Back in the Art room — Helen and Nikki look almost post-coital.
They’re just holding hands and cuddling, and then Helen says those three little words:
Helen: I’ve gotta go.
Nikki starts to despair a little.
Helen: What is it? What’s the matter?
Nikki: You, trying to get me out of here.
Helen: I will get you out of here.
Nikki: That’s great, Helen. But you can’t make it your job description.
Helen: Can’t I? Watch me.
Nikki: I don’t want you ruining your career over me.
Helen: So what’re you gonna do? Tell the governor that I’m helping you formulate an appeal? That’s a new one.
Nikki: I don’t want you getting into trouble.
Helen: Look, I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t get into trouble if you don’t.
Nikki: You don’t give up, do you?
Helen shakes her head and seals her promise with a kiss. And another. And another.
Oh. My. At this point, I can’t decide which of them I love more, so I’ll just say this: I love you, Bad Girls.
Getting help — Zandra has been taken to an outside hospital. Crystal asks Di for more info, but Di can’t say ’cause she doesn’t know.
The escort — Fenner, Hollamby and Yvonne are on their way to the hospital (or so thinks Hollamby, anyway). Yvonne suddenly complains about her stomach; she thinks she has the runs. Fenner tells the driver to pull over and escorts Yvonne into a pub.
Inside the ladies’ room, Hollamby makes sure Yvonne goes into a stall that doesn’t have a window.
Hollamby: Did you think I was born yesterday?
Yvonne: Not by the look of you, no.
But Hollamby isn’t clever enough; Yvonne slithers under the wall between the stalls and begins to make her way out the window. But just as she’s about to get out, Fenner sees a newspaper with Charlie’s beaming face on the front page. Realizing what’s up, he bursts into the ladies’ room and pulls Yvonne down.
Curses. I mean, hooray! I don’t want you to go anywhere just yet, Yvonne.
Bad news — Karen talks to Zandra’s doctor. It’s the worst possible news, or at least it seems to be, judging by Karen’s tone. We can’t get the facts just yet, though; that wouldn’t be soap-opera-ish at all.
Locked up again — Fenner tells Yvonne that she has no power now that Charlie’s behind bars.
Fenner: Where does that leave you? In deep, deep s—.
Yvonne: [as Fenner goes] Watch your step. You can slip on s— and break your neck.
No good news anywhere — Karen welcomes Zandra back. Look how cute Zan is again! She’s sweet when she’s feeling better. However, she seems to have no clue that something serious is going on, and apparently Karen isn’t ready or isn’t allowed to to tell her.
Meanwhile, Yvonne cries in her cell, cradling a picture of Charlie.
Whatever it takes — As the various prison staffers make their way out of Larkhall for the night, Helen sneaks back to a room full of files. She finds Nikki’s file and nervously photocopies it, page by page, looking over her shoulder as she does.
Take that, so-called wheels of justice! I’ve got copies! And I’ll get more photocopies, and I’ll get my girl out! I have no idea how, but I think she just might.
NEXT TIME ON BAD GIRLS: The two Julies get their hands on some cell phones; Zandra needs some natural, plant-based pain relief.