Have you ever wondered which TV shows came thisclose to getting an Emmy nomination and never did? No? Well regardless, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences (aka the people that give out the Emmy awards) are now letting us know who those losers shows will be.

Recently they announced the official Top Ten Finalists for both Outstanding Drama Series as well as Outstanding Comedy Series — with no official mention of the actors or actresses, supporting or otherwise, that may be in contention. Who knew Emmy could be such a tease?

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Academy released this information: “In an unprecedented move designed to head off the kind of cyberspace leaks that have played havoc with the nomination process the past two years.”

Really? There has been internet “havoc”? And by "havoc" do they mean public speculation? Forums on discussion? Emmy buzz? I thought these were all good things that would inevitably lead to getting people to actually sit through three hours of Emmy award distribution. Clearly I know nothing about award shows.

Here is a peak at the nominees that may get nominated, or may not get nominated (in case you are a "glass half-empty" kind of person.)

Top 10 Comedy Series Semi-Finalists

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
The Office
Pushing Daisies
30 Rock
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Weeds

Out of this list, only five will go on the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Emmy Finalist — or something like that. If I had to guess who those lucky final five would be, my money would be on 30 Rock (because Tina Fey is amazing and deserves all the Emmy gold they can dish out), The Office, Weeds, Ugly Betty and Two and Half Men (because they always seem to nominate this show. Does anyone out there watch this? Seriously, I’m asking.)

Is there an actress that you would see in any film, no matter what it’s about? Like literally no matter what — aliens could be attacking earth in search of the galaxy’s next pop star and you would see this movie just because insert actress name was in the movie. This is exactly how I feel about Anna Faris. I would watch her in anything.

Most of us got our first introduction to Faris in the Scary Movie films — if there was any reason at all to keep coming back for second and thirds of this trilogy, she was more than likely that reason. Faris can take the most mundane line in a movie and make it hilarious through her delivery and facial expressions. Now she is starring in the new comedy, The House Bunny, which premieres in August. Here is a peak at the trailer:

Faris plays a Playboy Playmate that has gone out to pasture at the ripe old age of 27. She is evicted from the Playboy Mansion and heads out into the world armed with only her talents as a Playboy Centerfold, which is not exactly an arsenal. Somewhere along the line she ends up finding her place as den mother to a gaggle of geeky sorority girls that could use her expertise to make them cool. (I smell makeover montage.) How do we know they are not cool? Well let’s take a look:

Before Playmate intervention (as seen in the trailer):

Glasses? Check.
Clothing that is not sewed onto their bodies? T-shirts and flannel, check.
No detection of any roused cheeks or glossy lips? None at all.
Back brace? Uh, sure.

I can credit a sleepless night (thank you, shot of espresso) and the Game Show Network for giving me my first look at the 1970’s game show Match Game. If you haven’t seen any episodes on GSN, I highly recommend dedicating a night of your choice to some retro fun. Nothing is better than watching sweet and innocent Betty White give saucy, innuendo ridden retorts or hearing Charles Nelson Riley make sly remarks commenting on his own sexuality. Sure it’s not that raunchy compared to what’s on TV now a days, but because you know that you are watching something from the early '70s you can’t help but turn into a little girl whose cheeks blush when Vicky Lawrence says the word “boobs." Suddenly you feel as though you shouldn’t be watching such things because your mother may come in and bust you.

Thankfully a new generation will get to bare witness to all the mayhem and double entendres when celebrities try to match contestants' answers in the upcoming TBS remake of Match Game.

If you aren’t familiar with how Match Game is played, I’ll give you a short tutorial: Two non-famous contestants (that I’m sure are trying to get famous) go head-to-head and try to fill in a blank that is in a sentence. The object of the game is to match your blank to the panel of celebrities’. The more celebs you match, the more points you earn. The winner gets to take home a brand new washer/dryer, or at least that’s what would happen in the '70s. I’m sure this updated version will have people taking home a few million bucks, or if they're very lucky, an iPod.

