emily hartl's blog

Tried and true, suspenders have been a lesbian's best friend for decades. Back in the 1920s, it was all the rage for the gentlemen of the day to be hiking up their shorts with these stretchy shoulder straps and they sure were a helping hand to a gal pal disguising herself as a man in order to "pass."

The look has never really gone away, it sort of ebbs and flows with the trends but since this autumn is all about the '90s it's back faster than you can spit out Jessie Spano.

More recently, they've been considered more of a "dress up" thing with lady-lovin'-ladies but I think that they could easily be incorporated into every day and dressed down when done right. Kristen Stewart recently got bashed for sporting them kinda questionably, but you cant blame her for trying.

The jokes surrounding lesbians about merging their lives together are about a dime a dozen. Despite being over-used generalizations that don't apply to the masses, one extra scary stereotype is "the lesbian urge to merge." I think you'll all know what I'm talking about when I discuss girlfriends that dress alike.

Even if you don't personally know "that" couple, you've definitely seen them out and about in their matching button-ups. I don't care if they're the same flannel shirt just in different colors, it's a no-go. I myself almost fell victim to this very debacle this weekend, when I tried to convince my girlfriend that it was "OK" if I ordered the same mid-calf boots that she owns in brown, just in black. Thinking back, I'm wondering if it was some sort of possession because I can't believe I almost initiated that kind of horror.

What was I thinking? Haven't I seen enough bad examples?

The time is upon us and, no, I'm not speaking of some sort of wildly epic anticipated release like Sainthood — but almost as important. I say it every year, but I will reiterate: Halloween is the best and only acceptable time to completely emulate and become someone else for an evening and this year in the spirit of feminism and queer women everywhere, I think it's necessary to represent.

Hilary Swank and Paula Abdul have both dressed up as their best Ellen DeGeneres

I like to be conscious and sensitive to tight wallets in general and with holidays like this one, it's not hard to and besides, nothing is as fun as putting your own original spin on a costume. Lesbians have a reputation for being frugal, so you might as well go for the gold with this one and attack your neighborhood thrift store. It's fun and monetarily conscious.

I usually have a hope and a dream regarding a costume I myself am not going to don but one that I hope to see out and about and this year is no exception. I think it would be awesome if I saw a girl or two out rocking the Rachel Maddow. Not only is she one of the most lusted after power lesbians, her costume could probably be pretty easily comprised of components of your own wardrobe — let's call a spade a spade.

So, in case you haven't heard, the line Lindsay Lohan created for Emanuel Ungaro pretty much bombed on the runways of Paris Fashion Week and oh-how-my-heart aches for our most controversial of celesbians when I heard that news.

She's been tanking so bad, one reporter actually re-capped her work by saying, "She embarrassed herself and Ungaro at her Paris Fashion Week debut. Heart-shaped pasties and a blue bandeau bra do not a fashion line make."

Oh, dear! And just when I thought things couldn't possibly get much worse for our flighty friend, she is accused of stealing jewelry — again.

Apparently, when her house was broken into not too long ago she claimed that about 2 million dollars worth of jewels were snagged from her crib and they were later found in the hands of Lindsay herself, so along with the alleged stealing of fur coats, she reportedly left France without returning millions of dollars worth of jewels borrowed for her nose-dive of a runway show. Say it isn't so!

The change of seasons usually inspires some sort of wardrobe overhaul, whether it be small or large. There's something about the shift of temperature that ultimately signals something in almost all of us to mix it up a bit in the clothes department.

I don't know about you, but, since it's early October, every other time I've been looking in my closet for the day's ensemble it's almost always met with a sigh and an urge to go wild and purchase a whole slew of things to spice up my business. For a lot of us, that's not realistic, and is actually pretty unnecessary. By purchasing a few new pieces that work well with what you already have, you'll save a lot of dough and feel like a whole new lady — I promise.

