Best.
Lesbian. Week. Ever.
by Sarah
Warn,
AfterEllen.com Editor The
lesbian pop culture column
Friday, August 11, 2006
IF
THE GLASS SLIPPER FITS... One
week and 22,000 votes later, we have a winner in our lesbian
movie
poster contest: Cinderella,
by Maureen O'Connell, with 36% of the votes. We all know
Cinderella would have been much happier if she had fallen
in love with Belle instead of that silly prince--and then
she would have had someone besides singing mice to talk to
after a long day in the castle. Congratulations, Maureen,
and thanks to everyone who participated!
Coming
in a close second in the contest was Whitney Slone’s
The
Break-Up, at 32%. But don't get too excited--Jennifer
Anniston's publicist insists that, despite recent movie poster
entries to the contrary, she is NOT engaged to Grey’s
Anatomy’s Katherine Heigl.
YOU FORGOT TO SAY "NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH
THAT"
This is so lame I don't even know where to start. Singer Nelly
Furtado, who only two weeks ago was making headlines for declaring
herself and everyone else to be bisexual, is now backpedaling
faster than Pat Robertson on global warming. "I guess
I was humouring the journalist a little and I was reading
a book about Chinese medicine, and we went off on a tangent,"
an "embarrassed" Furtado told the Sydney
Morning Herald this week, before confirming that she is
straight, but "very open-minded", and "appreciates
her gay and bisexual fans".
Gee,
Nelly, reinforcing the whole bisexual-women-are-indecisive
stereotype sure is a funny way of showing your appreciation.
Next time, just send a card. And if you're reading a book
about marine animals before your next interview, make sure
you don't get carried away and accidentally tell the reporter
you're a dolphin.
BAD AFTERTASTE
A straight cattle rancher's wife flirted with Jackie (and
she flirted back) on this
week's episode of Bravo's Work Out, but
the most lesbian action on TV this week may have been on the
second-season debut of VH1's Flavor
of Love. And that's not a good thing.
Flavor
of Love is reality series in which a group of women inexplicably
vie for the affections of Flavor Flav, an 80's rapper who
makes Bobby Brown look like a catch. The women on the show
are not much better, and unfortunately for us, some of them
are bisexual. And crazy. And not in a good way. Don't believe
me? Watch
this clip. Between Sumthin' and Nelly Furtado, it's been
a bad week for bisexual women!
Advertisement
FOR
YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE
New on DVD this week is the
complete first season of Beautiful People,
the guilty-pleasure ABC Family drama about a mother and
her teenage daughters in New York that also includes 16-year-old
questioning teen Annabelle (Kathleen Munroe). Unfortunately,
ABC Family announced this week that there will be no second
season, so now we’ll never know what excuse the
writers would have come up with to completely drop that
storyline.
Completely
on the other end of the viewing spectrum, HBO released
the third season of its critically acclaimed seriesThe
Wire on DVD
this week. The gritty drama about drug trafficking in
Baltimore includes Sonja Sohn as a lesbian cop balancing
the demands of her job with her partner’s desire
to start a family. Since Sonja has a new love interest
in the fourth season (which starts September 10th), you
can guess how that turns out.
NO
LESBIANS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS MOVIE
Just in case you're wondering, there are no lesbians or
bisexuals in The
Descent, the hit British horror movie import
about a trapped group of women who begin to turn on each
other as a mysterious predator eliminates them one by
one. There aren't any Very Special Lesbian Moments in
the film, either (although there is lots of female bonding).
But cheer up: the usually lesbian-inclusive America's
Next Top Model is returning for a new season
soon on The CW, and really, isn't that the same basic
premise, with less gore?
BUT
WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Speaking of Top Model, former out contestant
Kim
Stolz is settling into life as a VJ for Über,
mtvU's broadband channel--the LA Timesreports
that viewing for the series is up tenfold since she took
over last month.
Rock
Star's openly bisexual contestant Patrice
managed to make it through an elimination round this week
without landing in the bottom three, for a change.
The
L Word's short new fourth-season
promo provides the first glimpse of the new cast members
in action. Unfortunately, it also includes Max.
That's
it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment
of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. or read past
installments here.