Yesterday Stuntdouble wrote about one of Entertainment Weekly's lists from their current classic list issue. Today I'm writing about another one of the many lists: a Top Ten list from Sarah Michelle Gellar in which she reveals the new classic male TV characters she wishes she could play. In response to this I have written Gellar a small letter. Eh hem.

Dear Sarah Michelle,

Can I call you Sarah? I’ll presume you've said no since I can’t hear your answer and we hardly know each other. I’m sure "Sarah" is reserved for the important people in your life such as your hubby Freddy Prinze Jr. I understand that you and I are, at this point, merely internet strangers. But I do hope that after you read this you will see that I am not so much a random blogger, but rather someone looking out for your best artistic interests and then just maybe you will email me begging me to please call you Sarah … and you in turn can call me Ree-ree.

Recently I came across the top ten list that you submitted to EW, "10 New Classic Male TV Characters you wish you could play." Now I’m sure EW approached you with that topic and that you aren’t sitting around in your home in Hollywood somewhere cussing the breasts and reproductive organs that are preventing you from landing these testosterone required roles; but just in case you ever do have a private moment of truly wishing you could have played those roles I thought I would take it upon myself to offer you potential alternative roles that women have played that are on par with you classic male choices:

You chose: Ricky Stratton, Silver Spoons
Because: "He used to ride that little train around his huge house. I wanted that train when I was a kid."

Suggested Female Equivalent: Punky Brewster, Punky Brewster
Because: OK, I admit I wanted that train too and the sports car-shaped bed he slept in, but that is no reason to pine for that role. Punky Brewster is a far meatier role for you than merely playing a spoiled rich kid. Punky was an orphan who was adopted by a widower. Hello? It is a kid actor’s dream role. Punky’s sparkly personality out weighs Ricky Stratton’s bank account. Her wardrobe is adorably free spirited complete with crazy color combinations, mismatched shoelaces and side pony tales. Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Ricky is tucking his salmon colored polo shirt into his chinos. Lame.

I can never decide which woman I want to wake up to in the morning. There are so many choices and to pick just one seems almost unnatural. One day I may want it to be Julie, the next day might be more of an Ann morning, or perhaps I want to be able to go back and forth between Diane and Meredith without having to feel a particular obligation to either one.

If only I could get all these ladies on one network. My morning television anchor women are just too enticing to simply limit myself to only one. And who could blame me when there are so many to choose from? It’s hard enough for deciding which color Converse I want to wear each day, never mind deciding who will deliver me my morning news amidst backdrops of New York tourists waving colorful poster board messages.

Here is a look at the women who make our mornings:

Ann Curry, The Today Show

Ann is why I am late to work in the mornings. That sultry voice that gives me the day’s top headlines captivates me like a cat to one of those laser pointers. I know I am not alone in my love of Curry. Angelina Jolie has made Ann her go-to reporter when it comes to exclusive interviews regarding her humanitarian efforts, Brad Pitt and even her children. (And who are we to question Angelina’s journalistic instincts?)

Ann is the perfect blend of intellect and fun. She can transition from interviewing the president of Sudan one minute to busting a move on Rockefeller Plaza all without losing a drop of journalistic integrity.

Meredith Viera, The Today Show

Meredith’s notoriety came when she served as moderator on The View. It was here that I gained that all important insight on her life that is necessary in trusting a journalist such as: learning that she doesn’t wear underwear (ever) and finding out how many orgasms she is capable of having. It was due to this time we had together that I really got to know who Meredith Viera really is. As a result, I jumped for joy when it was announced that she would he occupying the spot beside Matt Lauer as co-host of The Today Show. Viera is a candid and witty addition to the team; I love seeing her each morning with Matt, Al and Ann. Her personality blends perfectly with her new team of co-hosts.