One of the best things you can do for your closet, when you feel like it's in a rut, is buy yourself a shiny new pair of shoes. Whether your bag is boots, flats, heels or sneakers, this is the top cure for a vying vault. A pair of shoes can change any outfit and make it feel brand new.

I've been kind of alluding to the fact lately, but the strong influx of the '90s has been brewing and now it's being served up, right into our wardrobes. These past few weeks I've been pondering if a) how into it I actually am and b) do I want to be more like Darlene Conner or Blossom Russo? This is totally personal preference and deserves a proper pros-and-cons debate in order for everyone to make the right decision.

Blossom: Nerd at heart but in her day her hats were the epitome of cool and her suspenders and Keds were out of this world. She was known for her brightly colored ensembles and interesting combinations of vest and baggy shorts and the occasional floral print frock.

While riding the bus last week, I almost lost my mind and did a double take after Blossom's doppelganger boarded. She was a clean version of the teen queen in a black pleated knee length skirt with animated yellow and red roses scattered across it. A white short-sleeved button-up top with gold buttons and an extremely tailored color was tucked into it. She topped it off with "softly" pointed-toe black flats that had a small buckle across the toe.

As I'm writing to you, the fall solstice is upon us. I'll admit that I'm totally into all of the gore and glamour that the season has to offer, mostly because I'm a Halloween baby (my birthday is the day before) so it's in my veins or something.

Over the past year or so the trend of embracing the dark and inner angsty goth teen has become mainstream, what with novels like the Twilight and Sookie Stackhouse series, not to mention the films and television series based on the books to coincide with them. It's like everyone caught bloodsucking fever, myself included and I don't think it's any fault of True Blood's Maryann — tall and dark has pretty much always held the trophy for "winner" in the romance category, so it's pretty typical but oddly cool.

I have to say as a pretense, though, that while I can't support reading the Twilight books for personal reasons, you can bet I wouldn't miss Kristen Stewart consorting with vampires on the big screen — it's too hot.

Yes, folks, it was time for fashionistas everywhere to rejoice in the kick off of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in good old New York City last week. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a front row (or even a back row, slightly blocked) seat at almost any of the runway events that have been ongoing since last week. Instead, you and I are both going to have to settle on my picking apart and/or total gush-fest over the looks that I think are going to take the cake come Spring 2010.

Fashion Week is so great because it gives the common folk the opportunity to take what we can and alter the sometimes over the top ensembles into a translation that's all our own. This year, I'm most excited about Twinkle by Wenlan. The collection proved to be whimsical as expected and it did not disappoint by appearing like you could take them directly off the catwalk to enjoy as opposed to the variation that may end up on the rack.

I'm obsessed with the shade of red-orange that tints each and every model's lips that rocked her presentation. It screams renaissance and I'm not one to argue with a classic. The collection as a whole totally coincides with the early '90s trend that's so rampant on the runway this season and femmes across the land will sing the praises of it's instant wearability.

The U.S. Open has been going on for quite a few weeks at this time and to be honest, I haven't been wildly enthusiastic about the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, I know — it's one of the most timeless sports that one could watch and all of that but it's sort of like golf for me — I don't have a whole lot of interest in watching people smack balls back and forth to one another across a court. Hot or not, my attention span doesn't have the capacity for that sort of thing.

My girlfriend on the other hand is pretty into it, so I've taken what I can about the girl's outfits and "made lemonade" if you will, because there's no arguing how good they look scampering around in those tennis skirts.

For those of you out there who are equally as enthusiastic about this whole sporting event, I don't even have to call Maria Sharapova to your attention, but I'm going to do it for the rest who may be living under a rock.

She is crazy attractive and has been getting props left and right for her clothing choices, and with excellent reason — she essentially started a new trend in tennis by wearing day and night ensembles for her tournament matches.

So, this week it was like some sort of magical creature handed me the perfect opportunity to talk about one of my absolute favorite topics. Not surprisingly to some of you, I’m sure, I’m referring to Tegan and Sara.

Let’s talk about their new haircuts and the ones that first got them famous because, let’s be honest, it’s been a journey and they could “take me anywhere” on it.

