Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (June 15, 2007)

In a brief interview with E! Online, out actress Heather Matarazzo reveals that she doesn’t remember a thing about her big scene in Hostel: Part II.

"By the time we got to that torture scene, I was completely naked except for a triangle patch covering my hoo-ha," she said. "I was dragged out by my ankles, hung 15 feet up in the air with chains on my wrists and a gag in my mouth. It was an out-of-body experience. I really honestly cannot remember a single thing that happened." Here she is in a much less harrowing scene:

Unfortunately, Heather, I can remember every detail: I saw the movie this week. I know, I know: It was wrong of me to feed that beast with my $10.50. But, well, I didn’t hate it. Not because I think torture porn is a good thing, but because there were some interesting lesbianish moments.

First of all, the scene Matarazzo has so blissfully forgotten is obviously an homage to the Countess Bathory, that legendary lesbianish pseudo-vampire who bathed in the blood of virgins to keep herself young (if you really want to know more, read the book Dracula Was a Woman or Pam Keesey‘s fabulous books Daughters of Darkness and Dark Angels, but don’t blame me if you have nightmares).

And as Brian Juergens of said in an email to me, the main character (Beth, played by Lauren German) might be gay or bisexual. She rebuffs every man who expresses an interest in her, but she doesn’t even blink when a manipulative Slovakian model (Vera Jordanova) shows some affection during a trip to the hot springs. (Yeah, it sounds like late-night Cinemax.)

I mean, yeah, I’m reaching a bit, and I’d prefer to get my positive gay images from movies that don’t also involve some pretty misogynistic images (surprisingly, not the bloodier ones but the images of prostitutes and exotic dancers). But let’s not get crazy. Anyway, I like Heather Matarazzo and I’m glad I got to see her and her finely sculpted neck and shoulder muscles on the big screen. (Hanging upside down has its health benefits; just ask Rosie O’Donnell.)


In the June 10 issue of The New York Times, the Sunday Styles section celebrated the commitment ceremony of Mary McBride and Leslie Kotz. McBride is a country-folk singer, and Klotz is the director of business development at a Manhattan talent agency. They exchanged vows in Montego Bay in May; both wore lovely white dresses.

It’s all sweetness and light until you get to this sentence in the article, in which they recount how they came to share an abode and a future: "Ms. McBride moved in gradually, at first bringing just her books, then her clothes, then her guitar and then her rusty furniture, which made it official."

That’s right, because nothing says "I love you in a gay way" like a six-string and a truckload of rusty furniture! Also, tsk tsk, New York Times: Did you just make the U-Haul joke?!

Meanwhile, in an essay in the June 11/18 issue of The New Yorker, Miranda July (Me and You and Everyone We Know) recalls the experience of making her first movie back in 1996. That was the year she was "giving lesbianism a whirl and had cut off all her hair." Giving it a whirl? Did you go on one of those amusement park rides too, Miranda? At least you didn’t say it was a phase and then throw up on Denis Leary’s carpet.

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