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Lesbian movies in three lines or lessHave you ever walked out of a movie and thought, “Damn, I can sum that whole thing up in three lines or less”? Well, so did those clever bookish types at McSwenney’s. They recently summed up famous films in three lines of dialogue or less. The results for classics like Citizen Kane, The Philadelphia Story and The Godfather was inspired. That, of course, got me thinking about all the
So, without further ado, here is a sampling of lesbian movies in three lines or less: Paulie: But I love you.
Loretta: Can a lesbian movie be so bad it turns you straight? Rachel: Yes. Entire Cast: We need acting lessons. Now it’s your turn. Hit me with your Submitted by on June 24, 2008 - 1:00pm. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
Go Fish
I wish I had read your summary of the movie before wasting several hours of my life. It's so true.saving face
wil: i work too much and harbor way too much chinese daughter guilt.
vivian: my dad is your boss. have you seen how bend-y i am?
ma: i dont speak a lick of english. im pregnant. im moving in.
LOL
awesome ^5 on that one.
Haha. Too true. I love that
Haha. Too true. I love that movie!
Tegan: Everytime I see it, I just want to punch her in the face because I'm so excited for her.
Kissing Jessica Stein
Jessica: I'm far too neurotic and ditzy to ever snag a guy. Anyway,they all suck ass.
Helen: Hey,I'm a cute bicurious chick-fancy a dabble?
Jessica: It was great while it lasted but I prefer dick. (surprise surprise)
Hahahahahaha!
Better Than Chocolate
Kim: Can I paint you...and then move in?
Maggie: Sure, but we have to let my newly divorced mother and sexually curious brother know I'm gay without actually saying it by having loud amazing sex on my couch.
Kim: I love you even though I've known you for 3 days or so. *kiss*
So true.
ack cant stop...
Girl talk:
entire cast: we know we cant act so we're just going to literally read the mediocre script to you.
April's Shower:
entire cast: awkward. script. bad. acting.
Bound:
corky: im bad news.
Violet: i like 'em bad. can you check my pipes?
ceasar: who knew marrying the mob would end so badly?
DEBS
Amy: i shouldnt be here right now
Lucy: (rolls eyes) have you seen how well i rock these bangs?
Janet: oh my god, is that my sweater?
oooh these are fun
but why are so many of those old 90s movies SO awful? so much melodrama, so many actresses who really shouldnt have left their day jobs. i usually like indie movies, but i have to admit a lot were just plain crap. we need more movies like bound, saving face, debs and imagine me and you!
DEBS Amy: i shouldnt
DEBS
Amy: i shouldnt be here right now
Lucy: (rolls eyes) have you seen how well i rock these bangs?
Janet: oh my god, is that my sweater?
Yeah, right. I go on with that.
D.E.B.S.
Nina's Heavenly Delights
Lisa: Lets make curry, then lets make-out. Why wont you make-out with me in front of your mum?
Bobbi: Uh uh girrrlfriend. Follow your heart. Okay! Now lets dance!
love it!!!
pic
Hey, you know your displays pic is tootaly cool!!! Where is that from, a film...what??
tc
take care:)
Whoa!
"Rachel: I love my new husband. Whoa, check out the florist."
That is such a great line! And so typical for the movie. Loved that!
Loving Annabelle
Annabelle: I know it's illegal for teachers to have sex with their students, but it's okay because we're lesbians
Simone: Well, I'll play hard to get for a while, just to cover our bases
Mother Immaculata: If I'm not having sex, no one is having sex, so Simone you're fired
smithsayswhat.blogspot.comThe funniest think I've
The funniest think I've read all day (probably because I can see this dialogue happening)
This was SPOT ON! Nice
This was SPOT ON! Nice one!
I always feel guilty for wanting them to get together- it's so wrong!
Too Funny
Annabelle: I know it's illegal for teachers to have sex with their students, but it's okay because we're lesbians
The best recap of a movie I've read in a long time. And so true. Thanks for the laugh!
Niceee!
I agree :P totally!!
Loving annabelle
Mother Immaculata: If I'm not having sex, no one is having sex, so Simone you're fired
this is so funny. haha.
Loving Annabelle
Annabelle: I'm a rebel and I smoke a lot, and that teacher is hot, MEOW!
Simone: Being a Catholic teacher, falling for your student is wrong, but what the heck, Ill do it
Kat: Making out with Annabelle was hot, but seeing as she's with Simone, I'll tell the authorities and end the movie.
http://lookatmetheonewhofellover.blogspot.com/
Personal Best
Troy: You want to come to my place, smoke pot and make out
Chris: She didn't mean to Hurt me
Troy: Not bad for a guy
Producing Adults
Venla: Honey don't run. That's my biological clock ticking (so loudly), not a time bomb.
Antero: Here sweetie, I made you some tea.
