THIS WEEK'S RAP SHEET:
The casualty: Rachel gives up.
The creeper: Zandra makes a break for it.
The castoff: Nikki is patient, but Trish is not.
It's off to work we go — There's Helen in her dorky Peugeot. And there's Dominic with his motorcycle, which doesn't appear to be running very well today. Helen sees him struggling and pulls over to offer him a ride.
Look at the way she's smiling as she rolls down the window. Sometimes Helen does a little thing with her tongue. I'm not sure how to describe it: a wiggle? a ripple? a shiver? I think that last word is more apt for my reaction, not her action.
Dominic is a little too happy to be climbing into Helen's car, if you ask me.
When Helen gets to her office, there's plenty of drama waiting for her: Zandra wants an abortion. Helen tries to make sure Zandra's certain about this, but Zandra's so blustery and full of attitude, it's hard to know what to think.
Helen: Look, I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying, have you thought it through?
Zandra: I've thought about nothing else, have I? Last thing I need round my neck right now is a kid.
Zandra gets a little teary for a moment, but then she mouths off again: "Anyway, you get a better deal in here, don't you? Reva Dobson got made into a red band when she had hers." Helen says that getting a better job is no reason to have an abortion, and anyway it doesn't work like that anymore.
Helen: I run a different regime now.
Zandra: It's not different inside the screws' heads. You can't change that so easy.
When she sees Helen's weary face, Zandra relents and apologizes. She asks why Helen's trying to talk her out of it, but Helen says she's just trying to make sure Zandra's doing the right thing — even though she thinks she probably is.
The officers' lounge — Sylvia is inspecting her posture in the mirror. She worries she's "starting with a stoop" because of the heavy keys they have to carry around. Poor Hollamby. Never mind what the prisoners go through: This place is hell on the guards. I guess that's why they're so vile — it's nurture, not nature.
As Sylvia rambles, Rachel mops. Sylvia yells at her to hurry up, not realizing that Rachel's taking her time so she can hang around Jim a little longer.
Lorna and Dominic show up with Zandra.
Sylvia: Where's she skivin' off too?
Zandra: Day by the seaside, Miss.
Sylvia: I believe it and all. It's like Buckland's in here. They'll have us wearing red coats and doing party turns next.
Lorna: We're on our way to the clinic.
Sylvia: There's always something wrong with them, isn't there? Have you noticed?
Lorna: She's having her termination, remember?
Sylvia: Oh, right. Well, why didn't you say?
Zandra: I find it hard to talk about my real feelings, Miss.
Lorna cuffs herself to Zandra and they follow Dominic out.
I don't know really know whether Hollamby said "Buckland's" or something else, partly because I'm a clueless American and partly because Hollamby mumbles. Let's call her Mumbleby.
The clinic — Zandra sees all the stares from the other patients as they notice her shackles. She says loudly, "Wondering how I did it inside? Why do you think they call 'em screws?" She tugs on her chains and starts to make a remark about bondage, but Dominic and Lorna shush her.
Hey, I was enjoying that. Sassy Zandra is pretty great.
A woman scorned — Rachel's pouting in her cell. Fenner stops by for a visit, but Rachel's not feeling very friendly. She says Jim's been ignoring her, but Jim says he just has to make sure Shell doesn't "grass him up" (turn him in), so he has to "keep her sweet." Rachel, why do you believe all the crap that comes out of this man's mouth?
Jim pretends to consider getting Shell transferred to another wing.
Rachel: Am I really the only one?
Fenner: Course you are, love. [kissing her forehead] I'd never let any harm come to you.
I think maybe that was the proverbial kiss of death, Rachel. And the kisses he's planting on your lips right now are the disturb-ial kisses of blecchh.
A serious matter — A nurse gives Zandra a gown to put on.
Zandra: [to Lorna] It's gonna be cozy, this, isn't it, Miss? You and me lying on the bed together while I have my operation.
Lorna asks the nurse if there's only one door. The nurse says there's also a fire exit, but it's got an alarm. So Lorna unchains Zandra. Oh, Lorna. Do you not see how crazy Zandra's acting? Does she seem trustworthy to you? Also, tell the truth: Are you gay? You're so butch. I bet you take those shackles home with you at night. You know, just to inspect them and keep them in proper working order.
Lorna warns Zandra: "One false move." Zandra snarks about shinning down a fire escape in her "kleenex" hospital gown.
Dominic, who looks even paler than usual, excuses himself and says he'll be right outside.