Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (September 18, 2009)

STELLA GETS A GIRLFRIEND ON THE AUSSIE COP DRAMA RUSH
Thanks to AfterEllen.com reader Sophia we now know that the Aussie cop drama Rush has given its bisexual character, Stella Dagostino (Nicole da Silva), a girlfriend. And I now know that that Rush is better than every police procedural in America.

Maybe it’s the snappy Sorkin walk-n-talk meets crazy CSI artistry. Maybe it’s the sexy cars and guns and accents. Or maybe it’s the deliciously angry subtext between Stella and her gun-wielding boss, Kerry Vincent (Catherine McClements).

For ignorant Yanks (like myself, up until a few hours ago), here’s a rundown: Rush follows the lives of Melbourne’s Tactical Response Team. They’re smarter than you and they’ve got the technology to prove it. Stella is a part of the unit. Her bisexuality was hinted at in the first season, and although she’s already shagged fellow officer MichaelSandrelli in this (second) season, she’s got a girlfriend named Alana now.

And here’s how we meet her in episode nine:

Alana: Oi, you taste like a peach.

Stella: God, stop it.

Alana: All juicy and —

Stella: What are you doing to me?

Alana: Me? How ’bout you?

Stella: Hey, I’m just hanging around.

Alana: Gee, that’s flattering.

Stella: Well, maybe not just hanging.

Alana: [flirty] Oh, now you’ve gone too far.

Stella: You don’t make it easy, do you?

Alana: Who wants easy?

I don’t care about easy, but I’ll tell you what I do want: I want this scene to go on for another ten minutes, because Stella and Alana are sizzling together. Seriously, there’s more lesbian action in the first minute of this episode than there will be on all network TV in the U.S. all year.

After making out for a while, Alana takes Stella to a sexy-car meet-up where some Fast and Furious action is about to go down. Unfortunately for Stella, some drug action is about to go down, too — and she’s a cop.

Stella: [After watching a covert drug exchange] Al, what’s the deal?

Alana: Oh, just relax, hmm? Enjoy yourself for once. Then you can go into work tomorrow and kiss your boss’ ass.

Stella: Come on, I’m not sure she’d be into that.

If you haven’t yet met Stella’s boss, let me assure you, she would so be into that.

To wit: When Stella and Alana get busted for racing cars, she goes to get Stella out of jail, and they have this little conversation.

Kerry: So, what about the girl?

Stella: Which girl?

Kerry: The girl who was with you in the car, the owner of the vehicle. The girl I released an hour ago.

Stella: She’s a friend.

Kerry: Uh huh. You think I’m your friend, Stella?

Stella: You’re my boss.

Alana: That’s right; so, why shouldn’t I sack you right now?

Stella: I’m sorry.

Alana: Do you know how much work we’ve put into you?

Stella: I’m sorry.

Alana: Me and Lawson and this whole police force: we took this reckless wannabe and made her the real deal. Now what, you want to just throw that back in our face?

Stella: I’m sorry.

Alana: Say that once more and you will be.

Meow! Who’s the big butch, then? And where’s the Stella/Kerry fan fiction? That’s what I want to know.

Kerry tells Stella that she’d better find the guy behind the car races (and drug deals) by the end of the day, or she’s off the team. After floundering around with Michael, chasing a lot of lame leads, Kerry takes matters into her own hands and drives them to the Big Crime Guy’s posh apartment. Only guess who’s waiting inside? Yep, it’s Stella’s girlfriend, Alana.

Lucky(ish) for both of them, Kerry is only interested in finding the Big Crime Guy. She tells Stella if she wants to keep her job, she’d better get the information from her “friend.”

Stella: Where’s Matt?

Alana: I don’t know.

Stella: That woman standing behind me with a gun strapped her thigh, she wants to kill me right now, and possibly you too. Tell me where he is.

Alana: I haven’t seen him since this morning.

Stella:I need his number.

Alana: This isn’t my idea of a romantic meeting, Stella.

Stella: Well, mine either, but right now you need to work with me.

Alana: OK. [She gives Stella her phone.]

They finally catch the Big Crime Guy in the end, but Kerry tells Stella she still hasn’t decided if she can come back to work tomorrow, and, insult to injury, she makes her take the public bus to the station instead of riding back in the police car: “You’ve had enough free rides for today.”

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

It seems to be a pretty common consensus that Stella’s girlfriend is only around to provide an obstacle between her and Michael. Maybe so, but still, mad props to Channel 10 for treating Stella and Alana’s relationship with the gravitas and normalcy of a heterosexual relationship. And for not shying away from the kissing.

And, for a special treat, here are the Stella/Alana/Kerry scenes from episode nine. Normally, I’d just give you Stella and Alana, but you really need to meet Kerry, and watch her walk and talk. Delicious.

Part 1:

Part 2:

— by StuntDouble

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