“Bad Girls” Recaps: Episode 3.06 “Do or Die”


More than she can bear — Nikki sighs over her charred books.

Nikki: [cradling Sophie's World] First thing you ever gave me.
Helen: I’ll buy you another copy.

Nikki: I warned you not to bring that fat head case up here. But you always know best, don’t ya?
Helen: Everyone on this unit is a suspect, Nikki, including yourself. I’m not accusing anyone till I’ve got proof.

And she gets up and stomps out. Crap, are these two fighting again?! She pauses at the door as if she wants to apologize, but then walks off anyway.

Helen. Try to understand that Nikki has just lost the means to free her mind while behind bars. It’s a tragedy!

The wing office — Karen tells the screws about the cell fire. Fenner is sure Pam is to blame. Helen says Pam has no motive; Jim says Pam doesn’t need a motive because she’s a "nutter."

Karen: It could just be books make a good bonfire, Helen. We can’t assume —
Helen: Well, don’t let’s assume anything. All right?

And she stomps off again. This episode could be called “Helen’s dramatic exits.”

So Helen goes directly to Pam’s cell to talk to her. Pam is in her own world of rosaries and demons and doesn’t answer Helen’s questions. Helen looks around Pam’s cell and notices Pam has stuck sanitary pads to her mirror to cover it up. She goes right to Dr. No-no to ask him why someone would do such a thing.

Dr. Nicholson: The woman’s criminally insane.
Helen: I’m sorry, Doctor; that isn’t a diagnosis. That’s an oxymoron, isn’t it?
Dr. Nicholson: What?
Helen: Well, if she’s insane, how can she be held responsible for a crime? And vice versa?

Woo! Beauty and brains. The doc dismisses her, probably because he know she’s right. You can’t argue with logic, especially not when it’s presented with that accent. They go back and forth a little more, the idealist and the narcissist.

Helen: Can I just clarify a point, Doctor Nicholson? Do you or your staff have any specialized psychiatric or mental health training?

He just sort of scoffs. A woman on a mission is a lovely thing to behold.

Poor Josh — Di wants to take Josh for his first drink in the officers’ club. He says he can’t do it; he has to meet a mate. She tries to tag along and won’t go quietly.

Di: Oh, just say it, Josh. You’re embarrassed to be seen with me.

Well, I know I am, anyway. She apologizes, but he already thinks she’s psycho — and so does the soundtrack.

And poor Karen — Fenner tells Karen he’s in love with her and wants to move in. OK, now I’m the one who needs psychiatric help. That is crazy-making!

Comic relief — Nikki! In a towel! Wait, why does she have spots all over her body?

Nikki: Thanks to your mangy mog, my body’s bit to buggery.

Whoa. I think that means she has fleas, not the other kind of buggery.

She tells the Julies they’ll have to find a way to get Tinker a flea treatment or he’ll have to move out of the potting shed. Guess who’s listening to all this from one of the bathroom stalls? Shell, of course. Nikki promises Shell her face will need surgery if she tells Karen about the cat. Nikki’s a badass even when flea-bitten.

Shell: What are you saying that for? Like I’m not a cat lover?
Nikki: I know exactly what you are, doll. And I’m warning ya.

Shell: [as Nikki leaves] Don’t have to lick pussies to like ‘em, do ya?

Shell sure is getting all the zingers in this episode. And she seems sincere about helping. Who knows what she’s up to?

Gina, Di and Josh — Ugh. This is the most ridiculous love triangle ever.

While the screws are standing around, Shaz asks Josh whether he’s heard from Crystal. Di wants to know what that means. Josh gets all uncomfortable. I can’t decide which of them is stupidest. Uh, more stupid? Wait, I know: It’s me, for recapping this.

Hearing things — Pam is outside by the potting shed, wondering why she hears beastie sounds. It’s the cat, but to her it sounds like the devil.

Meanwhile, Di and Josh stroll by and talk about Sylvia’s stolen anniversary clock. Di says Crystal is the only possible culprit. Josh pretends to be even stupider than he is.

Suddenly Pam lunges at the potting shed, screaming, "Die! Die!" Run, Tinker, run! He does, and he doesn’t come back. Later, Shell suggests Pam has actually taken the cat and gets everyone to suspect her. Buki even gets riled up about it, but it’s not exactly hard to rile up Buki.

They all storm into Pam’s cell, but Pam just giggles and counts her rosary some more. Without warning, Buki jumps on her and starts kicking her, hard. What is going on in this episode?! Book burnings, cats, fleas, assaults? This is what happens when Shell starts stirring things up. Next thing you know, Pam is sobbing on the floor and all the screws are in trouble for not watching her. Jim especially — because he’s been out drinking again, or so says Di. Karen tells him to take some time off and get some counseling. He says he can pull himself together, really, he can, really, honest. Why can’t anyone see through this guy?

Choosing sides — In Karen’s office, Helen tries to defend Pam. But Karen is convinced Pam doesn’t belong on G wing and threatens to go right to Simon to get her moved back to the Muppet wing. How can you question Helen when she’s wearing red? Have you no eyes?

Helen wants to get Pam assessed by an independent psychiatrist and promises to take full responsibility if Pam continues to misbehave. Karen agrees, reluctantly. I knew the red would work.

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