Best. Lesbian. Holiday. Ever.

 
 

PLAYING HOUSE
Every lesbian household deserves a few Sapphic touches to distinguish it from our hetero counterparts. No, I’m not talking about hanging a rainbow flag outside your front door (although you can do that, too). I’m talking about monogrammed linens.

If you’re newlydomestic-partnered (or newlywed in Canada or the state of Massachusetts), pick up a set of Mrs. and Mrs. towels ($60). The only problem is that these towels are sold in a his-and-hers set (yes, another reminder of the heterosexist patriarchy!), so you’ll have to buy two sets in order to get enough towels for the both of you. Just pull out the "Mr." towels and reserve them for your gay boyfriend’s wedding next summer.

If you’d rather avoid the whole "Mrs." vs. "Ms." debate, you can order a set of "Hers" towels personalized with you and your girlfriend’s actual names ($36.95). Yet again, you’ll have to order two sets and save the "His" ones for the boys.

For the domestic goddess, consider British hottie Nigella Lawson’s Lavender Measuring Cups ($25). The set of four ceramic cups are not only an appropriately gay shade, but the proceeds from the cups benefit the Lavender Trust at Breast Cancer Care, an organization that supports younger women with breast cancer.

Ladies who aspire toward household perfection will enjoy items from the new Martha Stewart Collection at Macy’s. From the fire-engine red Cast Iron Chili Pot (on sale for $49.99) to the Silicone Igloo Cake Mold (on sale for $20.99), Martha’s pieces are versatile, hardy and timeless — just like the lesbian icon herself.

We know that lesbians are nothing if not devoted to their pets, so get your favorite dog an Eco Nap Mat from Best in Show in San Francisco’s Castro District ($34.95 and up). Each mat is made with IntelliTex fabric, which is comprised of 85 percent recycled plastic soda bottles — the Extra Large size contains recycled plastic from more than 40 bottles!

If you have a cat (or cats), now is the time to splurge on the ultimate kitty playground: a Half Moon Multi-Level kitty condo ($189.99). Show your kitten that she’s more important to you than all your friends — who will only be getting a card from you this year because all your dough went to the kitty condo.

Last but not least, if you’re about to pop the question to your girl, do it the most lesbionic way possible this holiday season. Instead of a ring or even a traditional Celtic hand-fasting, get her the U-Haul Ultimate Moving Kit ($535.66). She’ll get the picture.

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