“Bad Girls Club” visits GirlBar

 
 

Later on, Amber calls her boyfriend and tells him that she is about to go to a terrifying type of venue called a “lesbian bar,” a place whose drinks are tainted with rabies and the bubonic plague. She probably won’t make it. This might be the last time he hears her voice. But wait. The bell is tolling. It’s time. It’s time to go. She must go.

The housemates pull up to GirlBar, and all of the cast members start dancing, except Amber, who must have gotten the special rabies drink because she starts to become disoriented and foam at the mouth. Amber tells Annie that she wants to say something rude. Annie tells her not to. Amber continues, “This place is very uncomfortable for me. Basically I’m sucking it up right now.” Amber, the official broken record of the episode.

Meanwhile, Flo meets a tall blonde woman, and they start flirting subtly. “I’d like to f–k the s–t out of you right now” says the blonde to Flo. They proceed to make out. Amber witnesses this and looks nauseated.

Amber asks Flo questions about her sexuality, ostensibly to learn and become more understanding, but the questions are really backhanded comments in disguise. For example, she asks Flo whether her mom would be embarrassed to find out that she is bisexual. Flo’s patience with Amber has nearly run out but she continues her attempt to break through Amber’s thick skull without actually breaking her thick skull.

After going to a chicken wing and beer joint, the entire cast piles into a limo and start making out with one other. Kendra makes out with everyone in the limo, including Amber. Flo sees this and says about Amber, “Make up your mind, bitch.”

Back at home, Amber and Annie are sitting by the pool. Annie is wearing a shirt that reads “Legalize gay.” OK, a little off, but we get the message, and we thank her. (Pink dollar moment: You can buy the same shirt at American Apparel.) When Amber asks her about her shirt, Annie replies, “I’m very strong about it.” Again, sort of off, but we get it and thank you anyway.

Amber, like a Tourette’s sufferer, blurts out yet again that she cannot understand the concept of bisexuality. “You either lick the cooter or you stick the cooter,” she says. Amber, is that hamster wheel tiring you out yet?

The Bad Girls Club Glossary

Or: A conjunction used to connect words representing alternatives

And:A conjunction used to connect words; “as well as,” “in addition to”

Cooter:Something one must either “lick” or “stick.” It is inappropriate to “lick” and “stick” the cooter, because such actions indicate that one is “confused” and “suck[s] internally.”

Box:See “cooter”

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