Robin Roberts, Good Morning America

If I head over to ABC for some morning news coverage, I am greeted by one of the most impressive women in television journalism … no, not Diane Sawyer (though I hear she’s pretty good) but rather, Robin Roberts. Roberts is the other half of the only female co-anchor team on a major network’s morning television show. She filled the large shoes of Good Morning America’s Charlie Gibson after he moved to the evening news.

Roberts rocks on so many levels, where do I even begin? OK let me start by mentioning that this woman is a talented athlete. She played for the Lady Lions basketball team while she attended college at Southeastern Louisiana University. She graduated with 1,000 career points and 1,000 rebounds (translation for the athletically un-inclined: she was really, really good). Her athletic experiences lead her to jobs working at ESPN as well as a broadcaster for WNBA games.

You could also add survivor to the list of “other reasons to be awed by Robin Roberts." In July of 2007 Roberts was diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer. The news anchor allowed ABC to follow her through her doctor visits and even let them film her as she shaved her head after beginning her chemo treatments. Currently she is in full remission.

Roberts is naturally charismatic and so easy to watch. She has helped pave the way for women journalism and that is reason enough for me to have my coffee with her in the mornings.

Kathy Griffin is everywhere these days. The D-List star just wrapped up hosting duties on Bravo’s A-List Awards, the fourth season of her reality show My Life on the D-List just premiered on June 12th, and if you live in Los Angeles (and can still afford the gas for your car) you can cruise down to Sunset and Laurel Canyon and find the fiery red head on her very own billboard promoting her new CD, For Your Consideration.

Griffin has purposefully released this live recording of her February 17th show at the Grand Theater Center for the Arts in California, not so her fans can have her sassy commentary on celebrities at the touch of an iPod, but rather, so she could be in contention for the one award that has seemingly eluded her (and that she could possibly be eligible for since I don’t think any of us are seeing Oscar in her future): the Grammy.

Kathy’s reality show has already taken home Emmy gold and more recently she just won a GLADD award for Outstanding Reality TV Show. If Griffin gets her Grammy wish she will become a Hollywood triple threat: an Emmy award winning, Grammy winner, that is beloved by the gay community (it’s these kinds of accolades that have worked wonders for the careers of Liza and Barbara.)

Sweetie darlings, you will absolutely love this!

I know it’s not my birthday, but can it be just for today? The ENTIRE series of Absolutely Fabulous is now available on DVD and I think it would make the perfect gift for the AbFab fanatic in your life. (If you don’t happen to have an AbFab fanatic directly in your life then please allow me to step in and fill that roll for you. Please, I insist.) The new limited edition collection called Absolutely Everything is a nine-disc compilation of seasons one through five, plus various special episodes including “The Last Shout,” “The New York Specials” and “White Box” – not to mention tons of bonus footage and outtakes. Bloody brilliant!

Growing up I went to a myriad of high schools: West Beverly, Bayside and Sunnydale High, just to name a few. I know what you’re thinking: “Reese, were you some sort of teenage derelict with a long list of academic expulsions or were you some military brat moving from town to town, always the mid-year new girl?” Of course not — the answer is much simpler than that. I am merely a loyal viewer to any series that depicts the trying times of high school students. Watching these shows week to week was like graduating with degrees from all over the country (well most high school premised shows are set in California so at the very least, lot of degrees from California.)

For generations, television shows have tried to emulate the formula of high school life. The recipe for a good high school cast roughly remains the same no matter which show you are watching: Take a group of good looking teenagers, add trials and tribulations (i.e.: drunk driving, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, how to properly slay a vampire or, on rare occasions, homosexuality) and stir. I should note that when the topic of homosexuality does arise it is usually during sweeps (hat tip to The O.C.). But molds are being broken of late with shows like South Of Nowhere where gay characters are (gasp) recurring.

Recently the LA Times posted a few of their favorite teen casts, here is the best of that list with a few additions:

Beverly Hills, 90210

90210 created such a perfect high school formula that The CW has decided to do a remake of the show for their upcoming Fall season. But how can anyone replace Steve Sanders and his assortment of colorful button down shirts and those tight curly blond locks? Lightening doesn’t always strike twice, so let us be wary of this new generation of rich kids from Beverly Hills.

