Best. Lesbian. Year. Ever. 2006

 
 

OCTOBER

RUNNING WITH CHRISTIANS ON THE SUNSET STRIP
Kristin ChenowethYou’ve got to hand it to Kristin Chenoweth: the Christian singer/actress (Wicked, The West Wing) puts her money where her mouth is. Or in this case, her mouth where her mouth is: “She has the best lips”, Chenoweth said recently of Running with Scissors co-star Annette Bening, with whom she has a fling in the film. “She was my first female kiss”, she said, and added teasingly, “And who knows if she‘ll be my last?”

This might be Chenoweth’s first lesbian kiss, but it isn’t her first time going to bat for our team: she’s playing the lead in the untitled upcoming biopic about queer singer Dusty Springfield, and she served as the MC at the 2005 Power Up gala (which honors lesbians in entertainment).

Harriet (Sarah Paulson)Chenoweth has also been in the news lately because of reports that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip creator Aaron Sorkin based Sarah Paulson’s Christian character Harriet on Chenoweth. “There’s an argument me and Aaron had and it’s pretty much verbatim [in the show],” Kristin recently confirmed to New York Dog magazine (yes, you read that right: New York Dog magazine). But, she noted, she definitely doesn’t share Harriet’s anti-gay rights stance. “I’m totally the opposite of that and that’s hard because people will be thinking: Is that really Kristin? But there’s nothing you can do about that stuff. You just have to let it go. It’s a little weird.”

This is the first I’ve heard that Harriet doesn’t support gay rights (this hasn’t been indicated on-screen yet). It’s a little disappointing–and ironic, considering who’s playing her–but whatever. I still like the character, and the show. And in case you’re wondering, Studio 60‘s ratings are okay so far–not great, but not terrible, either. Maybe God will pony up better ratings if Harriet gets over her problems with the gays? It’s worth a try, Aaron!

BUT CAN SHE HANDLE HOSTING THE OSCARS?
Just when I think America’s Next Top Model can’t get any gayer, they find another lesbian “undertone” to bring to the surface. In this week’s episode, Michelle came out as “maybe gay” to the other contestants, her mom (via the phone), and America at large, and nobody cared except her twin sister Amanda (and she was only worried about other people judging Michelle, not about Michelle being gay).

But here’s the fun part: the model wannabes were assigned to pose as both halves of a celebrity couple (the contestants were photographed as each person separately, then the two shots were photoshopped together), and guess who newly-out Michelle was assigned to portray? Ellen and Portia, naturally, the only same-sex couple in the bunch. And damn if Michelle didn’t do a pretty good job–Tyra called her Ellen impersonation “frighteningly” good. Here’s the end result:

Michelle on America's Next Top Model as Ellen and Portia

The National Enquirer is reporting that Ellen and Portia are getting married this summer–maybe Michelle could offer her services as a stand-in if Ellen gets cold feet.

In other lesbian reality TV news, out contestant Josie managed to avoid elimination on the first episode of Top Chef this week, despite delivering only mediocre frog leg nuggets with chicken liver peanut butter and eggplant jelly. Silly Josie–everyone knows frog leg nuggets go better with mayo.

DOES TIVO-ING WORK OUT COUNT AS EXERCISE?
Jackie WarnerGood news for lesbians and gym bunnies (and especially lesbian gym bunnies!): Bravo has picked up Work Out for a second season. Jackie Warner posted this note about it on her MySpace profile last week:

Hey everyone! We received an official pick-up on Bravo today! We start shooting in November so life is gonna get crazier! Thanks for your support throughout this whole adventure. I hope to make the show 10 times better and more inspiring than last…. xo-jackie

Speaking of MySpace, I finally broke down and created MySpace profile of my own. I have no plans, however, to open my own gym or let my girlfriend bite me. At least not in public.

