THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:
The shyster: Fenner makes everyone — even Helen — feel sorry for him.
The sadist: Hollamby shows her mile-wide mean streak.
The steadfast: Helen refuses to give up, no matter how much Nikki wants her to.
Beating a dead horse — The medics and nurses and doctors, along with Marilyn and Karen, are still trying to save Jim’s life. Karen says, "Try raising it to 360." Uh, what? Raising what? And since when is Karen a medical professional? Not that I’m arguing; she’d look good in a lab coat. It just doesn’t make much sense. But one of the medics looks a little dykey, and I can imagine an ER crossover in which Karen and Kerry Weaver butt heads.
Gosh, I was so distracted by that little fantasy, I nearly missed Jim’s resurrection. Yes, he’s back. No rest for the wicked and all that. And no holiday for us poor viewers. But Shell probably should have thought about the size of the gut she was slashing: She’d need a whole six-pack of bottles to flay those abs. Where’s Dark Willow when you need her?
Speaking of Shell, she’s facing Hollamby’s sneer right about now.
Hollamby: You’ve gone too far this time, Dockley. You’d better pray to high heaven that Jim Fenner’s all right.
Shell: I hope he bleeds to death.
And before you can say "right on," Hollamby hauls off and backhands Shell — hard.
Hollamby: [to the other guards] If she gives you any lip, smack her again. Good and hard.
Whoa. I mean, yeah, Hollamby has always been kind of nasty, but she’s never been purely evil like this. Is this some sort of side effect of the ecstasy they slipped her during the anniversary bash? Nah, just a side effect of a small mind with too much power, I’m guessing.
Somewhere and someone we don’t care about — Crystal — remember her? — and Josh are settling into their new life together. Crystal is staying in Josh’s bedroom while he moves into the spare room, but her tenancy is free only on the condition that she wear his engagement ring. My recapping continues only on the condition that they do something interesting. Nope, not happening; let’s move on.
The wing office — Simon (Stubberfield), Karen and Helen give everyone the news that Jim is doing better and that a bouquet has been sent on behalf of all the Larkhall guards. Hollamby spews spite and bitterness; she’s much more interested in what’s going to happen to Dockley. Simon mumbles that Shell might be moved, but Helen cuts him off:
Helen: Any decision to move her is up to the lifers unit.
You know, the lifers unit. The encounter groups and the surveys and the hope for the no-hopers. Let’s see, who runs that again? Ah, right: The fetching Miss Stewart.
Hollamby continues to spit and seethe and gets right in Helen’s face. Helen tries to take the high road.
Helen: Look, I know that feelings are running high, Sylvia. Now, I’m as upset as you are about Jim. But as head of the lifers unit —
Hollamby: Come off it. You’ve never given that man any support.
Karen interrupts and Sylvia sits down, but the point is taken. At least by me: I actually think Bodybag could give Miss Stewart a run for her money. Ultimately the better accent would win, but it would be a fight to the finish.
Stubberfield says there’ll be an internal inquiry.
Hollamby: And who’s going to head that?
Helen: [standing up, as the music swells] I am.
I love these Moments of Helen’s Power. Is there anything better than watching her stroll into the wing office to assert her authority, or turn around to face Fenner with a broad grin or a smirk of superiority? Not much, at least not when the HMS H&N is on rough waters.