Every album seems to not only be a debut for an array of pop-infused lesbian love tracks but also to make the next big statement in the hair and fashion world. I happen to know firsthand that their hair has been mimicked so often that the girls have become a point of reference in my very own salon when referring to a specific style of cut. Wild, right?

So Jealous was the obvious beginning of recognizing a pair of Canadian lesbian identical twins for their locks as well as their la-la’s.

When I was in fourth grade, I had an "incident" while rollerskating — meaning I fell down and broke my arm while having some kind of pretend "figure skating" show with my sister. Awesome. I had quite the aversion to the mobile shoes for years afterward, cringing when my dad presented me with a shiny pair of new Blades for my fourteenth birthday.

As an adult, I've gotten totally obsessed with roller derby and have nothing but envy for those girls skating their little hearts our around the rink. As usual, it's not the actual athleticism that I'm impressed by, but their foot ware.

It seems as though your run-of-the-mill skates (ones that aren't the most amazing or fast thing that you will ever put on your feet) will cost you a cool $50. These are the plain white or black kind and you can find them on websites like rollerskates.com but I actually think that's kind of a plus. I remember back in the day when shopping for the perfect pair that black wasn't even an option if you were shopping in the "girl" section.

Ugh. Sigh. Gag. It's back to school time and I'm kind of freaking out about finding the perfect bag. I'm into something that's not going to totally tear off my shoulder everyday, but I'm not crazy about backpacks. Does such perfection actually exist? I'm not sure that it does, but it's nothing a little virtual Nancy Drew style investigating can't take care of.

I love Brooklyn Industries, but I was starting to lose faith in them when the over-sized, compartmentalized dream tote that had once been an angel in my eyes started to hurt me more than help me. The thing about Brooklyn is that is that it rarely fails to let me down in the area of finding a dependable piece, always cute however lately it's becoming less unique as they grow and expand.

Awesome tip: All bags that you buy in store or online before August 30 are 30% off, which is kind of awesome. This is my favorite so far: Art Deco + Change bag. If I got it, it would basically change my life.

I'm considering throwing down for the Chrome brand. It's ultimately the most conventional and probably comfortable way to haul your life around, as it evens out the weight that you are carrying evenly across your torso and back if you opt for their most popular messenger bag.

So listen, I know it might feel a bit early to start talking about boots, but it’s seriously not that far off. As I found out last week when on a quest for a cute late-season swimsuit, the stores are rolling out the summer stuff and it’s all “back to school” now whether we like it or not. (I don’t, BTW.) With items like these, the early bird generally gets the worm, and by that I mean the avid online researcher gets their size before everyone else.

I typically wear boots all summer and, with the global climate change, it actually made sense to wear them all the livelong season this year, much to my liking. If you buy some now, you’ll still have some time to break them in before you need to wear them on the regular.

One of my favorite things about boots is that you have a lot of variety in a wide price range.

The best budget boot that I’ve stumbled upon as of late is the Ashlee Black boot by 80%20.

You get the best of both worlds since they’re black and brown as well as a high quality leather boot that hits just below the knee, meaning they will match with most everything. The shape is pretty universal in my opinion and if you look on line you can find a pair for a little over a hundred bucks. They’re half off because they are “last season” but I think they’re classic looking that they can carry into this fall and winter.

So, here in Styled Out, we’ve talked about everything from leggings, to long-lost dresses, to tattoos — we’re basically BFFs. Last week I did something which I considered to be quite dramatic only to find out that in reality, it wasn’t. Well, maybe only to me: I took out my nose ring.

It wasn’t like it was some sort of earth shattering event or anything, I just sort of realized that I had grown out of it and it was just time to end an era. So, instead of waiting for my friend Brian the piercing artist, I totally took the needle-nosed pliers to my face. It was weird how I was just so suddenly over it.

