Page 1 / 2 / 3 - Next
I honestly don't know. Maybe some things just aren't laughing matters. Perhaps like the woman who, in the old joke, walks into the feminist bookstore and asks where the humor section is, I'll discover that there is no humor section.
But that said, after watching two episodes of Flavor of Love, I know I can't take it seriously. And if seriousness is the benchmark for assessing harm, the show doesn't warrant reprobation.
Where do you stand? If you haven't seen the show, here's some background:
The star of Flavor of Love, and the man courting 20 women at once and with the same mouth, is Flavor Flav, whose real name is William Drayton — not that it matters. Flav isn't a fan of real names. Upon meeting the contestants, he strips them of their given names and presents them with new ones, such as Like Dat, Beautuful, Somethin' and Deelishis.
(Please do not write to ask me to correct the spelling; I'm just the messenger. Feel free to grind your teeth, though.)
Flav is no hottie. He's 47 and has the body of a malnourished 15-year-old boy. That's one reason why he works overtime to show his sensitive side. He also has the vocabulary of an 8-year-old. But that doesn't matter, either. The women he's trying to impress are not scholars.
Flav is a caricature. He began his cartoonish career when he became a sidekick to rapper Chuck D, who formed Public Enemy in 1982. Flav is one of rap's princes. I'm sure of this because he wears a crown. A lot.
The man is not afraid to stand out in a crowd. He sports a colorful wardrobe including suits that make him look like the love child of Mr. Peanut and Huggy Bear from the TV series Starsky & Hutch. And when he doesn't have the buttocks of a woman clenched in his hands, he's clutching a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. That's right: fried chicken. You were warned. The baiting is shameless!
Anyway, like the Mack Daddy he's apparently trying to be, Flav cherishes his hats and other accessories, but none more than the huge clock he almost always wears around his neck. What the clock and its size symbolize in the grand scheme of Flav's life, I don't know. And frankly, I don't care. What I do know is that the large clock is a central theme of Flavor of Love. At the end of each episode, each woman Flav chooses to keep in the house is presented with one, along with the words, “You know what time it is.”
Yes, they do. It's time to prepare for another day of acting like jerks.
Among the women hoping to receive a clock from Flav each week are these lovelies:
• Buckwild, a 25-year-old who cheated on her boyfriend with a girl. She's white and from Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. But it seems she doesn't want those facts to ruin her chances with Flav, so she pretends she's from “the ghetto.” And that doesn't sit well with …
• Like Dat, a 35-year-old ad executive, who has spent time in Rancho Cucamonga. She says, “I been out there, and that ain't no ghetto!” VH1 believes that Like Dat speaks in incomprehensible slang (she doesn't really), so to assist viewers in understanding her in the first episode, it offered “Flav-lation” — a written translation of one of her conversations with Flav.
• Nibblz is a 24-year-old writer who “wants to hook up with Flav and at least one girl at the same time.” Nibblz has a lisp, but I doubt the people who visit her website, where she pole dances in her living room, mind. And speaking of pole dancing …
• Toastee, a 23-year-old who got her name because of her fondness for alcohol, navigated a stripper's pole with great precision and without underwear in Episode 2. But all's fair in this dirty game; just ask …
• Somethin', another 23-year-old, who became enraged after being called a lesbian and then lost control of her bowels on Flav's carpet at the end of Episode 1.
Good Lord! Colonel Sanders, Flav-lation, lesbians and poop. Still thinking of taking this show seriously?
Page 1 / 2 / 3 - Next
