WITH ENEMIES LIKE THESE …
Saffron Burrows has been cast opposite Christian Slater in NBC’s upcoming drama series My Own Worst Enemy, which will air Mondays at 10 p.m. this fall.
Slater plays Henry, a suburban dad whose alter ego, Edward, is a spy. Burrows will play Norah, Edward’s girlfriend and Henry’s shrink. (Confused yet? Me too.)
I’m trying to think of an odder romantic pairing than Saffron Burrows and Christian Slater, but I’m not coming up with one … oh, wait! How about Saffron Burrows and James Spader on Boston Legal? That was a crime against humanity. And elevators.
SHARK ATTACKED BY BISEXUAL KILLER
AE reader LostSoul tipped me off that this week’s episode of CBS’ just-canceled legal drama Shark ("One Hit Wonder") featured a bisexual killer, just in time for sweeps! And it’s a good thing, too, because it’s been at least a month since the last bisexual killer was on TV, and I was starting to go through withdrawal.
The short version of the episode plot is this: An up-and-coming singer is murdered when she reacts negatively to the declaration of love made by her manager/mentor (played by Mädchen Amick), and the enraged manager kills her with her golf club. Said manager then proceeds to seduce one of the (male) prosecutors in an attempt to throw him off the track. It doesn’t work, and she’s eventually hauled off to jail.
All I can say is, with all these bisexual killers running around, I feel lucky to have gotten out of my relationships with my bisexual ex-girlfriends alive!
Now, thanks to television, I know better than to turn my back on a bisexual woman, lest I get a golf club upside the head.
— by Sarah Warn