Satu: Antero's not the only game in town; you need my help. ;-)
My Summer of Love
Mona: My brother's a born again Christian, so obviously I need to start kissing girls
Tamsin: My sister is dead and my parents are never home, let's spend a few days having medicore sex
Mona: You're sister isn't really dead and you're a psychopath, I guess my brother was right about lesbians
smithsayswhat.blogspot.comspot on!!!
"Mona: You're sister isn't really dead and you're a psychopath, I guess my brother was right about lesbians"....so I'm gonna try and drown you as revenge for screwing me over!!
such a pointless film!!!
Fucking Amal (Show Me Love)
Agnes: I'm gay and high school sucks, but Elin is a sexy mess.
Elin: I'm bored. I've already made out with every guy in this town, but I'd really like to suck face with that new loner Agnes.
Agnes: Shit, is every girl going to mess with me so much before she finally realizes I'm her man.
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love
Randy: Trig sucks, I'm going to smoke pot instead.
Evie: Really? That's fascinating! Let's hang out... and then have sex in my mother's bed.
Randy: Cool! Let's totally forget that you're going to leave me to go to a college I could never attend!
LOL!
Randy: Cool! Let's totally forget that you're going to leave me to go to a college I could never attend!
I love that!
*All I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head.
Spider Lilies
Jade: Striping for dirty guys on the internet is a big party and they want me bad, at least someone wants me.
Takeko: What do I do, Jade's coming on to me, and I gave up women and a sex life when my father died in the Earthquake.
Tattoo: There's no forgetting your heart and what you need, and don't worry I'll be sure to remind you.
Fire
Sita: My husband has a girlfriend
Radha: My husband won't have sex with me
Mundu: Let's watch a video with granny!
Haha
ahahahah
LOL
perfect and FUNNY!!!
Fingersmith
Sue:I'm conning you and going to help get you locked up in a loony bin,but the whole glove thing makes me hot so lets have sex.
Maud:Actually i'll be the one to doublecross you but i'm sexually frustrated from all the porn my uncle makes me read so hell yeah let's have sex.
Too true
Haha, I love this one. Maud was TOTALLY sexually frustrated!
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
[Indira Ghandi]
The Hours...
Louis: The whole thing seems to go on for eternity; nothing happens and then, wham! For no reason she kills herself.
(That's actually from the movie)
Tipping the Velvet:
Nan:*Recieves Rose* Sigh sigh sigh
Kitty: Mermaids, I'm screwing the moustache man.
Nan: *Throws rose* Screw your top hat
Fingersmith:
Sue: *Long lingering look*. AH CRAP I'm in a madhouse
Gentleman: *Evil cackle* AH CRAP I've been stabbed
Maud: *Sexually repressed glare* AH CRAP my mother is who?
And the road stretched on like an angry woman...
Fingersmith
If These Walls Could Talk 2
Linda:God she looks sexy in that tie and she rides a motorbike
Her Friends:But where bitchy feminists and she looks like a guy.
Linda:Yeah but she's hot so screw feminism.
DEBS
Lucy: Amy is so sweet and made me forget about my idiot of an ex who had the nerve to dump ME! Oh noes- she thinks she's straight. Time to seduce her!
Amy: Men are boring and Lucy is hot! I didn't stand a chance.
Max: Damn, I really had the hots for Amy. Well, oh well; if I can't have her, I'll just make her feel miserable for a while and threaten her girlfriend.
"The quick to think are never sure"
--Tiresias, Oedipus Rex
A Family Affair
Rachel:I know I look like a toad and i'm writing/directing this movie but it's believable I could have two hot women in love with me,right?
Christine:I'm only marrying you because converting to being Jewish sounds cool.
Haha
I totally knew Christine only did it to be Jewish! Being Jewish is amazing.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
[Indira Ghandi]
Fried Green Tomatoes
Ninny: You're down in the dumps? Oh, let me tell you a story about some old-timey
lesbiansgood friends to make you feel more empowered!Idgie: I dress in men's clothes, act like a total tomboy, and follow you around like a puppy. Are you getting where I'm going with this?
Ruth: Yes. Let's raise a son together in our seemingly-intolerant-but-actually-quite-supportive Southern town. Actually, scratch that, I'm sick. *dies*
LOL :D
Gray Matters
Gray: You're marrying my brother, but I think I love you
Charlie: Well, lets get drunk and you can kiss me when I pass out
The Writers: Let's throw in Rachel Shelly so the audience doesn't fall asleep during the rest of this piece of crap
smithsayswhat.blogspot.comLOL
These (Loving Annabelle and Gray Matters) are hilarious! Well done.
So true
lol
POC!
Hahahaha, so true!
Couldn't "This is going to
Couldn't "This is going to end badly" be used for 85% of movies with lesbians in them?