I waited and waited for the most important people in my life to take notice of this thing that had been a part of my body for the last nine years was gone, but alas, most of them will probably find out from reading this emo remembrance on my blog. That nose ring meant so much to me at the time that I got it. It was well thought out yet impulsively pierced and totally inspired by my baby dyke’s lust and reverence of the queen of riot grrrls, Ani DiFranco.

People in lots of different sorts of “outcast” and minority groups like to define themselves with things like piercings, outlandish clothing and hair color in order to send a message to the general population — “I’m different, and these are the indications of who I am and why!” — and it is so prevalent and heightened when you’re younger.

Last night I had the first (and unfortunately last) opportunity to play in my girlfriend’s kickball league. They play every Tuesday night and I still can hardly believe what I’ve been missing. The beer, the smack talking, the outfits — mostly the outfits.

As it turned out, there is no real standard way for the teams to be divided in her games, so last night about 7 people showed up wearing gray T-shirts, myself included, and it was decided that we were indeed a team as a result. I enjoy the pick-up game style and everyone playing weekly with my GF are on board with the lack of restrictions, but I know many a sporty lesbian who begs to differ.

Natasha Kai: Serious about sports

Softball teams in general seem to stick to what they know, i.e. serious uniforms that identify each player. However as an adult you can get a bit more, uh, creative with your team name and/or “nickname." I like that these teams put out the effort and organization in not only their sport but in the authenticity of their uniforms. From what I understand though most adult softball leagues aren’t as serious about the bottoms as they are the tops (no pun intended). Jean cut-offs it is!

Now, a lot of team sports especially those that have been sort of branded as being urban hipster-ish like kickball can get pretty involved. In Brooklyn, The Divine Sisterhood of the Sacred Heart are a bar sponsored, ass-kicking force to be reckoned with who hosts their own prom to celebrate their triumphant domination. And I love their threads on the real. The matching shirt is the only think that counts on this team, which is a yellow American Apparel tee with a diagram of a heart on the left side (duh). I like the official-casual-ness this team chose.

State by state, the gays are making slow but steady progress in the wedding department. Honestly, I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. Many a wedding coordinator is a homosexual and we’d be great for blowing bucks on the nuptials of our dreams for the simple fact that many same-sex couples of marrying age are without children and (hopefully) mature enough to have some expendable income.

Jewelry to mark your eternal bond is pretty easy for your average boy-girl couple. Boy consults mother, sister or BFF for the inside on his girl’s dream engagement ring, he gets on one knee, she is the envy of all of her single co-workers and friends. When converting traditions and making them our own, it’s so intricately personal and can be really confusing: Who buys the ring? Do you even need the engagement ring, or do you go full speed ahead with matching bands? Is that something you decide as a couple or has the dynamic been previously established?

One of my dearest friends got hitched last month and boy, was it a lesson in traditional wedlock. Her wife and her have a pretty obvious butch/femme relationship and did everything to a T — cake, first dance, video slideshow, all of it. They did however go the route of having matching, simple titanium bands. It was perfect for them and, to be honest, I believe the decision to get married was a mutual one so, really, not traditional at all, but perfect for them.

For some of you this may be hard to believe, but I swear to God there are moments in my life where I wished that there was something on me that just like, screamed “LESBIAN!" When I was a single living lady this desire was a bit more strong but being a lez who leans a bit more on the feminine side of things, I feel like I need a name tag or a badge or something sometimes to ward off unwanted male attention.

Whenever I feel like I need an extra amp or two of gay in my life, and I’m aiming to come off like the dyke that I am, I reach for the obvious — the “wife beater." (Can we think of a new name for this wardrobe gem, BTW?)

A racer back style tank is great too, yes, but when you’re wearing that ribbed tank straight out of the package it’s like a direct Bat Signal. Double points if you happen to have a tattoo. Last week, some of you mentioned that a tattoo is a stand out way to convey lesbianism, but, again, please make an informed decision if you’re thinking about ink.

