Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (Aug. 1, 2008)


What do you call it when 2,500 lesbians flock to the same city to get competitive? Here, I’ll do a little cheer to help you out: Give me a “G!” Give me an “A!” Give me a “Y!” What have you got? EuroGames!

This week 30,000 people descended on Barcelona, Spain, for the 16th annual EuroGames — the largest Olympic-style sporting event for LGBT people in the whole of Europe.

In addition to the regular ol’ sports lesbians usually dominate — basketball, golf, handball, softball, tennis, cycling, volleyball, bowling, rollerblading, running, swimming, beach volleyball, squash, arm wrestling, thumb wrestling and lesbian movie trivia — the EuroGames boast one of the world’s largest platforms for same-sex ballroom dancing.

Long-time partners Caroline Privou and Petra Zimmermann won the women’s ballroom dancing competition this year, and I’ve got to tell you: Their routines gave me goosebumps. Mary Murphy from So You Think You Can Dance would have been hooting “hot tamale train!” before the pair even finished.

If only they would replace the fox trot with some expert-level Dance Dance Revolution, I would be a shoe-in for a gold medal at next year’s competition.

In an apparent follow-up to the Howard Stern interview a few weeks ago, a reporter this week asked Alanis Morissette what it was like to kiss Sarah Jessica Parker during Morissette’s 1999 cameo on Sex and the City.

Morissette said: “I have experimented with same-sex relationships in my life, but it wasn’t about enjoyment with Sarah Jessica. Her character was supposed to be reluctant about getting involved, so it wasn’t a passionate kiss — it was a reticent one, which is the reason I didn’t enjoy it.”

That’s glowing praise compared to Carrie Bradshaw’s voice-over in that awkward scene. As soon as her lips move away from Morissette’s, she says: “It wasn’t bad, kind of like chicken.”

I’m going to go on the record and say that if kissing another girl is like chicken, there’s a pretty good chance you’re doing it wrong.

The Commercial Closet Association, an organization that promotes LGBT inclusion in marketing, handed out their Images in Advertising Awards this week. The winning queer-friendly commercials covered a broad spectrum of markets, from travel to automobiles to dating services to New Jersey’s "Think Equal" campaign.

While most of the commercials and print ads were aimed toward gay men, some of the cleverest marketing was geared specifically for lesbians. Washington Mutual’s same-sex checking account ad campaign not only creates a nice visual, it exploits that urge-to-merge lesbian stereotype perfectly.

See what they’ve done there? She likes cats; her partner likes goldfish. She likes jeans; her partner likes slacks. She likes road bikes; her partner likes mountain bikes. But despite their differences, they both like money.

What they don’t tell you is that if the relationship bombs, you can get your money back, but you’re never going to see your favorite T-shirt again.

by Stuntdouble

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