Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (July 31, 2009)

"After doing Better Than Chocolate, I got sent every lesbian script out there. And a lot of them were insulting in how they portray lesbians. A lot of them have questionable motives and questionable execution, in my opinion. … it was a lesbian character that was that way because she had been abused, or she had her heart broken by a man. It was a reactionary choice that made her go to the other side. Or the other versions are: She can be a part of a three-way, so a bunch of guys can get their rocks off, or she’s crazy, or a black widow, or a damaged woman, or a stalker. And it’s like, ‘Wow, this is not the way.’"

—Actress Christina Cox (Defying Gravity), in an inteview with, on the types of lesbian characters she routinely sees in the scripts she’s offered.

Finally, Mary McCormack had a lesbian scene on In Plain Sight.

While we would’ve preferred that McCormack actually had been one of the lesbians, we’ll take what we can get. Besides, when Kelly Hu and Sherilyn Fenn play the lesbians, we can’t complain.

Fenn plays Helen, a master counterfeiter who is now in the witness protection program. Seems that Helen’s ex-girlfriend, Ahn Li (Hu) went into the closet, literally, with Helen’s male partner-in-crime and Helen caught them playing tongue hockey.

Responding as any normal lesbian counterfeiter would, Helen turned herself and her partner in to the Secret Service.

The story gets a little complicated at that point and I don’t want to spoil it for you. Suffice it to say that the counterfeiting ring was not your normal, run-of-the-mill criminal operation and, as a result, Helen is hiding from all sorts of dangerous types — including the CIA.

Helen misses Ahn — and who wouldn’t? Even Mary thinks she’s hot. But eventually, she settles into a new life with a new girlfriend. Until said girlfriend turns up dead and Helen is the prime suspect.

The good news about the story is that even though the lesbians are pretty screwed up, it’s not because they’re lesbians. And we do get to see a little Sapphic snogging before all is said and done.

We have to endure one semi-gratuitous scene in a lesbian bar where Marshall practically drools at the sight of the forbidden fruits (yawn), but Mary’s awesomeness makes it bearable.

Here’s hoping that some day, writers can feature lesbian characters without throwing in a tired joke about straight men getting turned on by them.

The episode, “Let’s Get It Ahn,” will be available for viewing at the USA website next week.

— by The Linster

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