Paula still pleading sober

Paula Abdul continues to defend herself from claims that she was somehow impaired during a recent live TV interview and during several American Idol airings. Clips of the interview have been removed from YouTube since I first visited this topic, but she certainly looked like she was in an altered state or otherwise not well.

In a panel discussion with TV journalists on Saturday, Abdul again gave the excuse that she was getting audio feeds from two separate stations in her earpiece at the same time: "That was a mistake I had nothing to do with. I didn't know I had two studios in my ear. I wish it were a better story, but that's it." What, is she serious? That's an excellent "story" — unless you call it that. But not until I read today's New York Times article had I heard what her response was when she was asked on American Idol why a particular contestant was eliminated: "Simon says because one of them ate pizza and the other one ate salad." Whether or not Simon really said something so inane, perhaps there lies the key to her zany behavior. She's said that she likes to make a game of stressful things, such as doing live TV, so maybe during that infamous interview her audio feed really went something like this:

• Simon says answer the question intelligibly!
• Simon says look alert and professional!
• Simon says gesticulate calmly!
• Slur your words and let your eyes roll back in your head!

Got you, Paula! Simon didn't say to! You're so out.