 |
“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."
—Brad Pitt in the October issue of Esquire Magazine, as reported by the Associated Press.
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
— Plato
|
[Cue fog for dream sequence.] Whoosh! Whoosh! [Cue harp.] Plunk. Plunk, plunk. Plunk, plunk…
Announcer: We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this special report, live from the Congressional Chamber. Hear now, the President of the United States.
President Bush: My fellow Americans, until today I supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. But after considering Mr. Brad Pitt's unselfish and extremely brave declaration that he would deny himself a wife in support of gay marriage, I've had a realization: If Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie don't marry, millions of others will follow suit, marriage will lose its meaning, and, well, Earth will be sucked into a worm hole and we'll all evaporate. And I can't have that on my conscientiousness. So, I withdraw my support of all anti-gay legislation.
Congress : All you need is love … La, la, la-la, la …
In the words of Cher Horowitz, the Clueless princess of self-absorption, “As if!”
What the hell was Brad Pitt thinking? Wasn't he listening when Charlize Theron tried this stunt last November and got little reaction? Did he forget that by entering into a relationship with Angelina Jolie, he also entered into a relationship with every one of her lesbian fans, and we won't take any crap from him, either?
I appreciate that in Hollywood image is everything, and stars as popular as Brad Pitt get caught up in fame and often come to believe they are more influential than they actually are. I realize, too, that we all — stars and fans — lack perspective now and then, and allow our judgment to be clouded by self-interest.
But let's be honest.
Aside from producers of entertainment magazines and an obsessed fan or two, no one really cares if Brad and Angelina never marry. No intelligent person believes that if they hold out on their wedding vows, conservative lawmakers will have a change of heart regarding gay marriage.
I know that. You know that. And, more importantly, Brad and Angie know that. So why say anything?
Page 1 / 2 / 3 - Next
