SPOILER ALERT: There are no Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows spoilers in the body of this post, but the video at the end is chock full of them. And please don't post spoilers in the comments. My girlfriend hasn't read the book yet, and I want her to continue to like me.

In mid-October, J.K. Rowling will be bringing her magic to the United States for the first time since 2000. She's published four books since her last tour but was too busy being pregnant and raising babies to tour in support of them. Somehow she managed to sell books anyway: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince sold 105 copies per second at Barnes and Noble during its first hour of sales in 2005, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold 126 copies per second in its first hour of sales last month. This fall, she has scheduled three events with school groups in Los Angeles, New Orleans and New York. More importantly, she'll have one all-ages event at Carnegie Hall. And I live in New York. So, yay!

And here's what she looks like Simpsonized. Just because.

Of course, it's not a given that I'll get tickets. Only 2,000 will be distributed to 1,000 lucky winners of "Scholastic's J.K . Rowling Open Book Sweepstakes." (Danica McKellar could probably do the math here quickly: two tickets per winner.) And I must give a shout-out to AfterEllen.com: The call for new bloggers led me to Scholastic's press release, and I've been waiting for the details ever since.

Speaking of the details, here's what you need to know to enter:

1. The event is at Carnegie Hall in New York City on Friday, October 19 at 7 p.m. You do not have to be a New York resident, but you must be a legal resident of the United States to enter. All winners are responsible for their own travel and accommodations.

2. You cannot enter online. All entries must be mailed to Scholastic. The address is on the entry form, which you can download here.

3. All entries must be received — not mailed — by August 31, 2007. Mail them early.

4. Winners can expect to be notified on or around September 14, 2007. Tickets must be picked up at the Carnegie Hall box office on October 15–18 between 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. or on October 19 between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m.

5. If I win tickets and my girlfriend still has not read the book, I will be holding a sweepstakes to see who gets the extra ticket.

You can find the complete rules (except #5) here.

I've already mailed my entry because I think Rowling is fantastic: She's got a lesbianish name (she's really "Jo," not "J.K."), she looks great in a pair of glasses, and she achieves a near-perfect balance of smart and silly in her writing.

She clearly respects her audience, and that makes me respect her. So I'll leave you with a spoiler-filled clip of Rowling discussing the end of the Harry Potter series with a group of children at Edinburgh Castle in Scotland.

Oh, and don't forget to mail your Sweepstakes entry!