Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (October 12, 2007)

AFTERELLEN.COM’S LESBIAN REALITY TV STAR AWARDS (NO, TILA’S NOT A WINNER. YET.)
TV Squad recently posted their list of the top 10 bad-ass women of reality TV. Unsurprisingly, several of the women are lesbians, including Coral Smith from MTV’s Real World: Back to New York (No. 9), Heather West from Season 2 of Hell’s Kitchen (No. 7) and Jackie Warner of Work Out, who tops the list as the No. 1 Bad-ass (defeating even Janice Dickinson, who must be pissed!).

Here’s what TV Squad says about Jackie:

When watching the show, you can really tell that the key to her success is that she demands the best from both her trainers and her clients. And her employees, who sometimes disagree with Jackie in their confessionals or private conversations with one another, never really have the guts to tell her off. Why? Because they know, they’d probably be out of a job. Furthermore, they know that if it wasn’t for Jackie’s awesome abs, they wouldn’t have clients in the first place. So, show some respect, meatheads!

I am not one to disagree with this assessment. You can’t compete with Jackie’s abs. Or the rest of her muscles, either.

Given the large number of lesbians and bisexual women on reality TV (not to mention the debut this week of Tila Tequila‘s dating show), this seemed to be an opportune moment to call out some of reality TV’s best most memorable lesbian contestants. Here’s how I would reward their narcissism:

No. 1 Womon – Ami Cusack (Survivor)

Back on Season 9 of CBS’ Survivor: Vanuatu, which was split into tribes of men vs. woman, Ami held together a women’s alliance until she was voted off the island, making it to the final six contestants. The guys noticed, too, characterizing her leadership skills as "woman power." Ami, to her credit, never rejected that label and stuck with the women womyn till the end.

No. 1 Bitch – Ivette Corredero (Big Brother)

On Season 6 of CBS’ Big Brother, Ivette became the first openly lesbian houseguest and immediately proceeded to generate a bad reputation for herself by making awful remarks about Muslims. Nonetheless, she made it to the top two, showing that bitchiness does pay (at least on TV).

No. 1 Gateway – Kim Stolz (America ‘s Next Top Model)

Who could forget the infamous night-vision camera recording Kim’s midnight rendezvous with fellow model wannabe Sarah Rhoades, a small-town heretofore heterosexual girl from Boonville, Mo. Kim certainly wasn’t shy, declaring after kissing Sarah in the ANTM limo, "One down, 11 to go!" Clearly, Kim thought she was a contestant in America’s Next Top Lesbian.

No. 1 Ex – Mimi Saraiva (Work Out)

Ah, Mimi. Known for her biting, being Brazilian and her artwork of blind, legless chickens, Mimi put the extreme in ex. She topped it all off by throwing a glass (including the water it contained) at then-girlfriend Jackie Warner shortly after the No. 1 Badass screamed, "Leave my existence!" After a brief and fruitless attempt at couples’ therapy, she did. Buh-bye, Mimi.

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