Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (April 18, 2008)

 
 

WHO SAYS THERE AREN’T ANY LESBIANS ON BROADCAST TV?
Sure, there might not be any lesbian or bi characters on any of the dozens of prime-time broadcast network TV shows, but don’t worry: The crime shows are happy to include us! Of course, only as thieves and killers, but hey, why quibble over details?

AE reader NorthernStar tipped us off to the latest effort at lesbian visibility on this week’s episode of New Amsterdam, courtesy of the Fox network. The mystery behind a number of cons perpetrated against various men turns out to be two lesbians, Kayla and Martine. Martine pretended to be in love with the target, and everything was fine until she actually did fall in love with a target — because lesbians are only one good man away from being straight, you know — and then Kayla killed her and threw her body in the East River.

Dammit, now I’ll have to find a new place to dump my ex-girlfriends!

NOW IF IT WAS CALLED LESBIANS AT RISK, I MIGHT WATCH
Ace tipped me off that out best-selling mystery novelist Patricia Cornwell, who is married to Dr. Staci Ann Gruber, has signed a deal with Lifetime to adapt two of her crime novels — At Risk and the upcoming sequel The Front — into movies, the first time any of her books will be adapted for the big or small screen.

At Risk (and presumably the sequel, which will be released on May 20) revolves around Massachusetts state investigator Win Garano, D.A. Monique Lamont, and Garano’s grandmother — none of whom, unfortunately, plays for our team (unlike the protagonist’s niece in Cornwell’s best-selling Kay Scarpetta mystery novels). Also unlike most of the books in the Kay Scarpetta series, At Risk has gotten very mixed reviews by readers. But I’m guessing the title of this book alone sealed the deal with Lifetime, whose full network name is A Lifetime of Movies with Literal Titles.

It’s great to see more openly queer fiction writers getting TV deals. Not that I’ll actually watch this movie … but I can’t wait until the next season of Army Wives!

PLAYING CHOPSTICKS WILL GET YOU FIVE TO 10
The award-winning German film Four Minutes, about an elderly piano teacher who trains a young convict at a women’s penitentiary, will be screening in New York on April 18 and in L.A. on April 25. Here’s the trailer for the haunting movie:

Is it just me, or for a second there did it look like this movie was about to turn into Harriet and Maude? Yikes!

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