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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (January 7, 2011): Watch Rachel Maddow video from the vault, meet Vanity Theft

Pretty Little Liars. PLL is back with a bang!. Emily came out to her dad in this week’s episode and he took it pretty well. Maybe he was just relieved to learn that she wasn’t pregnant with a werewolf cub. Or a vampire baby.

Vanity Fair. The magazine took a look back a 2010’s “Gayest Glee Moments.” Coming in at No. 2 was the “Duets” episode (aka “The Full Etheridge”) in which “Brittany and Santana finally bumped spanky pants.”

Georgann Coleman. The Chicago lesbian landed her spot on the Food Network’s Worst Cooks in America after being nominated by her wife. Maybe her potluck fare just wasn’t up to snuff..

The People’s Choice Awards. The show itself wasn’t particularly memorable, but The Gays (Jane Lynch, Neil Patrick Harris) won big and were the most interesting part of the whole evening. Per the norm.

Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. The Starz series is back again this month, this time featuring a love scene between Lucy Lawless and Jaime Murray (Dexter). Starz is launching a new iPad app for the series and a Facebook game too. Hopefully both will feature said love scene.

The State Department. U.S. Passport applications will now read “Parent” and “Parent” (rather than “Mother” and “Father”) thanks, in part, to the efforts of our friends at Mombian.com, who started a petition for the change back in July, and the Family Equality Council.

Skins. We’re counting down to the Jan. 17 premiere of the US version of Skins, and our own Heather Hogan says it’s worth the wait. We’re also partial to the new opening sequence and promo for UK Skins Season 5 (premiering Jan. 27). Hey, Franky, Elly Jackson called, and she wants her inscrutable androgyny back!

Rebecca Drysdale. The out comic has delivered a dynamite “It Gets Better” video. Or, rather, music video. Smart, funny and catchy to boot, we give it two unicycles up!

Gabrielle Christian. One half of Spashley is back and playing gay again! Christian (as Rose) co-stars along with Jade Catta Pretta (Lisa) in the short film You Are Cordially Uninvited, about a bride-to-be who is having trouble coming out to her family. So do we call them Risa? Lose? Do they even care, as long as we just call them?

Coronation Street. Much to our delight, Sophie and Sian broke their vows of celibacy (aka “bumped spanky pants”) on this week’s episode. It was a truly religious experience.

Jersey Shore. New Jersey Shore castmate Deena Nicole says, “I’m not a lesbian, but when I get drunk I like to kiss” We’ll probably see lots of evidence of this when the show premieres. By the way, what have we done to deserve this?

People who jack Amber Heard’s ride. Out actress Amber Heard told The Daily Mail that she loves her vintage Mustang and that it’s repeatedly stolen and taken for joyrides. But she says they always recover her car, and that she knows how to hotwire it too. Yeah, we’re basically just looking for any reason to write about Amber Heard. And to run a picture of her in the Mustang.

Ramin Setoodeh. The Newsweek journalist who once argued that gay actors can’t convincingly play straight now says that Hollywood isn’t casting gay actors in gay parts (misquoting an AfterElton.com article to prove his point) and took his “daring” accusations to The Joy Behar Show. He also complained about being unfairly criticized by gay media outlets for his opinions. Who made this guy the expert anyway?

Kathy Griffin. One of our favorite gay allies is pulling the plug on her hit Bravo show, My Life on the D-List. We’ll miss her, but will just have to console ourselves by watching all four of her scheduled Bravo stand-up specials this year.

Gwyneth Paltrow. We’re not keen on the idea of her starring in a biopic about Marlene Dietrich. The rumor is that Paltrow will play Dietrich in a two-part TV movie produced by Luc Besson‘s new EuropaCorp TV.

Chris Brown. The singer, who was already on our s–t list, is “apologizing” for his homophobic exchange with Raz-B on Twitter. Brown stated, “I love all of my fans, gay and straight. I have friends from all walks of life and I am committed, with God’s help, to continue becoming a better person.” Hopefully God will take control of Brown’s Twitter account from now on too.

CNN. GLAAD has issued a Call to Action against CNN for giving anti-gay bigots a platform in the name of “balance” when they air segments with LGBT content.

Chik-fil-A. In an effort to strengthen “traditional marriage,” the fast food chain is joining forces with NOM’s Ruth Institute (you know, the homophobes who say The Gays don’t own the rainbow symbol). Fine. We never liked waffle fries anyway.

TLC. The network is giving pastor Ted Haggard his own “reality project.” You remember Haggard! He’s the homophobic former leader of the National Association of Evangelicals who was caught in an affair with a male prostitute. The one-hour special premieres on January 16, so the term “January junk” applies to TV as well as movies. We wonder what show wasn’t greenlit in order to make room for this one.

Navy Capt. Owen P. Honors. The USS Enterprise captain was was relieved of his command when it was discovered that he had made “lewd” videos as morale boosters for his crew three years ago. The videos included gay slurs and footage of actress Glenn Close from her visit to the carrier. Close was outraged that her image was used to “perpetuate something that I abhor.” Queerty.com agreed, noting that she was “clearly miscast.”