Having a large back piece, I can find myself being somewhat of an advocate of tattoos, large and small. When my sister started getting tattooed as early as 17, I found myself defending her honor and getting into arguments with my parents, explaining that our generation was “different” and everyone was getting them; it wasn’t going to be one of those things that either her or I would regret, because all of the old folks were going to be sporting them when we got to senior citizen status anyway. I still think all of this is true but I am however questioning this major influx of ink that seems to be happening all around me.

I’m truly afraid that the younger folk are jumping on the band wagon without thinking things entirely through. When the trend hit, it hit hard and I can probably count on my hand the amount of friends that I have who don’t have some skin art, regretful or not.

My rule of thumb is to sit on it for a year. I know that seems like an eternity when you’re dying to sketch on your skin but if you’re still excited about getting that “tramp stamp” a year after coming up with the idea, you’re ready to get under the needle. It’s like any rash decision — you usually end up remorseful.

My friend and co-worker actually has a tattoo on her forearm that says, “Stop. Think.” This is an excellent idea to succeed at life and a pretty hilarious way to present it to the world. I’m a huge fan of ironic or hilarious tattoos, as long as they’re tastefully done. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone with something so horribly done permanent on their body. You can’t help but feel bad, so do your research!

Sunday brunch is practically a gay holiday: A day to celebrate and to revere as it’s most definitely an occasion amongst homos. Brunch makes it a-okay to get day drunk and summer time is prime brunch season, as there are patios for us to enjoy and to entice our otherwise reclusive friends to hang out with us on because it doesn’t conflict with bedtimes and other adult responsibilities.

Brunch, how I love thee.

While it’s a time to recline and reflect on the week’s events with your pals, you’re sure to leave a sour taste in someone's mouth if you go “too cas," and I don’t mean from drinking too many mimosas. Let’s go over the rules.

You may have had the same friends since the good old college days, but unlike rolling out of bed and showing up to class — unless a friend is hosting an implied casual brunch in their home — it’s entirely inappropriate to show up anywhere where they’re serving champagne in your p.j.s, I don’t care how much your buddies love you. When you dress sloppy, it reflects on you and your (possible) hangover. If you can’t get it together to at least throw on some jeans, eat a bagel and grab a “hair of the dog” a bit later in the day.

Kristen Stewart, Nikki Reed and Ellen Page all looking casually good in the daytime

That being said, jeans and a loose shirt are a great way to pack in all the french toast and eggs you can handle without feeling like you’re going to bust at the seams. Brunch is a gluttonous time in our lives and if you’re eating consciously throughout the week, I say go for it — just dress for it. That way you won’t leave your favorite restaurant feeling like a blimp, even after a full plate and a couple of Bloodys.

The past few days have been a huge reality bitch-slap of an extreme heat wave traveling through the Midwest. I was sitting here, twiddling my thumbs and biding my time in the 70 degree weather wondering when the true Chicago summer was going to take the reigns and send us running back to our apartments, basking in air-conditioned glory.

It has truly arrived, and I realize that some of my readers are experiencing winter right now, being on the opposite side of the hemisphere and all, so tuck this stuff away for when you need it.

It’s awesome not having to worry about bringing a jacket with me every time I leave the house but something that can be somewhat taxing is trying to stay cool while not looking trashy, especially when it counts (i.e. work). The answer is simple and is the same for many wardrobe dilemmas, and that my friends is layering.

Pair a razorback with another tank or T-shirt

Cute sundress that seems a bit too skimpy to don around your boss? Throw a tank top underneath for some extra coverage. I also like this because it lets you experiment with patterns and color and keep some creativity in your ensemble, regardless of how minimal.

There are those events in life that you have to plan for, because you care what you look like that day — Pride being one of them. It’s a day of thorough preparation, but usually with what you layer your stomach with to handle the impending alcohol rather than what you’ll be throwing on your body that day. In any scenario, it’s a day of thought, reverence and usually (except for you underage ladies) a day of heavy intoxication.

