Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (February 1, 2008)

 
 

IT’S ALL OVER BUT THE CRYING

Our loyal blogger Jamie Lynn gave us the final update of the season on the the Australian drama about sex workers, Satisfaction. Unfortunately, it’s not very satisfying. Jamie writes:

I really don’t know why I get my hopes up about these things. It’s like the ex-girlfriend you give one more chance, because you know this time will be different. But then it never is. And neither was the last episode of Satisfaction. Yes, this episode ends with Heather (Peta Sergeant), the lesbian character, in tears.

Warning: Spoilers!

Two episodes ago, story arcs were so promising. Heather, the (pregnant) lesbian, dumped her cruel girlfriend and moved herself and her fetus in with a co-worker, the newly divorced Lauren. Lauren, in the process of discovering her own sexuality, found herself fantasizing about her new roomie. And I told myself that it was time to trust again. Surely not every time ends in violence and horror.

But we all know how this story ends; it’s just a variation on a theme. Let’s tally the last two episodes. Hetero-panic? Check. Lauren recites the Declaration of Straightness to Heather, after a stray compliment induces that panic wherein a straight girl assumes that every lesbian wants to jump into bed with her.

Sports stereotypes? Yep, Heather strolls through a scene dressed only in a Wallabies rugby jersey. (Pretty, granted, but cliché. On American TV she’d have been wearing a Peyton Manning jersey to cook breakfast.) Violence and death? Sadly, yes. Lauren’s jerky ex-husband, owner of said jersey, dropped by the house, scaring Heather into stabbing his hand. Verbal sparring between the two escalates into physical abuse, culminating in a miscarriage.

Heather’s still alive to have a role in Season 2; I guess that’s a positive. But I’m not waiting around. You hear me Satisfaction? You promise groundbreaking drama, but you’re just like all the rest. Try seducing me with your pretty girls and trash-talking lesbian again. I’m swearing you off. You’ll see. Er, until next season.

Funny, that’s what I’ve been saying after every season finale of The L Word for the last four years!

LET’S PLAY NAUGHTY SECRETARY FOR A GOOD CAUSE
Ever since the WGA strike began, AfterEllen.com has heartily supported those folks who create the films and television shows we love — even if those films and television shows rarely include our stories. (Not that we’re bitter or anything.) And we’ve enjoyed the star-studded, pro-writer shorts that have turned up on the Speechless website.

Jennifer Jason Leigh

Mariska Hargitay

But the most recent of those shorts is easily our favorite. In it, Maggie Gyllenhaal and two other actors play women who learn that they are all meeting the same man for a hotel rendezvous. When the three arrive at the same hotel room, it doesn’t take them long to do the math. When they realize that the two three-timing man in question, Ampitepa (which we’re sure has nothing to do with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers), has stood them up, they decide to make their own fun. With each other.

Dim all the lights and watch the high-minded debauchery unfold below:

 

I have no idea who ordered the food, but if the girl in the Speechless short is guaranteed to make the delivery, I’d take pizza over room service anytime.

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