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A Dear John letter to romantic comediesDear Romantic Comedies, I am writing to let you know it’s over; I’m breaking up with you. While I regret the impersonal nature of this missive, I feel it is imperative to let you know as soon as possible to not create any ambiguity or false hope. We are through.
And it's not me, it's totally you. You see, the thing is you suck. After viewing your latest trailers for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, The Proposal, Management and The Ugly Truth, I can take it no longer. What started as a mild irritation with you has grown into a full-blown disgust. You’ve become awful, seriously, eye-gaugingly bad.
Of course, it didn't always use to be this way — we used to have so much fun together. There was heat, humor and heart. And let’s not forget the pulse-quickening, spine-tingling romance. At your best you made me swoon, you really did. But now — now you’re all rote and formulaic. You never surprise me with the unexpected anymore. It's all meet cute then face an improbable obstacle only to ride off into the sunset, the end. Plus, you’ve somehow gotten it in your head recently that making the woman rational and up-tight and the man simple and child-like is incredibly clever. Trust me, it is not. Case in point. And for the love of God, stop trying to set me up with Matthew McConaughey. If my last dozen-plus rejections of him weren’t enough, let me make it abundantly clear: I am just not that into him. Seriously, the last time he didn't make me want to want to beat myself senseless with my bare hands just to make the smarminess stop was in Dazed and Confused. (I only tolerated Contact for the Jodie factor, but every time they kissed I think even the screen cringed.) So, clearly, there is no way Sydney Bristow would ever fall for him.
The thing is, I deserve better. We all deserve better. This repetitive drivel is just brain tapioca – colorless, flavorless, starchy nothing. It’s as easy to digest as it is to forget. How to Lose a New in Town Knocked Up Fool? Yeah, I’ve seen this movie already and hated it the first time. I won’t spend a penny more on you. You’re simply not worth my time. You’re definitely not worth the talent, particularly the female talent, that you’ve somehow hoodwinked into appearing in your projects. Jennifer Garner, Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock: Ladies, don’t settle — it’s beneath you.
Look, maybe if you try to change and start actually being original and interesting, we could try again. But that's a big maybe. In fact, at this point, I don't even really think we can be friends. So don’t call me. And, if you’re lucky, perhaps someday I’ll call you. Just don’t hold your breath. Sincerely, Ms. Snarker Submitted by on May 7, 2009 - 1:00pm. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
Jennifer Garner
It makes me sad to see her in ridiculous movies like Ghosts of Girlfriends Past when I know how extremely talented she is. I want Sydney Bristow back.
Mega ditto!!
I heart you, Ms. Snarker!
I really do! Just the trailers to these movies suck so much that I don't even want to watch the trailers anymore. I really don't understand why talented female actresses want to work on these projects. These movies are predictable, boring and in no way funny/cute/romantic/or anything at all, really.
http://babydyke.blogspot.com/ - my take on all things lesbian
I love this post! It is so
stupid romantic comedies
these movies are beneath them! they deserve better hmph
(love you sandra bullock!)
totally agree with that except...
... that I kinda like Matthew McConaughey(yeah, so what, he's cool and everyone has been kind of against him these last few years :S), and I wish people remembered that he could be a good actor playing in good films (Time to Kill, Contact, EdTV etc). He was really cool in Tropic Thunder as well, and I'm absolutely tired to see him in rom-com, most of the time with Kate Hudson. Bring back the awesome, the guy needs a nice clean come back in a total different genre!
Same goes for Jennifer Garner. She's amazing, I love her, she also has a fantastic comedy timing (hello, 30 going 13?) why can't anyone give her a different role (well, we saw a bit of that in Juno, but that was too short!)?
But yeah, it's like they are all made from the same script and I wish the writers could write decent romantic comedies that would surprise us. Not gonna happen anytime soon...
Total agreement
I've never claimed to be a fan of romantic comedies but the state of the genre these days is appauling. They are so formulaic and contrived it amazes me they do so well in the box office. Essentially once you've seen one you've seen them all. It's so dissapointing to see these actresses and even actors (I like Steve Zahn when he actually picks a good film to be in) waste their talent on these projects. Then again it seems these roles are endless and in a cutthroat business like Hollywood keeping your face out there often seems to take precedence over quality. In a perfect world their would be more roles for women that had depth and complexity, but sadly it's not the case.
