Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (September 26, 2008)

LUCY LAWLESS TO APPEAR IN THE FINAL SEASON OF THE L WORD — LET LOOSE YOUR BEST XENA BATTLE CRY
Xena and Battlestar Galactica star Lucy Lawless has been added to the ever-growing list of celesbians slated to pop up in the final season of The L Word.

Oh sure. Bring out the big guns now.

This is no information about Lucy’s role in Season 6 yet, beyond this last sentence from her post on her fan club blog: "Also, look for me on The L Word at some point. Can’t tell you anything about that — it’s deep in the closet."

Gear up the atomic speculator machine. "At some point?" How many episodes is that, exactly? "It’s deep in the closet?" Wink, nudge. Drop hints much? So, Lawless is going to play a closeted lesbian? A storage system consultant? An old pair of Uggs? What?

In a recent interview with The Bay Area Reporter, Lucy teased us some more, saying "Oh, I don’t know if it’s been announced, but I’ll give it to you: I’m going to do a guest spot on The L Word." But as for whether she’ll be playing a lesbian, she said, "I don’t know. They’ve sent me several scripts, and I haven’t been through them all, which I must do soon!" (thanks to AE reader Natalia for the tip!)

Stop taunting us with your skimpy tank top and panties, you give us some details, woman. On second thought, don’t stop.

Does anyone remember that, had things gone differently, Lucy might have embodied the role of Marina? Karman would have had to come up three octaves and throw in a Kiwi accent for our WGN re-enactments. "G’dday, Jenny. I’m using my sexual mind control on you …"

In an Advocate interview in October 2006, Lucy talked about being approached by Chaiken and company:

They came to me about The L Word early on. Then they got some girl with a Xena haircut [Karina Lombard]. That’s what often happens to me. They came to me about [the 1999 movie] Pushing Tin, and then at the last minute they said, “Oh, never mind,” because Billy Bob [Thornton] had met Angelina [Jolie]. So what did they do? They gave her the haircut! I can’t use that haircut anymore, because everyone else has done it.

I didn’t know Lucy held the patent on long, straight locks with bangs, but I do know what it might have looked like had she been offered the role of Jenny’s hypnotic, exotic, erotic obsession.

Lucy joins other L Word final-season additions Elizabeth Berkley (Showgirls), who will play an art gallery owner who’s also "the straight girl that got away from [Bette] in college," and Mei Melancon (X-Men: The Last Stand), who will play a social worker from a downtown L.A. shelter.

It’s also been reported that Papi (Janina Gavankar), who unceremoniously disappeared last year, will resurface. I can’t wait to hear where she’s been hiding. And Dylan (Alexandra Hedison), the manipulative filmmaker-slash-blackmailer is also going to rear her scheming little head.

Now, if only they will bring back Carmen de la Pica Morales (Sarah Shahi), I can die happy.

— by Dara Nai

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