Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and Paula Abdul … do you really want to smell like these people? Me, not so much, since I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to smell like a nervous breakdown, jail, desperation or crazy. But, apparently, a lot of people do want to dab on a little eau de paparazzi princess, since new star scents keep popping up everywhere.

Now, I’m not really a perfume fan, period. The first thing I do when I open one of those big, glossy magazines is rip out all the smelly samples. And of course, using celebrities to hawk fancy fragrances is nothing new either. I’ve always admired those elegant Trésor ads featuring Isabella Rosellini and now Kate Winslet. But having stars sell their own signature scents, well that’s a horse of a different color.

A celebrity perfume is supposed to represent the star’s essence. Hmm, well, I’ve heard that Mariah Carey’s new scent M smells like marshmallows, so maybe they’re onto something there. Other stars with an aroma of their own: Christina Aguilera (Christina Aguilera), Gwen Stefani (L), Kate Moss (Kate), Kylie Minogue (Darling), Beyonce (True Star) and the Olsen twins (N.Y. Chic and L.A. Style).

For some, one whiff isn’t even enough. Stars from Paris to Jennifer Lopez, Celine Dion and Sarah Jessica Parker have multiple lines. Britney is about to have four perfumes. Yes, four. Curious, Fantasy, Midnight Fantasy and the upcoming Believe. I have no idea what we’re supposed to believe. Perhaps we’re supposed to believe those are really her abs. Yeah, something just doesn’t smell right.