Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (February 29, 2008)

THE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF JACKIE WARNER
This week, Bravo announced that the third season of Work Out, starring out lesbian businesswoman and player trainer Jackie Warner, will return on Tuesday, April 15 at 11:00 p.m. ET.

How will Jackie top her mack daddy skillz of last season, when she hooked up with both her trainer/employee Rebecca "Heteroflexible" Cardon and that other random woman I can’t recall but who looked like a less vicious version of Mimi?

Let’s start with the Season 3 press release that states: "In her personal life, Warner still passionately lives by the ‘work hard, play hard’ motto, but these days she has settled into domestic bliss with her new girlfriend, Brianna, and now claims that her Saturday nights are spent curled up with her sexy gal." Note Bravo’s usage of the word "claims."

Jackie Warner and girlfriend Brianna Stockton

And then there are the four new trainers: J.D. Jordan (who is gay), Greg Plitt (who is straight), Agostina Laneri and Renessa Williams. Agostina "is a 26-year-old Argentinean who is not afraid to speak her mind. Since winning Bravo’s Hollywood & Highland competition to join Warner’s gym as a trainer, she has enjoyed a flourishing career at Sky Sport & Spa, and even stole a kiss from her new boss, Warner."

Agostina Laneri

Hmm. Argentina’s not that far from Brazil. Is biting "normal" there, by any chance?

The other new female trainer, Renessa, is a "bubbly South Dakotan" who "is all smiles and is looking for the right guy." Sure, that sounds suspiciously like she’s straight, but don’t forget that Jackie has the power to seduce all straight women. That’s a hint.

Renessa Williams

Among the old guard, Jesse Brune, Gregg Butler, Erika Jacobsen, Brian Peeler and Rebecca Cardon are all back for more (apparently Zen and Andre have been kicked out of the gym). And if you remember Rebecca at all, she’s not gonna take Jackie’s new relationship lying down. Um, you know what I mean. According to the press release:

Rebecca Cardon is struggling in the status quo after her semi-relationship with Warner ended. She may be jealous of Warner’s new girlfriend or just a little sad because she’s lost Warner’s time and attention. Whatever the case may be, Cardon is determined to regain as much of Warner’s time as she can.

Rebecca Cardon

After perusing the press materials for Work Out‘s third season, I can assure you that this season aims to deliver as much trashy excitement as a slippery bout of lesbian Turkish oil wrestling. How do I know this? I have two words for you: lesbian cruise.

Let the dyke drama begin!

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