A blinding headache — In the four-bed dorm, Zandra’s in so much pain, she can barely see. She tells Denny that she’s not feeling well, but Denny assumes it’s the smack again. You know what they say about the girl who cried "headache," Zandra.
Di swings by to tell Denny that her mum is there to see her — and she’s clean and sober. What? A redemption already? This episode isn’t just a Lifetime movie; it’s a super-condensed one.
Denny reluctantly takes a seat across from her mom, who has brought a nicotine-flavored peace offering. She apologizes and says she feels awful about what she said — half of which she doesn’t even remember.
Denny: You said I should piss off back to me cell.
Jessie: Well, it was just booze. And I swear, I’m never gonna touch another drop again.
She insist she’s in detox and that they’ll someday get a house and real jobs and have a happy life together. Denny is skeptical, but wants to believe. She takes a deep breath and says she’ll give Jessie a year.
Denny: If you’re still off the booze then, I’ll think about it. Until then, I don’t wanna hear from you.
She gets up and returns to her cell, saying, "Fingers crossed, eh?" as she goes. That’s some good, solid, tough love, Den. Well done.
The unveiling — Zandra pretends to be in a panic over a mishap with Crystal’s red top in the laundry room. Crystal rolls her eyes and goes to see what the trouble is. And it’s no trouble at all; rather, it’s a romantic dinner by candlelight. Josh could not be more excited, or more of a dork. Zandra and the two Julies serve as the waitstaff, serving up some grotesque-looking bangers and mash. I suppose it’s all very sweet, but it’s also rather soporific. I wake up a little when Josh goes in for a kiss and Crystal rebuffs him, but then it gets snoozy again as they hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes.
Why can’t we get a Helen-Nikki scene like this?
Di almost interrupts, but she lets them have their fun for 20 more minutes. Thankfully, in Larkhall time, that translates to about two seconds.
The wing office — Karen has decided to hire a group therapist. She asks everyone to think of inmates who would benefit from group therapy sessions. Fenner is nervous about what Shell might say in such a session.
Fenner: It’s just that men are vulnerable in women’s prisons.
Sylvia makes a snide comment, and Karen says that’s the last snide comment she can stomach from her. Karen tells them all she expects complete cooperation with the group therapy idea. I’m on board, Karen: Where do I sign up?
Thinking — Yvonne’s leaning against the wall, staring off into space. Fenner stops by and offers a penny for her thoughts.
Yvonne: Listen, Mr. Fenner. You could offer me a grand, and I still won’t tell you what goes on up here. [pointing to her head] It’s the only peace and privacy I get.
Fenner supposes she’s thinking about her husband, Charlie. She tells him to cut the "crap and the sympathy," so Fenner finally makes his proposal: For just a few hundred, he’ll make sure Yvonne and Charlie get a private room the next time Charlie visits.
Yvonne: Do I detect the ever-so-faint whiff of corruption?
More like an overwhelming stench, you mean. Fenner says he’s had enough of trying to keep his nose clean. Yeah? Well, I’ve had enough of these Helen-and-Nikki-free episodes!
NEXT TIME ON BAD GIRLS: Nikki hears from Helen again; two new inmates arrive; the group therapy sessions start.