Penelope's stages of Oscar grief

I thought I'd check in to see how Penelope Cruz is handling her Oscar loss. Seems she has skipped right over denial and gone straight to the anger phase. When presented with a mini chocolate golden man recently, Penelope promptly bit the little guy's head off. Ouch.

Perhaps her next move shows that the lovely Spanish actress is now in the bargaining phase. Why else would she agree to make sweet love to Gandhi, er, I mean Ben Kingsley? Cruz will display her animal instinct in her next project, an erotic drama based on Philip Roth's novella The Dying Animal. The story centers on a student (Cruz) who has a torrid affair with her professor (Kingsley). The film will also star Patricia Clarkson. OK, fine, with all that talent on board, maybe it's not such a bad bargain. And just in case you needed a visual of what half (the good half) of this May-December tryst would look like, voila. I am nothing if not helpful.