Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (May 16, 2008)


SHOULDN’T SHE WIN SOME TYPE OF AWARD FOR THIS?
There’s really no point in asking any straight women whom they’d go gay for because the answer is always Angelina Jolie. Sure, she’s many lesbians’ first-choice celebrity crush, too, but that’s because we have good taste and have all seen Gia. But really — everyone has different types and tastes, so Angelina is becoming a boring standby for straight actresses who name her as the one female they’d french for a film.

The latest lady to name Angie as her gay-for-pay female of choice is HeroesHayden Panettiere. “If I’m going to be linked with someone, I could do an affair with Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba or Charlize Theron,” she told The Sun. “And Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. There are so many beautiful girls.”

The original interview has been picked up by several outlets touting headlines such as, “Hayden has lesbian fantasies.” Uh, sorry folks, the more accurate headline would be "Hayden has bicurious fantasies."

It’s also unlikely that Jolie, who is now pregnant with Brad Pitt‘s twins, would be into any kind of pseudo-lesbian action again in the near future. Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan, Eve and all the others who have cited Angelina as their so-called “lesbian fantasy” will probably have better luck elsewhere — like a new Woody Allen movie.

PATRICIA FIELD DOES COKE (BOTTLES)
Whoever started the rumor that lesbians don’t know fashion doesn’t watch Sex and the City. Out fashion designer and stylist Patricia Field is the brilliant redhead behind the wardrobe of the TV show as well as for the film version, which premiered in London this week. Field isn’t limiting her design skills to clothing, though; she recently designed Coca Cola bottles for a limited-edition line available only at Selfridges, the London department store.

Field and artist Martine co-designed four bottles of Diet Coke for the City Collection, each with its own distinct color and representation: gold for career, red for passion, pink for love and turquoise for fashion.

In the press release, Field said: “I love to push fashion boundaries and giving one of the most famous brands in the world a stylish new look has been fantastic. I immediately imagined glamorous glittery dresses following the feminine contours of the diet Coke bottles.”

This news has me thinking about other superficial tie-ins that lesbians could do. Maybe Suze Orman could design new dollar bills, or Sheryl Swoopes could come out with her own line of sports bras.

Better yet, how about some other lesbians get hired by corporate companies to represent things that are totally unrelated to their careers — like k.d. lang hawking lingerie. I can see a Victoria Secret product line in her future.

by Trish Bendix

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