THIS JUST IN: INTRODUCING VANITY THEFT

If you haven’t heard the pouty-lipped pop rock coming from Ohio’s Vanity Theft, you’re missing out. The foursome has put together a solid album, Get What You Came For, that is set for release Feb. 1 There’s something for just about everyone’s mood, but a standout track for me has to be “Anatomy,” an anthem that confidently discloses, “And besides, baby, I don’t want you for your mind,” which is something I’ve always wanted someone to say to me. Stop wanting me for my mind, people!

The ladies have already toured with AfterEllen.com favorites Sick of Sarah and they’re about to embark on a cross-country tour with our other gal pals, Hunter Valentine. We were able to catch Vanity Theft drummer, Elyse Driskill, to get a little backstory and hear about what’s in store for the band this year.

AfterEllen.com: When did you first pick up the drums?

Elyse Driskill: I started playing in high school when Britney, our guitarist, had been playing for a couple of years, and I guess she just wanted someone to jam with. She had a drum kit in her basement and one day she was like, “You’re gonna play the drums,” and I was like, “OK,” and then from that day on I just started playing.

AE: So, have you ever had any formal lessons?

ED: No, I’ve never taken lessons, which is kind of funny. I would love to, I just have never found the time so I just taught myself everything.

AE: That’s crazy awesome to be able to pick it up like that — how many hours did you have to practice in order to get this good and be able to sustain your friendship in the band?

ED: Really, we didn’t start playing out for a couple of years, we never really tried to sit down and practice. We just got together and jammed which is basically how I practiced. I took it as it came.

AE: All of you besides Lalaine met in high school?

ED: Yeah, Britney and I went to the same school and Alicia went to a close one. Britney had met her at a fundraising thing for homeless people. Alicia’s band was playing there and so that’s how they met. Then Alicia just started coming over to Britney’s place and we all started jamming together.

AE: What was your first impression of Alicia?

ED: Shoot, I don’t remember. I just remember thinking we just clicked as soon as she started hanging out with us. We all got along so easily; we all made each other laugh. Sometimes when you play music with other people it’s weird and you get self-conscious. But when we first met, it was just really easy to put yourself out there. She wasn’t a judgmental person so it was just easy.

AE: So you had a different bassist to start out with right?

ED: We’ve actually had three!

AE: How did Lalaine get involved with the group and did you have preconceived notions about her since she was coming from a Disney show (Lalaine was previously on Lizzie McGuire)?

ED: Actually no! We met her while we were recording the album because she was friends of friends. One night we were hanging out and joking around and we’re like, “What if Lalaine was our bassist?” So it kind of started out as a joke but then we actually asked her and she suggested a different friend because her friend played (bass). That didn’t end up panning out and Lalaine just ended up practicing and eventually said, “Well maybe I will do this,” and that’s kind of how it happened. She was definitely interested in what we were doing so that played a part as well.

AE: What was the best part of touring with Sick of Sarah?

ED: Oh, shoot, those girls are freakin’ awesome and hilarious. So much fun. We’ve never really had other opportunities to go on tour and going on tour with them was great. They’ve had a lot more experience and showed us little things to do on the road.

AE: Ah tricks of the trade huh?

ED: Yeah, but really the best part was just that they’re so hilarious and fun.

AE: Have you met Hunter Valentine yet? I know you’ll be touring with them in the spring.

ED: We played a show with them in New York a few months ago and met them then. They played at CMJ too and I think a couple of us hung out with them but I wasn’t able to. They seem really cool, I’m sure it’ll be awesome.

AE: When I was a little girl I used to take an empty toilet paper roll and cover the top with foil and sing to Milli Vanilli in my mirror, did you ever do anything like that?

ED: Oh yeah. When I was little I never thought I would play the drums but I would dance around my room a lot, which I guess lends itself to drumming. You’ve got to have rhythm if you’re going to be a drummer. I would definitely be in the mirror a lot just shaking my little butt.

AE: Who were some of your favorite artists to shake your thang to?

ED: Oh my gosh. I liked really weird poppy music when I was little. When I was really really little I liked the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls, TLC — I loved TLC.

AE: Me too! Don’t go chasing those waterfalls! So, what are you listening to these days? To shake your thang or just to chill out.

ED: I randomly got into Fionna Apple again lately. Criminal was one of my faves when it first came out but I never pursued any more of her stuff until now. So I’m listening to her. I like all the typical stuff like Radiohead and The Faint. I love Heartless Bastards, we saw them at Lollapalooza a few years ago and they’re just great. The Butchers and the Builders were there too and they’re great. Pretty much anyone newish that you can think of. Born Ruffians, We Are Scientists.

AE: So was that what you were just listening to at the gym?

ED: Ha, no, I was listening to T.I. because I need something fast-paced.

AE: Who have been one or some of your biggest female role models? Or someone you think kicks ten thousand asses?

ED: I guess I would say Lady Gaga is pretty baller. If I could dress like her on a daily basis I would do it.

