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I wish it didn't matter. I wish I could watch Ellen without noticing the very thing I'm not encouraged to notice. Millions of people are able to ignore that she's a lesbian, and I understand and applaud the importance of that — I even wrote about it a few weeks ago — but I can't ignore it.
I don't want Ellen to be my hero, understand. I don't need her to march for me, get married for me, or anything like that. And I'm not saying that just because Ellen's a lesbian she should talk incessantly about it. I'm saying that the fact that she's a lesbian is not an acceptable reason why she shouldn't talk about it at all.
I'm proud that an out lesbian has made it to the top—very proud—and I want Ellen to be Ellen, not sort of Ellen. When I watch her walk out and greet her studio audience, I know she's leaving part of herself backstage, and I feel bad. Not mad or bitter, just sad. It's dispiriting to know that another lesbian has been silenced. And I don't like to feel like way.
So, I'll head over to The View.
Say what you will about Rosie, but whether or not you agree with everything she says, you have to admit that she's honest and always Rosie—raw, a little brash for some, but always real. If you're gay, you probably find her especially real because her opinions on just about everything are based not only on the fact that she's a woman, a mother and a liberal, but also a lesbian.
I give Rosie a lot of credit. Not a media darling, she's taken more than her share of direct hits, but she keeps getting up. After The Rosie O'Donnell Show ended four years ago, Rosie refueled and materialized as more than an entertainer, involving herself in one project after another. And it was one of her post-TV show projects, the HBO documentary All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise, that provoked Walters to ask her to join The View.
“After emerging teary-eyed from a screening on March 28 of an HBO documentary about a cruise for gay parents and their families, Barbara Walters made a beeline for the film's star, Rosie O'Donnell,” The New York Times reported on May 1. “Ms. Walters told her longtime friend Ms. O'Donnell how much she had admired the film, and then…whispered a question in Ms. O'Donnell's ear: "Would you ever consider coming back to television and being on 'The View' ?"
Rosie didn't think twice. She told Walters, "For you, I would do anything. Call my agent."
While I wouldn't be surprised to hear that, like NBC, ABC has a few worries of its own relating to a lesbian's ability to connect to a daytime audience, the only one we've heard of so far is rather humorous. ABC has included a “hair clause” in Rosie's contract — a clause she apparently agreed to. According to a post by Rosie in her blog at www.rosie.com:
“i have a hair clause
and seeing how the last crazy cut went over
i cant say i blame them”
I can't say I blame them either. But it's a far cry from Rosie being discouraged or prevented from talking about Kelli.
We'll have to wait a year to find out if Rosie leads the women of The View to the Emmy stage or if Ellen wins top honors again. But in the meantime, the winners will be the viewers. Along with commercials for mops and diapers, we'll watch two lesbians, who for a change won't be making out, but making history.
Kim Ficera is the author of Sex, Lies and Stereotypes: An Unconventional Life Uncensored. Her bi-weekly column Don't Quote Me is dedicated to all the folks in and out of Hollywood who talk without thinking or who don't know when to stop talking. Email her at kim@kimficera.com.
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