Don't Quote Me: Online Anonymity Fosters Prejudice (page 2)
by Kim Ficera, October 5, 2006

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But it wasn't until after tuning in to Dr. Phil did I take a look at DontDateHimGirl.com, a website that allows women to post messages about how they were wronged by their exes. On a recent program, I watched Todd Hollis try to claw his way out of the steamy pit of psycho ex-girlfriend hell, while the woman he is suing for defamation, DontDateHimGirl.com's owner, Tasha Joseph, sat smugly in judgment of him.

Here is one of the first posts I read on the website:

“He's a gay ass bitch … He pratices his runway walk everyday … literaly. He switches when he walks … hes still living at home with his mommy and daddy … Note to [name removed]: You's a stupid ass … how does it feel to be on the mose hated site ever! Maybe this will teach you how to treat females.”

Yep, there's a valuable lesson in there.

On the site, Joseph states that she operates a “community of powerful women from around the world who choose to exercise their rights to free speech on the Internet by boldly sharing their bad dating experiences with other women.”

That's one way to look at it. But here's another: Scorned women no longer need to waste time and energy boiling pet rabbits; they can now simply log in to DontDateHimGirl.com, post their exes' pictures and names, and begin destroying the reputations of the men who've done them wrong, all in the name of revenge and in the comfort of anonymity (or, as Joseph might say “boldness”). They can fabricate, impersonate and humiliate all in the same place — and not be accountable for a single word!

And the word is out on Todd — figuratively and literally. According to the anonymous posts, he is not only undatable, but also unstraight. One post states, “ I used to date this guy and heard he was gay, i'm quite sure he is bi … ”

Not surprisingly, he feels unfairly disparaged. So he begged Joseph to remove the posts, but she refused. She made no effort to confirm the things others accuse him of, but apparently that's a minor detail.

Good God, is healing and moving on too boring? And what on earth do the women posting at DontDateHimGirl.com have against queers?

It's very hard to find words to adequately describe how I feel at the moment. Glad to be in a loving lesbian relationship? Happy to be committed to a woman who can spell? You bet! Betrayed? Sad? Soiled? Beaten ? Yes, all of the above, but to the power of hundreds of clicks and thousands of degradations. I am dispirited, broken by a combination of meanness, vulgarity and ignorance.

I know that there are very dangerous, damaged and just plain mean people in the world. I thought them scattered, though. You know, a Jeffrey Dahmer here, an Osama bin Laden there, and tiny clusters of Ann Coulters, James Dobsons and Mel Gibsons everywhere. I never imagined that I'd find so many crude bullies and emotionally retarded cowards, all feeding off of one another on the web.