THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:
The green-eyed monster: Nikki is the jealous type.
The gentleman: Dominic misreads the signals but knows how to be a friend.
The growler: Helen snaps and snarls when provoked.
The pouting shed — Nikki is scowling at something gardeny. She suddenly glances out the open door of the potting shed. Why does she glance? Actually, she doesn’t exactly glance so much as deliberately turn to answer the call of … what, exactly? Can she really hear Helen’s footfalls from there, or is something else making her look? Does Helen’s beauty displace the space-time continuum to such a degree that it causes lovelorn lesbians to turn their heads and gaze? Yeah, I think I know the answer to that one.
Having seen Helen walking toward her, Nikki just turns away. This is definitely the pouting shed. Helen — nice suit! — is not a bit prepared for the arctic reception she gets when she says brightly, "Hi, Nikki." Nikki breezes past her with the sort of blank "hi" I give my creepy neighbor who takes strange trips in and out of the building at 4-ish every morning.
Like a perky puppy who has no memory of the piddle on the floor and thus fully believes that a good scratch and cuddle is in its immediate future, Helen follows Nikki.
Helen: I spoke to your solicitor last night. She reckons we’ll get the go-ahead this week.
Helen: I thought you’d be pleased.
Nikki: Yeah, well, my appeal’s not exactly big on my mind at the minute. Not since I found out about your date with Dominic.
Helen: What’re you talkin’ about?!
Nikki: You went out for a curry with him, didn’t you?
Nikki: So why didn’t you tell me about it, if that’s all it was?
Helen: Probably to avoid a reaction like this.
Nikki: Oh, great. Just rams it home to me, doesn’t it? What a huge part of your life I am.
This scene gives me a deeper understanding of the phrase "taken aback." After Nikki goes all Lesbian Paranoia 101 and hisses the "date with Dominic" line, Helen actually moves her neck and head back. Clearly she is buffeted by the harsh winds that are Nikki’s utter lack of logic. (And yes, I did almost expect Helen to tack "Willis" on the end of the line after that.)
Nikki tries to stomp off, but Helen keeps following, this time more like a pit bull than a trusting puppy.
Helen: I went out to talk about work. If you really must know.
Nikki: Did you?
Helen: Not that I have to explain what I do to you.
Helen: Do you know what? Sod you, Nikki.
The way Helen says "werk" and "dooo to yooo" is adorable. But can you imagine how difficult it would be to have a proper fight in a prison yard? All those cons and screws around keeping you from yelling the way you want to. Still, Helen did manage to say, "Sod you," and not very quietly. A side note: I was sort of concerned the first time I realized that "sod you" essentially means "sodomize you," but I’m over it. Now I’m more concerned about Helen’s scary mad face.
Helen — who is not incarcerated and thus can actually make a dramatic exit — clomps away. Nikki seems to immediately regret her brattiness, but not enough to call after her beloved. But that could be the prison thing again. It’s such an instinct-queller.