“Bad Girls” Recaps: Episode 2.09 “The Leaving”

The next day — Di and Dominic talk about the memorial service for Zandra. Di asks about Zandra’s family, but Dom says her baby was all she had.

Back in the four-bed dorm, Crystal and Denny sift through Zandra’s things. Crystal finds a letter that Zan left for her. Damn this show for making me all sappy!

In their cell, the Julies try to find something to wear to the memorial, but their clothes are kind of tarty. They decide Zan wouldn’t mind.

A newbie — A spiky-haired blonde named Shaz arrives for processing. She seems thrilled to be there. I’m not being sarcastic. Let’s just say she seems gay in both senses of the word.

The chapel — Barbara sits down to play the organ for the memorial service. When she lifts the cover, she sees "Your funral (sic) next" scrawled on the keys in lipstick. Guess who wrote that? Nikki gives Shell a stern look.

Out in the hallway, Karen wonders why Dominic is late for the service. He shows up with a baby in his arms: Zandra’s son. Fenner and Sylvia and Karen are more than happy to bend the rules to let the little tyke go to his Auntie Julies for the service.

Crystal reads Zandra’s letter. It’s a testament to friendship — and specifically to the Julies, to Dominic, to Crystal — and it makes everyone cry. Oh, hey, there’s Yvonne! Where have you been, sexy thing?

The letter also has a message for Robbie, Zandra’s baby. And it ends with a request that everyone sing "Kumbaya." So they do. Gah, this is really too much. Come back, Zan!

(The outtakes include a hilarious snippet of the singing bit.)

Insensitive Shaz — Di tells Shaz about Zandra, but Shaz wants to know about her cellmates.

Di: Crystal’s got religion, and Denny’s got … Denny’s got charm.

Good way to put it. I have a feeling Shaz is going to appreciate all of Denny’s charms.

Still making threats — Shell tells Babs she’s going back to her cell to look for her razor blade.

Nikki: Dockley, do us all a favor. When you find it, use it on yourself.

Ah, Wade. Queen of the pithy remark.

Farewells and hellos — Dominic takes little Robbie back to his dad. Meanwhile, Shell meets Shaz and wants to strip-search her, but Denny defends Shaz. Shell tells Shaz that Denny farts in her sleep.

Shaz: As long as she don’t set light to ‘em.

What a couple of goofy kids. And Shell, you’re losing friends left and right. ‘Bout time.

Justice — A bunch of inmates attack Dr. No-no, who repeatedly refused to alleviate Zandra’s pain. Crystal even spits in his face, which just means she has to go back to solitary. But I bet it was totally worth it.

And then another face-off takes place: Babs stares down Shell and finally gets a little respect. Nikki stands by just in case, but Barbara does just fine.

Hatching a plan — The Julies decide there must be a way for Julie J. to have more kids. I don’t know. I’m sure we’ll find out.

Bye, Zan. These crazy inmates will all miss you. So will Dominic, who’s heading home with another shattered look on his face.

NEXT TIME ON BAD GIRLS: Another newbie arrives; Denny and Shaz get to know each other.

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