :))

 

 

"I believe that I will be with one person for the rest of my life, but that person will be a woman." Luce-Imagine Me&You

(\_ _/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Sparkles's picture

LOL

LOL. Let's not forget to ask:

 

Are you a straight woman, who only hangs out with lesbians because your sister is one? Who only talks in jive? Who fell in love with a Drag King, and then eventually dates a drag queen who you didn't know was this fine straight man? 

 

 

 

 

Want to pioneer the next facebook, google, you tube? ... YOU CAN. AND GET PAID FOR IT!

http://ad.buildblastoffsuccess.com
Style Geek's picture

Are you the token bisexual in a group of lesbian women?

Yes! It was a ferret. Does that make me interesting enough???
"Blur your face" - priceless


(-__-') oh Ilene - just let it be. You failed with Season 6. We're not gonna forgive you and we're not gonna forget - no matter how many Shanes and Bettes and Helenas you throw at us.

But, please, my bed is open so you can keep throwing them. :-p


- + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -
http://style-geek.blogspot.com
Love, Life, & the Pursuit of Fashionable People

Ryuu's picture

I'd rather give it a try &

I'd rather give it a try & see it for myself... :-)
Shauna Kaye's picture

I definitely miss Dana...

"Um, since they seem to want to create a de facto seventh season, could they bring back Dana? We miss her terribly."

YES we do... at least I do! Dana was my favourite character on The L Word and it absolutely SUCKS that she had to die... because she didn't. she didn't have to die. and from what i've read, no one was happy about that decision. not Erin, not any of the other actresses and pretty much none of the fans.

*Kiki*'s picture

So stupid Chaiken

I could definitly see the cast of the L word rolling their eyes right this moment.

_________ 

vivono nella speranza

K's picture

Although this is just a

Although this is just a reality show, are you willing to die midway through the season to boost the ratings?
Smagninborg's picture

Don't, just don't.

Oh boy...Stop it, Ilene! If she really doesn't stop, there will be nothing left to squeeze out of the concept except for a blend taste of something what first was originally special. It will be lame and disgraceful.
Marie Debo's picture

Haha...awesome blog!!:D I

Haha...awesome blog!!:D

I don't know, everyone seems so disapproving of Ilene Chaiken now. When so many people show their dislike for the same person, I'm always the one to defend this person..; )

I am still grateful for what Ilene has done. And after all I don't know her situation and why exactly she is doing what she is doing right now. But I think she has the right to do, whatever she wants to do. Just like everyone else has this right. And if I don't like it - I won't watch it. Am I to plain?

Ilene- I'm still proud of you. There...I said it.; )

Ich atme den Beat-
Ich fühle den Bass-
Ich singe das Lied-
mit.

Ryuu's picture

I totally agree with you...

Admit it or not The L Word was a huge success and we owe Ilene for that. Well, she's not forcing her projects on us. We remain the lords of our remote controls so if it disgusts us, just change the channel--- as easy as that... no big deal.

There are alot of tv shows outta there-- many of 'em are freaking annoying and we barely even notice it. I don't think this new series would hurt us. Anyway, none of us ever had glimpse of it or know what exactly Ilene is upto. Let's give her a chance... :-)

TehMorp's picture

Do we?

Do we owe here, or does she owe us?
<3TiBette<3's picture

I have to agree.  Whatever

I have to agree.  Whatever season 6 was or wasn't, what about seasons 1 thru 5?  Not to mention, I thought there were some good episodes in season 6 as well, LMFAO for one had me, well, L(ing)MFAO :)  I'm not a reality t.v. fan as a rule, but I'm going to have to support Mama C on this venture. 

 Mama C, I too am proud of you!  We all make mistakes :)

<3TiBette<3's picture

I have to agree.  Whatever

I have to agree.  Whatever season 6 was or wasn't, what about seasons 1 thru 5?  Not to mention, I thought there were some good episodes in season 6 as well, LMFAO for one had me, well, L(ing)MFAO :)  I'm not a reality t.v. fan as a rule, but I'm going to have to support Mama C on this venture. 

 Mama C, I too am proud of you!  We all make mistakes :)

Kate's picture

Uh..

