LOCKER ROOM NOT INCLUDED
If simulated shredding isn’t your game, see if you can find a Nintendo Wii console somewhere.
The motion-detecting system was the hot item last season and can still be difficult to find, though sites like WiiTracker.com do the hunting for you. The Wii Sports game comes with the hardware, and includes tennis, baseball, golf and bowling. With the ability to customize your own Mii character, you can be Amelie Mauresmo or Rosie Jones — breaking lamps and furniture instead of championship records. I can’t think of a more lesbian Saturday night than a potluck and four-person Wii tennis.
Early reviews of the game are stellar — even if it takes awhile to get to the alien seduction scene, you should be more than entertained by the space combat and complex story. (Oh, who am I kidding? Get to the seduction scene and then post screenshots in the forums!)
The games Jade Empire and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic also include lesbian characters, as do the various Sims titles if you want to play create-a-dyke. And don’t forget Buffy the Vampire Slayer for Xbox or the BloodRayne games (yes, the movie was based on the video games, which should have been a red flag for Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez). There’s also a Battlestar Galactica game (unfortunately not Razor-centric). Check CheapAssGamer.com or the usual auction sites for good deals.
RE-CREATE THE L WORD POKER PARTY (MINUS THE BAD HATS)
If you prefer Milton Bradley to Microsoft, some new and classic board games and card games will make your holidays happy. Let’s start with a poker set: The 30 Rock cast poker set auction closes Dec. 3, but you can still get a Sopranos poker set and pretend you’re in Vegas with Sarah Shahi. Better yet, upload pictures of your favorite L Word characters and create your own poker chips! Just don’t invite too many of Papi’s ex-girlfriends to your party.
I’ll see that and raise you a set of Frida Kahlo playing cards. (For the card player who truly has everything and tends to favor the surreal.)