Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (September 11, 2009)

MTV’S THE RUINS BRINGS US FIERCE AND FABULOUS FEMALE COMPETITORS
I hope I’m not alone in my obsession for junky MTV “reality shows.” What’s not to love about Real World/Road Rules Challenge? Greedy, phony twenty-somethings with nothing else going for them in life but drinking heavily and taking steroids in order to win a crap-load of money.

Since there are usually a handful of out contestants, too, there’s plenty of gay drama to keep me satisfied, too.

The physical challenges are fun to watch and the women of past Real World and Road Rules casts are even more fun. Since over a decade ago, MTV’s Real World/Road Rules Challenges have pitted the aforementioned cohort of cast members against one another for an all out ovaries-to-the-wall battle, complete with backstabbing, betrayal and beautiful people hooking up.

On Sept. 30, MTV will debut its latest creation, The Ruins, which distinguishes the seasoned, surreptitious veterans from the green newbies in two teams of “Champions” and “Challengers,” respectively. This time around, there are $300,000 up for grabs and chances every week to steal money from opponents and send them packing.

On the last challenge, The Duel 2, our very own openly gay Rachel Robinson came out on top of the girls (and literally on cast mate Jenn — and maybe Aneesa, too) and snagged the $100,000 cash prize.

This season, past competitor and multiple challenge winner, Evelyn Smith, is the sole lesbian holding down the fort. She has participated in Fresh Meat, led her team to monetary victory in Inferno 3 and The Island and made a lady friend in Gauntlet III.

Just to refresh your memory, Evelyn and Brooke LaBarbera from Real World: Denver shared a steamy kiss in the Gauntlet house pool, followed by a short-lived fling. Apparently Evelyn’s head wasn’t in the game because it was elsewhere, and thus, caused her to lose.

One thing is for sure, though: Evelyn is a fierce competitor (and has great arms).

MTV describes her as “arguably the strongest woman to ever play the game,” and with her dynamite team of bulging biceps and schemers who really need to find a grown-up job, perhaps Evelyn will come out victorious.

Evelyn

Strengths: Obliterating her competition in one fell swoop in any physical test.

Weaknesses: Bullies, brunettes and brain teasers

Representing the “Challengers” as well as the bisexual team is Sarah Rice of Real World: Brooklyn. A self-proclaimed social outcast, Sarah will have to fight just as hard to win her teammates’ acceptance as the $300,000 prize.

Sarah

Strengths: Art, teaching art and making the world a prettier place!

Weaknesses: Rainbows, smiles and tattoos

Surprise addition to The Ruins’ cast is veteran and notorious Challenge “mean girl,” Veronica Portillo from Road Rules: Semester at Sea. Perhaps she is better known for her threesome in a shower with Rachel and competitor Abram in The Gauntlet. Veronica has appeared in nine MTV shows and is dubbed the “queen of manipulation,” which is sure to shake things up on the challenge.

Veronica

Strengths: Godfather-like manipulation, criminal mastermind and the ability to make any fool cry who dares stand in her path to the finish.

Weaknesses: Heights, Rachel’s bod and cute little puppies

The Ruins should be pretty fun with its tears, tawdriness and treachery in Thailand, but don’t expect anything other than that. I’ll be rooting for my girls come Sep. 30 — will you?

— by drummerdeeds

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