Honestly, the most important thing that you could possibly put on before standing out on the street all day is sunscreen. Dependent on your skin tone, your level of protection required may vary but hear this, chicas: No amount of pigment in your skin will protect you entirely so suit up! Have your girlfriend slather on some SPF so that this indirect foreplay doesn’t inhibit any post-Pride (ahem) activity.

Burt's Bees makes a nice, paraben-free variety that’s both a UVA and UVB filter and has a clean, herbal scent.

So, I’m about to eat my words. Remember when I was ragging on gladiator-style sandals pretty hard a couple of weeks ago? I’m admitting now that I absolutely spoke too soon and I’m willing to back pedal and beg for mercy at your sometimes cutting comebacks to my occasionally rash generalizations.

A girl I work with whose style I totally admire strolled into the salon one day wearing a pair of these:

Now, my biggest hang up with the gladiators is that they were being imitated by every cheap, chintzy manufacturing company and therefore, blackening the trend in my eyes. Thank God it was a temporary blindness, because people I have seen the light. While still admittedly trendy, they’ll be around to see the end of this season at least, if not another.

Lo and behold (pun intended), Li-Lo is up and at ‘em again. It was reported that our naturally red-headed celesbian is taking another fashion venture — this time away from her own line. Way to clean up your life, girl.

Rumor has it Lindsay Lohan has been in talks with Paris's House of Emanuel Ungaro about signing on as a “fashion consultant for the company.” Now, the girl had it going on with leggings, but is she really qualified to lurk in the likes of couture? Not according to the current head designer over at House of E.U. Esteban Cortazar. He’s actually threatening to leave if Lindsay is signed on. Pretty severe threats, buddy.

Emanuel Ungaro and Esteban Cortazar

Ungaro apparently thinks that Lohan is a design firecracker and could add a lot of “energy and buzz” to the company but other sources seem to think otherwise. Poor thing — just when Lindsay is getting her footing people are calling her a “nail in the coffin” should she be the hired as the newest employee of House of Emanuel Unargo. Ouch.

I got my breath knocked out of me on the upwards of a thousand times last night when I went to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs play live. If you’ve had the opportunity to graze your eyes upon the trio on stage, you might have nearly had a coronary yourself. Karen O (aka recipient of Spin magazine's Sex Goddess Award for both 2004 and 2005) is the band's frontwoman, in case you’ve been living under a rock or something, and she’s incredible. Really, the woman is stunning and completely versatile.

Karen O is known for her outlandish behavior and “bigger than the sound” ensembles — a true performer. Famously fashion forward, she has the sort of magnetism and sexual draw that attracts everyone — gay, straight, man, woman. I’m sure some 5-year-old saw one of her space suits and was inspired to dress up. There’s no denying that without Karen’s wardrobe any YYY’s show would be missing that soft kick in the teeth that everyone in the crowd is waiting for.

New York City-based fashion designer Christian Joy is the woman behind the glitter-fest that is Karen O. The two met while Joy was working in the Daryl K Store in the East Village. O was a fan of Joy’s deconstructed prom dresses and asked her to make one for her, way-back-when, when YYY’s were just getting their sea legs.

Everyone I know is traveling like crazy this summer. Obviously, this calls for lighter and less clothes due to the raise in temperature, but it can still be quite the task to shove maximum garments into minimum luggage.

As usual, I’m here to lend a hand and help you figure out how to plan your life en route and pack for five days in one carry-on. If you are going to a super specific occasion, these suggestions may not apply, but take what you can use and pack it.

Trying to get away with only bringing one pair of jeans can be taxing but totally necessary if you’re maxing out your suitcase. If I know my lesbos (and I’m pretty sure that I do), it’s one of the most essential and diverse parts of their wardrobe.

When out of town it’s a good idea to bring your best and most durable pair. The most ideal option would be to have a pair that you can easily dress up or down — meaning, you can throw on a t-shirt just as easily as a nice button down should the occasion arise. I think it’s essential that the color of the denim be a darker shade as well as it’s likely that you’ll have access to laundry as you’re jet setting around.