AE: That might be pretty hard as a drummer.

ED: That’s the problem. That’s it. I guess personal role model would be my mom. My mom is one of those people that I can talk about anything with and she’ll tell me what she thinks even if it’s not something I want to hear.

AE: It’s important to have those people in your life to call you out on your B.S.

ED: Yeah pretty much.

AE: Who do you think the hottest female celebrity of 2010 was? You can list more than one if you want, it’s a difficult question to narrow down.

ED: Emma Watson. She just cut her hair off and it’s freakin’ hot! Ashley Greene from Twilight – she’s pretty awesome. I’d say Lady Gaga too because I just love her. And recently, I just saw them on VH1, Grace Potter from Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. She dresses like a girl, but she’s got an edge.

AE: So, I don’t want to pry or anything but have you ever had a relationship with a girl?

ED: Yes, I have. I don’t mind labels but I’m the kind of person that if I like you, I like you.

AE: Do you have any goals for the new year?

ED: I would say, for us to keep writing so we stay sharp. One goal of mine, I want to get a new drum set. That may be a random goal but we’ve had the same drum set since we started playing out. Even if it’s just a single drum. Anything’s better than nothing.

AE: By the way, I really dig your single, “Anatomy.”

ED: Yeah that song turned out pretty awesome. I remember at the beginning, I never thought it would be as good as it is. Not that I thought it didn’t have potential, but I didn’t know it would turn out to be one of our best.

AE: What should everyone know about the album?

ED: Well there’s definitely something for everyone. There are songs to dance to if you want to dance. There are songs to go cry in a corner to if you need to.

AE: What’s the best song on your album to go cry in a corner to?

ED: I would probably say “Missing Teeth” is one of them. For sure missing teeth. You can feel that one if you’ve got your headphones in and are just sitting in a corner.

You can catch Vanity Theft on tour with Hunter Valentine starting at the end of January.

– by Mia Jones

Ellen and Portia had a better New Year’s than you.

Did Rachel Maddow know she was gay in high school? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure her shorts, socks and sandals did!

Drew Barrymore‘s lesbian crush is Rachel Maddow, probably as a result of seeing the above video.

Dee Rees and Nekisa Cooper are taking their feature-length version of Pariah to Sundance to compete for the Best Picture award, and they need your help to get there. The film stars Kim Wayans (In Living Color) and Aasha Davis (South of Nowhere, Grey’s Anatomy, Friday Night Lights). Aasha, who you may remember as Chelsea on SoN, just set up her Twitter account, so hit her up!

Buffy comic #40 is out on January 19 and there will be several Buffy Birthday Parties happening in select cities to celebrate.

Showtime is running marathons of Dexter, Weeds and The Big C this weekend free via Showtime On Demand. Get caught up!

The comedic musical duo That’s What She Said is bringing their special brand of lesbian magic to Chicago for some shows at Davenport’s Piano Bar tonight and Saturday night. Get your tickets here.

Save the dates: Jan. 15-16! That’s when you can join thousands of women across the country and the Human Rights Campaign for Her HRC: A Celebration for Women. HRC Steering Committees from coast to coast will host 30-plus special events specifically designed to unite women and engage them in our fight for equality. The festivities include appearances by Melissa Ferrick and Lucas Silveira of The Cliks in Boston, MA, Thea Gill from Queer as Folk in St. Paul, MN, Michelle Clunie from Queer as Folk and Nicole Pacent from Anyone But Me in Los Angeles, CA and many more. For a full listing of events in each city and ticket info, visit HRC.org.

We’ve heard that The Sounds new album is Something to Die For.

Bi singer Amanda Palmer got married to longtime beau author Neil Gaiman over the weekend.

Out trainer Lacey Stone made an appearance on The Early Show this week, and her wife, model/actress Jessica Clark announced that she’ll be starring in Nicole Conn‘s new film A Perfect Ending.

The National Center for Lesbian Rights is launching the “I am NCLR …” photo campaign, designed to reflect and showcase their clients and supporters who fight alongside them everyday to ensure that every lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender person can live with dignity and security. Want to be in a promo? Go to the NCLR site for more details.

Chely Wright‘s non-profit Like Me Foundation, which provides assistance, resources, and education to LGBT individuals and their family and friends, has awarded its first Chely Wright Like Me Scholarship to Shawn Walsh, brother of Seth Walsh, the 13-year-old Tehachapi, Calif. boy who killed himself after relentless bullying because he was gay. The scholarship will be awarded up to five individuals a year who have actively advocated or made a difference in their high school. The foundation also announced the establishment of its LGBT education and community center (“The Lighthouse”) in Kansas City in 2011, providing information, guidance and resources.

Our own Styled Out columnist Emily Hartl was asked by the Discovery channel to “hack off some fisherman’s ponytail for Locks of Love” and kindly obliged.

Anyone But Me and The Guild picked up 2010 Clicker Awards for Best Web Drama and Best Web Comedy (Serial) respectively..

Sick of Sarah is joining forces with SPY Sunglasses in promotion of their new album 2205.

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected].

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

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