NOVEMBER

AND WE MAKE STRONGER MARTINIS, TOO
Is crime fiction written by lesbians more violent? That’s the latest controversial topic being discussed among crime fiction writers since (straight male) novelist Ian Rankin told a reporter in October that “The people writing the most graphic violence today are women… they are mostly lesbians as well, which I find interesting.” Lesbian novelist Val McDermid called Ian’s assertion “laughable”, asking, ““What is really going on here? What is really being said? Is it homophobia? Sexism? Fear and envy? Or is it that the boys don’t think the women really have the right to explore the territory that has been traditionally theirs, to wit, the nature and effect of violence? Whatever the answer, it’s not pretty.”” Then she stabbed him in the chest repeatedly with a butcher knife and fed him to her piranhas.

ALL MY CHEATING GIRLFRIENDS
BiancaThe question of whether Bianca and Maggie became more than friends when they moved to Paris together was finally answered once and for all this week when Bianca (Eden Riegel) confessed that she recently discovered Maggie has been cheating on her. Now that she’s discovered the love that dare not speaks it name, Maggie apparently wants to sow her wild bisexual oats. ““I’m hurt, and lost, and really, really angry”, ”said viewers Bianca, who nonetheless admitted that ““if [Maggie] walked through that door right now, I would take her back.”

Don’t get your hopes up, Bianca – lesbians on All My Children aren’t actually allowed to have relationships. At least, not with a woman in the same country.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“It was funny, that part came in the middle of a trilogy of lesbian roles for me. I had just played a closeted lesbian suburban wife in an indie movie, and then I played a lesbian detective on Karen Sisco. Do I give off a girl-on-girl vibe, I wonder? Or is it because I’m tall? I guess the chicks just dig me!”

- Grey’s Anatomy star Kate Walsh in the November issue of Women’s Health magazine, on playing Sandra Oh’s girlfriend in 2003′s Under the Tuscan Sun

SPASHLEY CUTS CLASS, CRASHES POWER UP
I spent time with the cast and crew of South of Nowhere this weekend, and I can tell you two things for sure. Maeve Quinlan would make a great lesbian, and the SON folks are definitely aware of concerns around the disparity in the physical affection demonstrated by Spencer and Ashley compared to the show’s straight couples, because I told creator Tom Lynch about it myself at lunch. I don’t have any answers to report back – it’s unclear exactly who/what is driving this, but the usual reasons shows employ a double-standard around same-sex affection seem to be a factor here (it’s a basic cable network, it fears a backlash, etc.). The good news is that Tom was definitely open and interested in the feedback, but since the second season has finished filming, we’ll have to wait until the third season (assuming the show gets renewed) to see if there will be any change.

Oh, and anyone who thinks Mandy and Gabby are the problem couldn’t be more wrong. No, I’m not saying their gay (they’re not), but that they’re big fans of Spashley, as you can tell by their willingness to spend a night being fawned over by lesbians:

The cast of SON

It was a good thing Maeve didn’t bring her alter-ego Paula – with so many lesbians to walk in on, her head might have exploded.

GOOD NEWS FOR BAD GIRLS
Logo is expected to announce next week that they have acquired all 8 seasons of Bad Girls, to begin airing early next year. For those of you who don’t follow British television, this is a series about women in prison that features several lesbian storylines, including a baby-knapping, a lesbian vampire, and a really bad theme song. Oh, no wait. Wrong lesbian soap opera! This one just has relationships.

THANK GOD!
Eva Longoria publicly denounced this week the rumors that she and Beyonce are planning to star in an American version of Tipping the Velvet, the BBC mini-series about a lesbian couple in Victorian-era London. “Stop the madness” Longoria told People magazine. “Believe me, I would love to work with Beyonce one day. She’s so talented. But this is definitely not something we are doing together. It’s completely and absolutely not true.”

All I can say is: duh! This sounded about as plausible as Lindsay Lohan and Lara Flynn Boyle teaming up for a remake of Desert Hearts. And about as appealing.

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