My So-Called Life

No series better encapsulated what it is like to be a teenager better than My So-Called Life. Angela Chase (Claire Danes) and her perceptive narratives was relatability to those awkward teenage moments. The show flourished with fans and critics (but sadly not with TV execs who canceled the series) because the characters were so unpolished and flawed. Even Angela, our narrator and protagonist, had her moments when you gushed with embarrassment for her.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Battling such demons in your mind as a teenager such as “should I skip 8th period math class and go to mall or stay and learn these damn algebraic equations once and for all” is hard enough. Add to that battling actual demons from the underworld that can seriously kill you … well that is just plain stressful. Such is life in Sunnydale with Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Willow (Allison Hannigan) and Xander (Nicholas Brandon ). These three teens slay vampires, fall in love and still manage to make it to school on time each day without even a single guidance counselor suspecting anything of their cuts and bruises. Buffy The Vampire Slayer balanced terror and humor without skipping a beat. The show even broke ground in having one of its characters, Willow, become one of the most prominent lesbian characters in network television history.

America is having a love affair with British television. This irresistible lust with BBC programming has brought us such TV juggernauts as The Office and American Idol, so it is with bated breath that we await HBO’s newest British import to be adapted to American television: Suburban Shootout.

Shootout is a satirical comedy about a woman who leaves the city for the safety of suburbia only to find herself caught between two rival gangs of vigilante housewives. (June Cleaver these women are not.) Both gangs are fighting for control of their small suburban neighborhood in the same homicidal spirit that Tony Soprano and his boys wanted to control New Jersey.

The American cast has just been finalized and from the looks of whom they have cast, this series seems very promising.

Judy Greer

Judy Greer is on tap to play the central role as the new housewife on the block that slowly finds out that these suburbs are no safer than the city she fled. This series could finally be Greer’s time to shine. In the past she hasn’t had the best of luck with sitcoms: Arrested Development only developed into three short seasons; Love Monkey got no love; and Miss Guided was led down a pathway to cancellation. I’ve been a huge fan of Greer’s ever since she stepped into the roll of the “flashy” executive assistant Kitty Sanchez in Arrested Development so it is great to see that she will finally get to showcase her comedic talents in another dark comedy – only this time she is heading a cast instead of playing a supporting role.

Recently the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences announced that it has approved a new Emmy Award category for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program. The competitive shoe will be on the other foot when the hosts battle it out with each other at the 2008 Emmy Awards. The category is open to hosts only so "reactive participants or judges" are not eligible to receive the award (sorry, Paula Abdul.)

Hosting is no easy task: each week these women help us wade through the competitive waters of posing, food plating, dating and hem lines. Let’s hope that some of these ladies have a chance at Emmy gold when they go up against some of the already assumed male nominees (I’m talking to you, Seacrest.)

Padma Lakshmi

Cookbook author, model, recent Hot 100 listmaker, and an ambassador for the United Nations Development Fund for Women: what is not to love about Padma Lakshmi? The TV host of Bravo’s Top Chef has the dutiful tasks of explaining elimination challenges and sitting at judges table critiquing the creations of talented chefs each week. A typical day for Padma may include discerning which tastes better: braised and grilled beef short ribs with mushrooms or a truffle and cognac cream macaroni and cheese? Talk about Sophie’s choice.

Padma balances respectability and likeability among the contestants despite having to be the one to deliver her signature send off to the ousted chefs each week: “Please pack your knives and go.” See, she even says “please.” What other host on reality TV has that kind etiquette?

The men have spoken: Maxim has come out with its annual list of the 100 Most Beautiful Women. This year’s list is a veritable who’s who of reality television, teen queens and people I’ve never even heard of. If you haven’t gotten around to picking up your copy of Maxim or your subscription has ill timely run out, don’t fret – here is a breakdown of this year’s chosen ones.