Shouldn't The Real L Word set out to prove that lesbians aren't like those displayed on The L Word?

You know, not catty, vindictive,murderous stereotypes?

Instead of having The L Word [as much as I loved...the first seasons] live vicariously through reality television why not display lesbians of all different colors,shape,size,creed,class,style,etc,etc... 

 

''Now introducing The Real L Word, starring Jesse, Nina, Bev, Karina, Shaun, Alyse, and Helen."

Style Geek's picture

Can I be Jesse? o.O

I agree wholeheartedly. Instead of proving that real lesbians are "every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as their celebrated-but-fictional counterparts" we should show how diverse were are and how the diversity plays apart in our interaction.

I've known girls that are sooo femme, they won't even look at another girl in skirt (and I've been turned down by them lol). I've known girl who wear their strap-ons in publc! And, yes, we all know that glamorous, career-driven lez we wanna date/do/be. And we're catty sometimes. I just hope for the sake of lesbians everywhere, they potray a well-rounded group. 

- + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -
http://style-geek.blogspot.com
Love, Life, & the Pursuit of Fashionable People

lesbian scales's picture

I don't think so...

No self-respecting women would expose herself to the world just so pyscho Chaiken can say I told you so. Give it up, stop trying to find the real L word. 

TehMorp's picture

Someone so obsessed with fake lesbians doesn't seem quite right.

I officially accuse IC of not even being a real lesbian, just someone who identified a potential "artistic" niche that could be exploited. Seriously, everything's starting to make sense...

 ;p

theycallmeyellowmellow's picture

haha

Your right, i see the light. IC is a Fake lesbian! we've caught you Ilene...
Candice's picture

I can't believe this is for

I can't believe this is for real.

I would rather watch a Barb Wire 2. 

Sparkles's picture

How can I say it any better than my sisters before me?

 

Give it up Ilene... Give it up.

 

 

Want to pioneer the next facebook, google, you tube? ... YOU CAN. AND GET PAID FOR IT!

http://ad.buildblastoffsuccess.com
theycallmeyellowmellow's picture

Oh God.

I'm Cringing just Thinking about it. Watching it is going to be like torture. I can just see a wannabe shane now trying to chat  up some hot girls. oh dear god Ilene stop it!
Sparkles's picture

Wanna-be's

Could we call them the wanna-be's?  Wanna-be Bette, wanna-be Alice, wanna-be Helena...

 

 

 

 

 

Want to pioneer the next facebook, google, you tube? ... YOU CAN. AND GET PAID FOR

IT!

http://ad.buildblastoffsuccess.com
theycallmeyellowmellow's picture

The Wanna-be's

I Think we can

i mean what self respecting lesbian would wish to be known as a wanna-be?

sparkly underwater 's picture

look at all that botox

i should've become a dermatologist
afan's picture

Let it Go

We've all been in bad relationships. When your young you hang on and keep trying to make that square peg - well you know. As you mature you learn that sometimes and this is sure one of them; say your sad, painfull, farewell and just keep on walking.

No thanks to anything from IFC...

Chi's picture

"Shouldn't The Real L Word

"Shouldn't The Real L Word set out to prove that lesbians aren't like those displayed on The L Word?

You know, not catty, vindictive,murderous stereotypes?"

Thats what I was thinking as well. I dont care about the L Word much a reality version isin't a big deal to me..

But it will be fun watchng a wanna-shane act out ;) Who would miss a chance to see people make fun of themselves on national tv ;)

What Im wondering is, will Illene choose someone who looks and behaves exactly like a character, eevn ethnicity? Will she choose a black 'shane' wannabe? I'd like to see a stud chat up someone hah! an asian lesbian bette?  If not, ahh well. Would haev been interesting.

dr_tinkywinky's picture

Moving to LA?

I smell a Jenny character here.  I can just imagine the audition:

Fake/Real Jenny: I'm moving to LA to be with my boyfriend, but lately I've been having all the *feelings* about the girlies. I'm sure I could go lesbian. 

Chaiken: How well do you swim?

F/R Jenny: Um... not that well... But I like dogs.

Mel's picture

"Chaiken: How well do you

"Chaiken: How well do you swim? "

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So true

 

"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino 

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