On a side note, I would never have recognized Jennifer Aniston on that poster. Maybe it's just because her face is so small, but it's kinda weird.
RomCom
Amen from the choir
YES! EXACTLY! Thank you,
How to Lose a New in Town Knocked Up Fool? Hahahaha.
Also, I cannot find a single thing that is appealing about Matthew McConaughey. He seriously has not one redeeming quality. Plus, one time in an interview, he referred to acting as "playing make-believe". That comment royally pissed off this hard-working theatre student.
Sorry!
The Proposal gets a pass from me too
...for these three very important reasons:
1. Female director. I feel it's important to support female film directors. If we're going to change how women are treated in movies, we need more female directors in the mainstream.
2. Female lead who's 12 years older than her male co-lead and this is treated in the movie as a nonissue. This may be a first in cinematic history. Seriously.
(FYI the definitive 'older woman,' Anne Bancroft - aka "Mrs. Robinson" is only 6 years older than Dustin Hoffman. Richard Gere on the other hand is 18 years older than Julia Roberts and 16 years older than Dianne Lane and these are seen as age-appropriate pairings. Angelina Jolie is one year younger than Colin Ferrell and has been cast as his mother. So...)
3. Betty White
Just on principle, The Proposal may be the first romcom I've bothered to buy a full-price opening weekend ticket to since the 1990s. I don't even really care if it sucks.
The rest of them though. Bleh.
Yes, yes and a side of yes.
(I only tolerated Contact for the Jodie factor, but every time they kissed I think even the screen cringed.)
My god, yes. Ellie was far, far too good for him, and he just got in the way. Movie!Palmer Joss was nothing like the book version anyway, so it's not like TPTB were trying to preserve anything, and the movie didn't need a romance. Why couldn't it just be Ellie and her lovely Kent (who was gay in my head) having a Grand Science Adventure? Poor Jodie, having to kiss that greasy jerk. He wrecked Reign of Fire, too. It was half of a cheesily fun flick, until McConaughey showed up and sent it all to hell. Boo!
But now — now you’re all rote and formulaic.
Rote, formulaic, and more often than not, creepily misogynist. We, the audience, deserve far better, and so do these talented actresses.
Yes!!
I think Sarah Haskins said it best: Well, she's in for a surprise when unlikely suitor-high concept hijinks-unnecessary obstacle-true love happy ending!
I do have to admit though, I have had an unreasonable love for Steve Zahn since he was Lenny in "That thing you do," so I'm happy to see him doing a semi-legit movie. Matthew McConaughey, on the other hand, makes me want to slit my throat with my toenails. God. there is no more disgusting man alive.
Lack of good roles for women in the movies
I think these A-List actresses take the roles because they're the only consistent leading roles for women in movies (tv seems to be a different story) Sometimes I feel like I should see them to support female box office power.........................but they just seem so bad.
Instead I end up spending money on comic book or Jason Statham movies with one token female role. At least the token women get to kick a$$ instead of looking for a husband.
another yes!!
Ms. Snarker you said it all!!
Unfortunately for me this is like a bad relationship with a psycho girlfriend who you can't just leave no matter how bad the situation is. I agree that the new productions are not what they used to be but I couldn't change romantic comedies for actions films or sci-fi things.
Annoying! i like jennifer
Annoying! i like jennifer aniston. i like steve zahn. but i am soooooo over these movies where the shlubby guy gets the sophisticated put-together girl. the message is, even if a girl is out of your league, you just need to try hard enough and eventually you'll get her. also, in all these romantic comedies the girl is never funny. the guy is the dumpy buffoon, and the girl is just pretty, vacuous eye candy.
remember the sweetest thing? now that was a funny rom com.
my bad
I'll watch the Proposal only
Oh Jennifer...
okay okay
Please Ms. Snarker hear me out!
I recently saw a trailer for a romcom that you can fall in love with.
I think its called 500 Days of Summer and it looks fantastic. Plus, who can resist Zooey Deschanel?
As for the above movies, I couldn't really care less.
Here's the link for 500 Days of Summer: http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1728185113/
You notice how many of the