Knocking Lindsay Lohan off her throne at number one is Marisa Miller, a Sports Illustrated cover girl and Victoria’s Secret model. Poor Lindsay — how could she stand a chance against someone with that kind of resume? But fear not, as Lohan wasn’t completely ousted; she fell eight spots to number nine. (Maxim must deduct sexy points for DWI records.)

Filling in the rest of the top 10 are:

2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Jessica Biel
4. Eva Longoria Parker
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
6. Elisha Cuthbert
7. Eva Mendes
8. Christina Aguilera
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Ashley Tisdale

Let me continue on a positive note – there were some surprises: America Ferrera (No. 84), Danica Patrick (No. 91), Emma Watson (No. 94) and Zooey Deschanel (No. 95) all made the list. Granted they are all toward the bottom, but still this is progress and we need to start somewhere. Makes you wonder if maybe, just maybe, the guys over at Maxim got tipped off about the AfterEllen Hot 100 and decided to incorporate some of our carefully chosen favorites into their list. But then I came to No. 36 (Heidi Montag), No. 56 (Lauren Conrad), and No. 74 (Audrina Partridge) — all the ladies of MTV’s “reality” show The Hills were present and accounted for. Ah well, so much for progress.

If thousands of years from now our civilization becomes eradicated, much like that of the ancient Egyptians, archaeologists will sift through rock and debris and find artifacts that lead them to the logical conclusion that America had a queen and her name was Oprah. The talk show icon’s legacy will now live on forever thanks in part to sculptor Daniel Edwards, who has recently unveiled his newest piece: “Memories of Sophie and Gracie: A Puppies’ Memorial.”

Edwards created this monument in memory of Oprah’s Cocker Spaniel, Sophie, and Golden Labrador, Gracie, who both passed away this year. Why are the dogs sitting atop her golden head, you ask? Well, Edwards decided to take the road much less traveled in art and place them there for their literal significance: they are always on Oprah’s mind. His message received, I would say. Although Sophie died of natural causes, Oprah’s Labrador died from choking on a ball that she found somewhere within the vastness of the Winfrey estate; Edwards is hoping that his tribute to them will “serve as a reminder to all pet lovers to thoroughly ‘puppy-proof’ their pet’s habitat”. (A public service announcement might have been another helpful way to go about sending this message, but I won’t judge.)

This is not the first time Edwards sculpted a celebrity, or even Oprah for that matter. Back in January, he created a full body bronze sarcophagus of the TV host completely naked (and rather endowed, I might add). Edwards said he created this because he wanted to pay tribute to the closest thing we have in America to a “living deity.” I have always said that a pair of large breasts is a definite sign of godliness.

Lancôme, Chanel, Estée Lauder ... sacrebleu! With so many French words floating around the makeup counters these days, aren’t you glad that we have the familiar faces of celebrities to help sort them out? Thanks to them, I can easily distinguish Trésor de Lancôme from Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle by simply asking myself, “Do I want to smell like Kate Winslet or Keira Knightley today?” Everyday it’s a toss up.

Lately it has become more chic for celebrities to promote their own brand of stink, rather than promote a designer perfume (e.g., Celine Dion, J. Lo, Britney). But now some new pitch women have been added to high-end fragrances’ ad campaigns and thank goodness for that — it’s reassuring to know that our old favorite smells still have star power.

Recently, it was announced that Nicole Kidman, who was the face of Chanel No. 5, had been replaced by the adorable French actress Audrey Tautou, who will always be Amélie to me despite her other successful films (Dirty Pretty Things, Happenstance, The Da Vinci Code). Tautou will become the Chanel spokesmodel in early 2009, with a debut commercial helmed by her Amélie director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Déjà vu! Chanel's tribute to great directors and their actors began with Nicole Kidman working on her ad campaign with Moulin Rouge director Baz Luhrmann.